Chaos De Noir
by Sto-Helit
Summary: The fate of The Discworld rests on the shoulders of a Student Assassin. Relatives of Death, Catgirls, a Trigger Happy Communist Robot and Holograms, Oh my! Discworld/Ranma/Tenchi/UY Crossover. Read and Review.
1. Meeting the gaijin's

Chaos De Noir. -Or Dimension Hopping-A Multi-Anime fanfiction By Sto-Helit.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Discworld Belongs to Terry Pratchett, Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer, Ranma 1/2 belongs to Viz and all others things that are not excactly mine but I'm using them for the use of the fanfic belong to there own companys, This including parady's, Immatations of Celebrities and offensive jokes made about bashers.  
  
Well, Maybe not the last one. -Sto-Helit.  
  
200th Century of The Fruitbat presents:  
  
The fanfic.  
  
'Get on with it!'-Monty Python and The Holy Grail.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********** You can't recall  
  
If the risk is too far...  
  
Or if everything was a blur  
  
When you met her.  
  
All that you remember  
  
On the tune of a vampire  
  
An amerikana toom  
  
About impending doom...  
  
I'll fetch your tankyard,  
  
Fill it to the brim.  
  
It can't go stale,  
  
Broken drunk in.  
  
Wondering how long,  
  
Untill you meet again.  
  
On the bank of the river...  
  
Too much to drink...  
  
You can barely think.  
  
Too much too bear, you can-- -------------------------------------------- Lewton's song from Discworld Noir, Which I had dubbed to call 'Ankh- Sorrows.'. Oh. And James has a normal plain English accent.  
  
If'd anybody been watching the edge of the Disc onto of the four Elephants who were supported by a giant Turtle floating through space, and at a small island, they would have felt a huge thaumic blast. Of course if they'd been caught in that blast they would all be rubber ducks or some object you play with at bathtime. The Discworld had been saved, For the fifthtieth time. Not that anybody cared, And the person who was once a boy that lived on 4 Peach-Pie street, Ate dinner of his family, Shipped off to the toughest boarding school and then was chased by the masters of hell was having a REALLY bad day. This however was not going through his mind. He was more rather concerned with not falling into the vast infinite of space thank-you- very-much. Whatever was going to happen, Thought James, It's not going to very kind to my clothes or me!. Then panic broke out. "Oh shitohshitohshi I'M GOING TO DIE!".  
  
The Sun slowly rose in the sky. It's light glinting onto the windows of the Masaki house and into Ryoko's eye. She winced, Though she didn't care. She moved slighly to get the sun rays out of her eye. Ryoko was in the Kitchen cooking. A smell was rising from the pot on the range. Ryoko closed her eye's and danced a little jig, Trying her best to be quiet. Her joy was infinate!, This time she followed a cooking book! Fumes rose from the cooking pot and out the open window, A poor Bird at the time flew into it. There was quiet thump that was all out ignored on Planet Ryoko. I didn't say the cooking was good. "Oh Tenchi!" cried Ryoko breaking the silence like a cheap Rice-Cake. Ryoko twirled around, Giggling like A schoolgirl just before she meets Mr.Tenticle monster. As she twired she knocked the saucepan handle sending a small amount of contents sploshing over the side. Then a buzzing sound began to slowly fill the room. Ryoko ignored it and dissmissed it as a fly. She turned back to her cooking and pulled the rather blackened spoon that was once Stainless Steel and was about to taste. At this point the buzzing sound was turning into a very clear voice. It was saying 'ARRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!'. Ryoko turned around sharply expecting another nemises of hers to burst though the wall, Possibly in some sort of Mecha. She stepped forward getting ready to ignite her lightsword when she heard a comotion behind her. First there was the sound of something landing heavily on the ground hitting some cookware, And then something that sounded like someone sliding down the side of the Oven. The second sound was something spilling and then the final sound was the Cookware falling off the Oven and landing on the person on the floor's head, Making a humorus light 'boing' sound. She slowly turned around to see a soggy looking gaijin laying against the cooker surrounded and soaked with the last several hours work. Ryoko frooze.  
  
James blinked. He was quite confused. But he knew one thing. He was wet with something that smelled sligtly like Charcol. He also knew the Women with the Violent hairstyle and large assesets was going to be mad at him. 'I must be in Agatea..' he thought muzzily. James got up and hobbled through the Kitchen door and then out of the front door leaving a trail of slightly pink soupy liquid and sparking of Octarine. He guessed this was not going to be a very good day.  
  
Ryoko twitched slighly and made a confused noise.  
  
James winced when the sun got into his eyes, his glasses evily helping the glare. He decided to ignore the mild glare for now and turned his head slightly to the left. He had hobbled out of the house and down to the lake side. He found the lake a surprise, But it was also quite stunning. James looked into the lake and gasped with shock. His appearance had been altered. His skin was not faded pink-slightly white anymore. Just a normal healthy pink. His eyes had grown as well. James took off his fullmoon shaped specticles and they [His eyes] were still round. Also his hair looked better than it had been in years. James looked at his figuire. He was still thin, Thanks to the small amount of food he ate back on the Disc. Almost everybody was thin. But his waist had expanded just a litte. Come to think about it, My whole body looks differant, Thought James. Then he tasted the tinny taste of Octarine. Then James remembered riding the Octarine blast. Or to put it another way thrown from The Disc to...this place. James trotted off towards the forrest nearby, He needed to sit down and think. And why was he wearing this Black robe..?  
  
Ryoko gritted her teeth.  
  
Meanwhile, James had followed a path through the forrest and was currently knealing down behind a clump of bushes, A small open rucksack at his side. He only cracked with Octarine every 8 or 9 minutes now. It was wearing off. The taste was dieing too. The Rucksack was Jet Black and tattered around the edges. It looked small, But thanks to the spell he and his fellow Assassin's were given, They're Rucksacks could carry twice as much inside. James had removed his robe and was currently sitting on it. He looked up in the Sky, And noticed the dark clouds were gathering. He guessed the thaumic effect was playing with the weather. James turned his attention back to his rucksack and opened it. He pulled out 3 pairs of Black long sleeved light shirts, Meant for the Summer when he packed them. Then 3 Pairs of cheap black dyed Cotten Trousers which had only been washed less than 20 times and were already starting to fade. Then he pulled out 4 pairs of black socks and black leather gloves. Then James pulled out a Wide brimmed black Hat which looked alot like Zorro's, but more battered and manurished. All Assassin's guild senoir members had. He hit it against the ground and the hat made a hollow 'Boink' sound. Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibblers Starch, The only problem is the smell of wet ash faded in a week or two. James then pulled out Halftop, Which was a Black Balaclava that ended just under the eyes. Used by Senoir Assassins and up. James then pulled out a thin sheet of Agatean silk with cheap black twine threaded though two holes on each side. One of the strings had a knot in it, Which James could never untangle. This was a Mouthwrap, Which with the Halftop hid your face. James noticed the clouds were gathering up quite fast and he intensed his search in the Rucksack. He found some cheap rings with glass jewls, His glasses cloth, A Battered cheap copy of Twerps Peerage, Volume 32, and Hwel Monthly Magazine and at last a Faded coloured keyring on more Black twine saying 'I survived the Shades'. James blinked. He was missing his map Of The Sto- Plains and The Circle Sea beaches. He paused to think where he might have left it, Which was useless but gave him something to do.  
  
Ryoko closed her eyes and started to growl a low toned growl.  
  
James sneezed. He blinked for no reason. He blinked again startled at the strange sound. Why did he just sneeze..?. He didn't have too and he had no cold. Suddenly he had a feeling of dread, Which was starting to build up quite quickly. James decided to take his mind off by going through the rest of his posetions. James put his arm in the Rucksack and felt around, Prodding carefully untill he found the cold feel of metal, and then going slightly upwards the feel of decent leather. He then felt the leather via the middle until he found the end of the belt, The buckle. He carefully lifted the belt out. This belt was an Assassins Guild Promoted Knife Belt. It was dark brown, Had 12 little tough leather straps for 12 Knifes/Daggers/Dirks/Throwing Knives/Stilletto's or Foils. Currently it had 6 Sharpened Knives and 6 Official Assassins guild regulation Black steel daggers, Which James was very proud of. James placed the belt on the neat pile of his offer posetions he had removed from the Rucksack. Now you see why the spell was used on the Rucksacks. He then took out a small brown box, Which he opened. Inside were 5 Number 3 type throwing Knives. He had been a good Knife thrower at the Guild. A skill that had saved him many time. 60% of the time, Where it was not needed. But sometimes people had to show off. Just a little. It was another version of practice, James told himself. He then went back to pulling the last of the contents off the Rucksack. It was a long magnificent Black riding cape, Something truly dashing, Somethng that looked like it came out of a BBC 1 Drama about Dick Turpin and other Highway Men. It was done up by a Shiny Silver skull brooch with 2 Dark blue Ankh stones. James knew it was worth 600 Ankh-Morpork Dollars, He didn't want to sell it. It was a gift from a Higher member of the Family.  
  
Ryoko now consumed with raw anger and rage that she had gathered in the last 9 minutes roared. Almost the entire Bird Population around the Masaki estate took flight off the Masaki estate. A moment later a angry Ryoko, Phased through the door.  
  
James watched the birds leave in astonishment, and also the roar of anger. Then he got a call from common sense. It told him the following, 1.Something Angry was coming this way. 2.If it/he/she catches you, It's IS going to hurt. 3.Prepare yourself. James nodded to himself. He put away his Twerps Peerage, His Glasses cloth, and the Three Pairs of Shirts, Trousers, Socks and 2 pairs of the leather gloves. He picked up the robe and considering to leave it there, Shook his head and put it in his rucksack anyway. It might protect me from the rain, or make a good meal If I survive the cheap dye, he thought.  
  
Ryoko floated down the forrest path, Looking around slowly using Sight, Sound and smell to locate the gaijin.  
  
James knew that the Demon was on his tail now. If was confirmed when he peeked quickly from his scrub of bushes on the side of his path and saw a Cyan Spikey blodge. James adjusted his cloacks brooch. He was wearing everything but the mouthwrap, Which was in his pocket. He blinked and then did a 10 second pray to the God of Gappe, The Clothes God. It was just a prayer for his clothes but it gave James slighty comfert.  
  
Ryoko stopped and blinked. That was the gaijin that stepped out virtually infront of her, He was wearing the same set of clothes. What she REALLY couldn't belive is that he turned around and started sneaking away.  
  
After his prayer James, Closed his eyes. He hoped it would work this time. Sometimes he could walk through walls, Do the voice, Make his eyes glow, Can actually make things from raw Space and time, As long as you did not mind the object being black. The most usefull one was going invisable. James remembered one of the Wizards at the UU explaining to him, That these powers were like a rusty tap. Keep turning it and it will eventually give it. Or brake off. James felt his body...do nothing. He stepped out into the middle of the road, Hoping he could sneak away quick.  
  
"Hey!, You!". It was a good change from "Oi, You!" James thought. James knew it had failed again. He turned around slowly. A minute ago before the discovery his biggest fear was that the starch would leak out his hat and it would go all floppy. No matter, He had an in-sur-ant's plan. Ryoko stood with a serious look with her hands on her hips. "Okay, Whoever the hell you a-". One of James's throwing knives wizzed though the top her hair and clinked on the ground. Ryoko just blinked. James groaned. He then wipped off off his robe and posed. Ryoko burst into laughter. James blinked and watched the Cyan haired girl roll around in the dust laughing. It was a horrible flashback to the age of 6 again. And then irratatingly, It started to rain.  
  
Ryoko was laughing, She had never seen a strange mix. The gaijin wore alot of black, Which was supposed to look dashing or sinister on these European Romance Novel heros. But the person wearing the clothes was not a hero. He was a bumbling kid, Whose best shot was going to be missing the 3 inches above her head with that knive. That would have stung abit as well. The thing the made her laugh most was the glasses, which were being worn over the Halftop. Also, The large brimmed hat he was wearing was starting to look like it was going floppy. She stopped laughing, Stood up and brushed the mud-dust off her skirt solemly. A look of sudden revalation crossed James's face.  
  
"Sod!" swore James. Ryoko grinned a scary predatorial frin. "That's right kid, you should of ran while I was down on the ground". There was a pause, The Rain was getting quicker by the second. James was mainly worried over his hat. "I don't suppose a simple, 'I'm sorry' would let me be on my way..?". He gestured vaigly up the road. Ryoko paused. "Hmmmmm...Uh, Can you give me back 6 and a-half hours..?" "No". "Then No." James considered running as fast as he can, Then he saw Ryoko form a Ki ball and his mind reacted automaticly.  
  
Ryoko threw the ball, And blinked as it moved through the space where Mr.Gaijin had occupied a moment ago. She turned quickly and saw a black blur cross the road from the right to the left, She grinned, Ignited her lightsword and gave chase. This was going to be fun.  
  
James was terrified. His day was already going from bad to worse, He was being chased by a Psychotic Cyan-Haired Agatean looking Women with a body that could get her fame without even trying in Ankh-Morpork. He was using one of his mortal talents, A talent her perfected for the last 10 years of his life. Agility. If you wanted strength, Go to the Warriors guild. Of course those morons got killed alot. The Assassins Guild, However, Did not use strength and did not have any need for it. Anybody can use a dagger, But they need to know where to cut, How quick they can do it and how fast they can write a receipt and vacate the Imhumed persons house. Agility kept you alive, Not Strength. If you try to stop a falling Meteor with your bare hands you'll be crushed. You just had to run very very fast to get away from it.  
  
Ryoko was following James through the forrest with ease. His pattern was very predictable, Slightly confusing but predictable. He zigged left then right, And that was it. He sometimes grabbed a branch of a tree and swung forward and landed perfectly, Stumbling slightly and then starting running again. The stumbe was what kept Ryoko just behind James. She dodged left as a Throwing Knive wizzed past her on the right, Then dodged right as the throwing knive wizzed left. "Have to do better than that!" she called.  
  
James was panting with exhaustion. This was even worse than the The Run, A Gauntlet of traps and tests that Senoir Student Assassins all had to take to become real Assassins. The prize, Official Assassinhood and 10,000 AM Dollars. If you made a single mistake you'd be dead or badly hurt. James had never taken The Run, He was about too in a week before the whole dammed Incident started. He skidden on the dirt, Turned around and held out a hand in a palm open gesture, Meaning 'Stop'. Ryoko grinded to a half out of instict. "That...is...it *wheeze*..you..*cough*..have forced me too use this!'". James grabbed the hilt of a sword that was lying in the hipscabbard, Something that had been taken out the rucksack in the last minute before James stepped out into the road. Ryoko stood still blinking, Waiting for something to happen. James right arm pulled the Broadsword out, A little too quickly. The Sword flew out of the Scabbard and into a neaby tree. James sweatdropped, A blinked at the feeling of the sweatdrop. He moved towards the tree and started to pull it out. It was jammed in tight.  
  
Ryoko was filling her nails, Humming. Looking up to see how Mr.gaijin was going. James finaly got the sword free and ignored Ryoko's sarcastic rapid clapping. Ryoko then looked at the sword. It was a European design. One of those Big thick swords, Used by those guys in Braveheart. I think it's called a Broadsword thought Ryoko. But the oddest thing was, The Blade was like Dark Blue glass, The Handle was black with a purple pommel. It was obviously a magic sword. Seen one magic sword, See them all. Ryoko yawned and raised an eyebrow. "Okay, What does it do..?". James blinked. "Er, It cut's mortal King's souls. And it cut's other things as well. That's all it can do, I'm afraid. It's very sharp though, It can cut diomand with ease." said James with a hint of pride in his voice. "Uhuh..And the blade..?..The souls of those Kings..?". "Frozen time actually.." said James. Ryoko threw the black robe at James. "Yours, Don't litter this estate.". James nodded and then almost screamed out in surprise as Ryoko slashed downwards at him quite viciously. He caught the slash clumsily with his Broadsword. Ryoko began slashing at James as a fast speed side-to-side very quickly, James caught each one clumsily and then he dropped his sword. He bent down at a quick speed to pick it up dodging Ryoko's blade that passed the area where James's head was. James stood back up and found the tip of the lightsword pointing inches away from his throat. "Mwaaa." he spaketh. "It's been fun, I won't kill 'ya.." said Ryoko. James blinked. "I might turn you over to Washu.." while saying this, Ryoko produced a sack out of nowhere, Holding it with her left arm while pointing her Lightsword at James with her right. She was about to swing the sack down at James and quickly knock him out her arm started to tingle. James glowed blue for a moment and then he dissapeared. "Huh..?". Ryoko waved her hand back and forth in the space that James had been in.  
  
**************************************************************************** *******  
  
At that moment James was blasting through L-Space again, Closing his eyes and uttering a prayer to Gappe.  
  
In a darkened Cellar of a Russian built Research center somewhere in Siberia, The first sparks of Octarine bounced off the metal and wooden crates that stored Weapons, Vials of half dead bacteria and the odd Nazi Generals Skeleton. James dropped from the air and landed clumsily, Not to mention painfully on his feet. James winced from the pain staggered back words. He then tripped over a small low box and went flying. He knocked against the wall, What he thought was a wall. It was some sort of container buit into the wall. James only knew it wasn't a wall when he flew back dented it and heard a snapping sound. He got up and looked around. His Night Vision was coming quickly, Another Asassin's Guild learnt tallent. James looked around. He saw a Small cellar window. "Finaly.." he mutterd and waited for his vision to finaly clear. When It cleared he began stacking crates carefully ontop of each other. Not noticing the blue light coming from the place he colided arse-over-tip into a minute before. For the first time in 9 years, Soviet Red Unit 245 could sense it's wereabouts.  
  
James was holding a long wooden crate, Which was thin but longer James by the bottom and slowly tipping it, Wondering what the rattleing noise was and would it be stable enough to aide his escape. He didn't notice the door of the Built in container open and a robot sneak out. Red Unit 245 turned slowly and looked at the figuire he asumed that free'd him, And snickered. He was rattling the Coffen of Nazi General Von Boffik. He tipp-toed silently and steathily to the door and peeked through a crack.  
  
Outside the Cellar was a Wide hall full of lockers, Lit with bright cheap overhead lights. Yuri Aramov, A young Russian Soldier, Wearing the Light Green Trouses, Shirt, Brown boot's and Berette was humming. The Kalishnikov caught Soviet unit 245's interest the most. Yuri was at the end of the Locker room watching the door that lead out to the other side. The door to the cellar was also in his range view, So he would raise the alarm of Soviet Unit casully stepped out. Soviet Unit turned around and walked over James who had decided on the Coffen as poor and had chosen a medium sized box full of mostly disarmed Mortar shells. He decided by his look's he was English. He choose to spoke English. "Do you have a coin I could prehaps borrow, Comrade?". James, Who was absorbed in his work handed a Unpopular 15 Pence Ankh-Morpork coin of Lord Snapcase, The former Patrician. "Here you go.". Soviet took the coin and went back to the Cellar door, Opened it a crack and tossed the coin into the middle of the room. "Huh...what was that..?" muttered Yuri in Russian. Soviet watched the young Russian soldier cross half the locker room to investigate. When he passed the Cellar door, Soviet opened it slowly and silently. As Yuri bent down to pick up the coin, A chunky three fingerhand slammed into the back of his head gently, Knocking him out. Soviet picked up the dropped Kalishnikov and rumaged Yuri's body for some extra clips. He found 3. More than enough. Soviet unit then broke open a locker and took a map, and Passport inside. He then shoved Yuri into it and closed the door. He was about to brake open a second locker when another Russian soldier walked through the locker room door.  
  
James stood back and looked proudly at his achivement. The boxes were all stable and fitted against and optop of eachother in a perfect way. James was glad of his new talent. He knew when putting heavy boxes ontop of eachother and makinf sure they would not fall ontop of eachother would come in handy in the future. "Hang on, That box looks a little bit slanted..". James got on his knee's, Took a AM 1p piece out of his trousers and slotted it under the box at the bottom that looked. He stood back up and clapped both his hands triumpently. Then he heard the alarm. "Hells.?".  
  
The Russian Soldier dived back into the Corridoor he emerged from just in time, The area where he was standing had been ripped apart by 9 AK47 rounds. He then raised the alam and in seconds the baise was in Chaos. Soviet knew they knew he weakness, So he decided not to hang around. He dived through the door just as a Patrol of Russian Soldier arived in the locker room.  
  
James quickly turned around and saw Soviet Unit running fall blast in his direction. He quickly jummped to his right. Soviet unit stopped where James had jumped, Aimed his stolen Kalishnikov at the Window and open fired. Soviet Unit then climbed quickly through the window and outside the base. Before James could react, The door slammed open and seven Russian Solider armed with the same Weapon's ("Gonne's, I think" thought James thought subconciously) with sharp Bayonets on them. They saw James and one of them barked a order out in Russian. James decided it was a good time to use his agility and start moving. James jumped, Landed on the boxes, Skillyfully climbed them and dived though the window as AK47 bullets flew around him. One of the bullets hit the box that contained dead Mortars. The Motars were not as dead as they thought and they exploded. James was on his stomach looked at the Siberian snow dazidly, Thanking the deity that had been granting his some good luck for exchange. A red hand tapped James shoudler. "Need help getting up, Comrade..?". "Yes, Please, Thank you. The red hand pulled James up and before James could say 'Thanks' he was staring at the Barrel of Soviet's Kalishnikov. He luck had changed for the worse.  
  
James had his first proper look at Soviet Unit 245. (It's hard for the author to give the appearance, But he has a picture of a Pseudo-Version of him in a Futurama message board link - online.de/peel/stuff/comics/peel1.jpg). The 'Gonne' barrel being pointed at him was the most worrying thing at the moment. "Allow me to introduce myself Comrade, Nurdbot Romuski Travishek, Former Captain of the Read army, Former Chekka agent and Mercenry.". "That's..a long name.." said James. "I have more but we both seem to have not much time..the Soldiers that would have survived that blast might think you are Chechnian Terrorist. "A what..?". "Look, Give me your robe or I'll shoot you. I haven't got time for this. Don't make me kill you, Doing that when you meet a Freind is bad for your Karma..". James shivered. The snow was starting to fall quite quickly. It was almost up to his ankles. "But I'll freeze!" "This is Siberia, You'll condense before you freeze..". That was not very reasuring. James removed and handed his Robe to Nurdbot. "Thanks!". The robot snatched the robe, Put it on and ran into the snowy night. James then heard shouts of Angry Russian. And Dogs. James never liked Dogs. An old terror arose, James stumbled forward and fell down into the really cold snow. "Oh I wish I was someplace Warmer, And slightly freindlier.." he muttered. James then Sneezed. And then in a flash he was gone again. **************************************************************************** ********** Let me take a moment to explain about Octarine, And what it is made of. Octarine is made of bilions and bilions of Thaum's, Magic atoms. That's as far as the Wizards could explain about Thaum's in the Unseen U. As for the students explination, I haven't got enough Space for it. Besides you'd just get bored and fall asleep. What THEY do not know is that Thaum's are actually smart. Slightly smart. They're like Parasites. They find a Good Wizard's Body and live in it. Of course the Thaum's never die but they loose there Octarine power as the Wizard/Magical being they have inhabited gets old. When the Wizad/Being dies, The Thaum's just fade away. But they can transfer themselves to anything magical. Be it being or things like Staff's, Wands or other Magical items. The Thaum's themselves can choose to stay in the item or if they choose, Leap into a another Magical thing at they're own choice. James had got his Thaum's from the blast that transfered him from the Discworld reality to the Anime-Version of Earth. Some Thaum's are camping in James's broadsword, The rest are living inside James. To be acurate, James has 56.2 Billion Thaum's in him. Maybe even more. That almost makes him as powerfull as the Archancelor and head of Wizards at the Unseen U. The Thaum's know when James is in danger and don't want there host to die, So they just transfer his matter to a random place and hope it's much calmer than the last. **************************************************************************** ********** Another Day began in Nerima. Nobody noticed the spilt second change in the Amosphere, Or the terrified screaming of a Seventeen year old wishing he hadn't been so damn heroic. Then a splash.  
  
The morning sun glowed peacefull on Tendo's Koi pool. Of couse the Koi are not swimming peacefully because of the head of a rather wet gaijn bursting out of the water, coughing and cursing. James crawled out of the Koi pool and on to reasonably dry land. He lay there on the ground, Soaked in slowly drying pond water and recovering his wits. Then he stood up, Shaking from the cold and was about to turn North out of instinct when a crushing blow landed in the back of his head. The whole world was now a big meadow with exploding purple Cows. The Sun was warm, And there was little hostility. James enjoyed it while it lasted.  
  
Akane Tendo and Ranma Satoame both stood next to each other looking down on James and wondering what he was. "He could be a Thief.." suggested Ranma. "Ranma, It's broad daylight..". "Oh, How 'bout a Door-To-door salesman..?". "Nope. He doesn't have a bag or something that carrys his products."."Vampire...?" "No." "A freind of Nabaki's..?" "No." "A Pizza-Boy..?" "Father hates the stuff." Akane paused. "Do you think he might be a Friend of your Father..?, Y'know..?" "A Victim..?"  
  
"Probably.". They both looked at him. "I didn't even hear him enter the Garden.." said Akane. They went inside, Got some rope, Gagged and bound him and then dragged him into the Tendo house.  
  
There was a splash as Genma landed into the same pond James had impacted almost 20 minutes ago. A battered looking Panda crawled out holding a sign saying [You'll pay for that!] in Japanese. Ranma walked back into the Tendou house dusting his hands. "He doesn't know anything, He says he's never been to Europe..". Nabiki had joined Akane and Ranma. "Do you have any idea's Nabiki..?" asked Akane. "And make it quick, The water might damage the table..". Nabiki blinked. "Yeah..". She moved towards the sodden Morporkian on the table and reached into his right Trouser pocket. "Nabiki..what are you doing..?". Nabiki pulled out a small leather sack tied at the top with a piece of purple twine. "This might hold our answers. People always carry identifaction in there Wallets or in this case..a purse. Ranma burst out laughing. He stopped when Akane elbowed him. "Quiet!, You'll wake Father up from his Nap. You know what he's like on Sunday morning after to much Sake..". Nabiki pulled the purple Twine and let it fall to the floor. She turned the purse upsidedown and upended the contents onto the table near it's owner. 8 battered looking Nickel coins first fell out and clanged on the table, followed by a bunch or soggy cards and a sheet of paper. "What the..?". Akane picked up a coin while Nabiki picked up one of the cards, Each held the items between finger and thumb. Nabiki looked at the card she was holding. Most of it was in a strange style or Writing, Which made her eyes blur if she attempted to read it. In the right Corner was a rather glossy looking Photo of the person that was occupuying the surface of the table. Nabiki flicked through the other documents. Atbthe last one she raised her eyebrows.  
  
The Jetplane number 2456 of Tokyo International Airport bounced gently on the Run-Way as she landed. As soon as the plane had stopped and the stairs had been put in place, a stream of harassed looking people from all nations came rushing out. It was horrible. It all started when 2 Men in a seat somewhere around the middle of the left rows of seats, started a conversation at the many forms of Goverments. When it got to Communsim (Or Marxism) both of the opinions seemed to affect the Man sitting in the seat infront of them. They all it really wasn't Man, Something more evil. The 'Man' stood up, turned around and shout his opinions, Mostly abusive. He then muttered something about spines and crowbars. For the rest of the trip he was a trouble to these Men, As well as the suffering crew. Both men had to see a Psycholigist so they could listen to Russian without flinching. The last one off the plane was a very tall person wearing a rather covering Dark-green greatcoat and a large furry Hat. It had a Star on the front. He was in a cheerfull mood and was intending to get out of the Airport before the Security arived 10 minutes later he stood at the enterance of the Airport. He needed a guide. He looked around the area and he saw a Teenage Boy, Wearing a Yellow-Long sleeved shirt, Black trouser, Typical Japanese Summer foorwear and a Bandada. "You there, Boy!" said the stranger in perfect Japanese. The young man looked up, "Huh..?". "I need a good guide to the District of Nerima, Can you take me there. I vill surely pay you for your troubles.". Ryoko Hibiki leaped up. "Sure, Follow me..Mr..?". There was a Pause. "Mr. Leon Ilich.".  
  
"Akane, Have a look at this..". Nabiki handed a faded purple peace of paper to her sister. Akane took the paper and looked at it. It had writing in the same strange writing Nabiki had seen, In a rather Bold black font. At the bottom sign was the Omega, or something that looked like the Omega symbol. Akane started to read. But she actually never read the words, She started to read and then a Booming voice like let coffen lids slamming down in caves was echoing around her head pronouncing the words for her. She didn't understand any of them and it made her felt dizzy if she tried to follow along. "Hey, What is it..?" asked Ranma. Akane handed Ranma the Purple Sheet of Paper. Ranma took it and glanced at the sheet. "Hell!". The sheet fluttered to the ground and lay there. "Did you hear it too..?" asked Akane. "Yeah..creepy..". Nabiki nodded in agreement. They all loved at the slowly drying guest on the table. "He could be a Spy.." said Ranma. "Ranma, That's just plain stupid.." hissed Akane. "Pffft. A uncute Tomboy like you wouldn't understand my great suggestions..". "Ranma no BAKA!". James awoke at the sound of wood connecting with Ranma's skull. As a couple of seconds passed slowly, he released his was tied up. "Oh god's..". All attension was then on him.  
  
Meanwhile, Ryoga was kneeling on the ground, looking at a map of Tokyo's Districts that Mr Ilich had kindly provided and was not oblivious to the bullets wizzing over his head and the screams. Mr.Ilich, however, was much more tuned to the current events. Both of then were kneeling behind a shattered wall with bullets wizzing over there heads in a ruined town. What Mr.Ilich had gathered that his guide was not as good as he suspected, Mainly because they were in small crummy nation slightly bigger than Luxemburg in the Balklands. And they had somehow apeared in the middle of ruined city under heavy fire from both sides. Mr.Ilich opened his greatcoat slightly and slid his left arm in. He pulled out a lethal looking Cougar Magnum and then lept over the broken wall with ease. Ryoga ignored the screams of surprise and agony from the Victims of Mr.Ilich and poured over the map. He looked up for a moment, A sudden realisation in his eyes. "I forgot how much the I's look like ones!". He looked back down and poured over the map some more. A scream of Russian was heard behind the wall.  
  
Kasumi walked in with a basket in her hands and stopped. She noticed someone tied up on the table, struggling madly to get out of his bonds, While on one side Akane was watching and talking with Nabiki with Nabiki on the other. She then noticed Ranma getting up and rubbing his head. "Oh my, Whats going on here..?". Ranma shrugged wincing at his new friend, A bloody headache. "Just some gaijin who fell out of the sky...?". Meanwhile, Nabiki and Akane were still thinking who this gaijin might be. "A new croney for Kuno..?". "Nah, He's looks like his a brain. Or something in his head.". James fell off the table with a thump, Kasumi quickly put down her basket and pulled out a cloth from subspace, She then set to the task of drying the small puddle of water off the Tendo Coffee table. "Oh Akane, I do which you had used the Dojo instead of Fathers Table, He'd be so upset if it was damaged. On the ground James tryed crawling away like a Caterpillar, But one of the ropes that bound him got snagged on the corner of the table. "He's trying..attempting to get away.." said Nabiki. At that moment, The doors burst open and The Purple Haired Amazon, Shampoo rode in on her deadly Bicycle. James had rolled as soon as the front wheel touched the Screen door and landed on his stomach. "Nihao! Food for Ranma!". Akane turned her head. "Ranma!, You stupid Baka..we can't afford it!". "But I didn't order any food!' said Ranma. Then all eyes turned to the Giant Panda that had entered the room. Genma (The Giant Panda) held up a sigh, which said in Japanese. [I'll take it off your hands for you son..heh heh heh.]. "Satome, Are you done with the Phone now..?" asked a rather groggy Soun. "Panda call Shampoo, Say Ranma need some good food. Better food.". Akane glared at Shampoo, who glared back. "Pop's!" said Ranma, "What..?" said the sign. But before the usal Spar that ended with Ranma being dunked into the Koi pond, Shampoo glomped Ranma who's reaction was a sound that almost sounded like 'Bwaark!'. "Airen!, Shampoo so happy to see you!". "Ranma.." warned Akane. While this was going on, James had slowly recovered from the mild trauma of being ran over by a bicycle had released the bonds could not stand the might of Shampoo's Bike and he slowly began to crawl towards the shattered screen door. His confidance started to build it turned into a stumbling crouch and then a run. "Hey!, he's getting away!" said Nabiki. James broke into his famous 'Hell-or-high-water desperate run (TM and Patent Pending!) and then he tripped onto the ground. With the whole room catching up now, He did what any Gentle Gentleman was brought up to do. Burst into frustrated tears of confusion and no-hope.  
  
Mr.Ilich sat thoughtfully at a Coffee Cafe in Paris, On a table outside. He watched Ryoga, who was holding the open map of Tokyo in his left palm and pointing to what he asumed (Ilich) was Nerima. The Frenchman Ryoga had corned kept shaking his head, saying "Non! Non! Non! Je ne comprends pas le jeune homme! . Mr.Ilich looked around the Capital City's streets. Nice, He thought. They've repaired it quite well. Mr.Ilich had not been in Paris since the Ending of War in Europe, And last time he was there he got drunk with some British Infantrymen. Ryoga carefully trudged back towards Ilic, Avoiding a Bottle, which if he stood on he'd be in America. "The guy just ran off..not very polite..Not even directions to a travel shop..oh..free bread..". Ryoga reached out to get the breadroll on the table before it was snatched up by the black-gloved hand of Mr. Ilich. "Patience, Comrade. We must wait for the right person..patience..". "Hey! that's mine..!". Ilich spread butter of the bread and tossed to Ryoga who caught it perfectly. Then a Tourbus arived. "Hey!, Can I go and see the Eifel Tower..?..It'll only be a 6 minutes to get there.". Before Mr. Ilich could reply, Ryoga lept towards the Bus. Ilich exclaimed and grabbed the back of The Lost Boy's shirt and they both found themselves in Algeria. Ilich was starting to hate his luck.  
  
Then a Cat wondered in through the splintered Tendo house screendoor. Cat's could see many things everybody else can not, And it would never raise a eyebrow if it saw Battle Aura's or Ghost's. This Cat was just a thin slightly battered Alley-Cat that was drawn into the smell of Shampoo's cooking. James stobbing his desperate sobbing and looked at the Cat, It's colour was dull faded black and it had a slightly cynical look in his eyes. It reminded James of him in a way, But with paws and relaxed attitude towards Sex and casual violence. The whole room froze. Luckily for James because Ranma was getting ready for another skilled leap-kick. Ranma's left eye twitched madly and he started to babble softly. James watched the Alley- Cat clean itself and give up. It then looked at James and started to approach him with bored interest. It sat down, looking at James with Cateyes, Considering if it was Friend,thing or thoe. James slowly reached out with his hand, extended his index finger. The Cat extended his head slightly and sniffed the finger. James then moved forward abit and started to stroke the Cat. The Cat, who was enjoying the stroking immensely, purred. "C-c-c-CAT!" screamed Ranma, who jumped into the air and ran to the other side of the room and started to bour into the wall. "Quickly, Get rid off it!" came the reply from the rest of the room. There was a pause. "But the things starving..". "There's food there.." said Akane pointing to the Medium Aluminiun Box that Shampoo had delivered for Ranma/Genma, Which had been dumped casually on the table. James walked over to the table, garbbed the box and leveled it open with a Knife. He examened the contents for meat, Very minimal but there was some. He took 3 pieces and walked over to the Cat. He gave 2 pieces of meat to the Cat and lured it outside with the third. He came back in and bowed. There was a stony silence. "You know, You could of left after doing that." said Nabiki. James turned around. "Oh.... I really have to stop doing that.".  
  
Mr. Ilich swore, he was swearing because he lost again with Ryoga. Both had been walking for sometime North across The Sahara, Ryoga constantly looking at the useless map. There was also Two Vultures following them. Ilich removed a Loaded Automatic Browning Handgun from his greatcoat and fired. One Vulture was following them, Possibly taking note of it's dead comrades resting spot for later. Things can not get any worse now, thought Ilich. He then disapeared under a Sand Drift with a muffled yelp.  
  
James sat on the floor near the table and politely turned down the offer for Green Tea. There was an uneasy truce. Ranma was recovering from his 'Cat-Attack', Shampoo had left and Genma had taken the Chinese food and had barracaded the door to his and Ranma's Bedroom. They had all promised not to use Violence on the guest, But they wanted to know why he was here. "Well..?" asked Nabiki. "Oh sorry..". James had started telling them about his small Adventures, That had happend to him almost 3 hours ago. None of them made any comments about the Demon girl or raised eyebrows at James description of 'The violent Red-Golem with the silly name.'. James then explaned his story of landing here and his abduction, Carefully mentally editing the swear words out. When he had finnished the story, he decided to start telling them where he came from. This time the cries of 'That's Impossible!' or 'Your making that up' came. "Honestly, How can a Giant Turtle with five Elephant's..". "Four." corrected James. Akane shrugged. "Four it is, Fly through Space alone is implausable, But to tell us it is supporting a Giant Disc too..". Nabiki nodded. "I admit it does sound a little unplausable..". "How does it stay up..?" asked Nabiki. The response was almost mechanical, And this time it did raise a few eyebrows. "Magic.". Silence. "Uh, Kinda like when the Magician pull's the Rabbit out of the hat...?" said Ranma with acompanying gestures. James frowned. "No, Serious magic..like..like..". James mentally thumbed through his Memory of the Magic Spell's his friend, A former Student Assassin now a Student Wizard for the Unseen U had told him. "Like..Bugglesnap's Bloody Big Blast or Syphis Sychopantic Shock...those sorta things. Painfull things.". "Would you like some Green Tea..?" offered Kasumi.  
  
Soun Tendo staggered to the window and opened it. He squinted hazily down at the Yard infront of the Tendo's house. His head was beating like a Jackhammer and he swore never, ever, ever to go drinking with Satome again. Oh dear, I think I was sick several times.., he thought as a strange taste had become aparent in his mouth. Nothing could be worse, Noth... Then Soun spotted his Koi pond.  
  
People walking around the streets in Nerima looked up in the air, Blinking at the cry of agony and desperation.  
  
Ten minutes later, James sat the end of the Tendo Family table, Looking rather like his old self. Pale and slightly twitchy. On the Other end sat a rather angry Soun Tendo, On the right side of the Table The three Tendo Sister, Each with a Bemused Face more bemused than the last. On the left side a rather weary looking Ranma and stern looking Genma, Now back in human form. A plus-shaped vein was beating on Soun's forehead. "Master Sto- Helit, I am furious at the impoliteness of it all.". "But..". "Please be silent. Look at the damge you caused.". A Polaroid from Nabiki's Camera wizzed across the table and stopped near James. James leaned forward to look at it. It was a Birds-eyeview shot of the Tendo Koi pool, Or should it be former Koi pool. The water was Pitch-Black. James guessed the bumps were Koi. Cut-Me-Own-Throat-Dibblers dye could be pretty toxic to lower-Life forms. James guessed the dye in his hat did not help either. Then things typically got worse. "And this!..". Soun pointed to the shattered Screen door. "But..but that was not my fault!' said James floundered at the air with his hands. "He's right..the damage was done by Shampoo, Which Mr.Satome called.". "Satome!, You know well we can't afford it!.". Genma 's stance was broken and his eyes darted back and forth across the room. He then grabbed a tumbler of Cold Water from the table and poured hald it's contents onto him. James blank and twitched. Where Ranma's father was, A giant Panda sat instead. "Um. What just happend.?". "Ho, boy.." said Nabiki under her breath. James blinked. He was engulfed by confusion. So they each took turns explaining from the beginning how Ranma and his father got there curses.  
  
Mr.Ilich brushed the Sand of his Great-Coat and muttered sullenly, Near him Ryoga was looking around the Valley of Jusenkyo. "Hey..I recongnise this place!". Then the Guide apeared out of nowhere, Mr.Ilich was caught off guard and he screamed. Ryogo barely flinched. "Hello.." said Ryoga casully. "Welcome, Honoured guests, Please follow me to the exit.". "I asume you know Ryoga..?" said Mr.Ilich in Mandarian. The Guide nodded wearly, Nothing surprised him anymore. So Mr.Ilich and Ryoga followed the Guide down a twisting winding path, And came to area where the The many pools could be seen. "Interesting...can I go down there and take a quick peek..?". "Alright, Sir. But be very carefull.". As Mr.Ilich walked down towards the many pools, Ryoga turned towards the guide, Now with the infamously famous map and asked him if he could direct him to Nerima. Mr.Ilich who turned his head slightly to look back, then yelled "For God sake, Ryoga. Give it a re- AGGH!". Apparently Mr.Ilich did not notice a stone in the path and he tripped up over it, stumbled to the right and then fell into a Pool. Oh come on, You knew that was going to happen. The head of a human male burst out of the water spluttering. It had a small scar on the forehead, A 4 day old beard of stubble, a small handlebar Moustache and long greasy Dark- Brown hair. "What the hell!" screamed Mr.Ilich is Pseudo Russian and Mandarian. "Sir full into Pond of Drowned Foolish Drunk Cossack.." said the Guide in Mandarian. Then Ilich winced at the pain that shot through his head. "..That means Sir might have a permenent Hangover in this form.." continued the guide. "Great, This just vhat I vanted.." muttered Mr.Ilich in Russian. Then he tossed out his Greatcoat, Sodden clothes and an alarming amount of weapons. The Guide handed a towel to Mr.Ilich and Mr.Ilich climbed out the Pool of the Drunk Cossack and wrapped the towel around his waist. His figuire was wiry thin but thickly Muscled, and Just as Mr.Ilich flexed his arm Ryoga aproached with the dreaded map. "Hey, 'Scuse me. Can you tell me the way to Nerima, Tokoy..?.".  
  
The scream of agony was heard by Shampoo Amazon Village, Who decided to stay in for the night.  
  
Now James was the confused one. "Okay. And theres more of these people..?". Ranma nodded. "Yeah. For such a remote Mystical place, It has more Victims than a McDonalds Food Poisining Case.". James looked at the Ceiling thoughtfully. A Boy that turns into a Girl, A girl into a Cat, A male into a Pig, Another male into a Duck. Life is strange. "Is there any place where a poor bloke like me could get a job...?" he said wearly. Soun looked pleased. "Ah, So you are not going to run out on us. Good, Maybe you could retreave your and the Koi's Honor. Ranma, Nabiki could you find and take the Campbed to the dojo..?.". James blinked. Why did the word 'Campbed' some so ominous?.  
  
Mr.Ilich made sure the Greatcoat was secure and poured some Hot water over himself. It was nice to have the old body back. He handed the Kettle back to the Guide, Who was sitting on a rock with a Box next to him. Ryoko was wondering why Mr.Ilich had taken the dreaded but usefull map and tossed it into Pool of the drowned Parrot. He also wondered why he shot the Parrot, Stamped up and down on it's body and set it alight. "Here Sir, Take this.." said the Guide, who handed the Leaflet to Mr.Ilich. Ilich looked at the leaflet. 'So you've just been cursed for life!'. The title was in a bouncy Multi-Coloured font. Mr.Ilich just Sweatdropped. "I don't suppose there's a city nearby..?". "Nope. Amazon Village though, Wanna see that..?". "No.". Ryogo looked up in the sky and saw a Mallet shaped like a Cloud, And was wonderfully reminded of Akane. "Would Sir liked to fund "The Soceity of Jusenkyo cursed People..?..". "By how..?". The Tour Guide opened the box up next to him and pulled out a White T-Shirt with a picture of a Jusenkyo pool and bellow it a Sentence in the same bouncy font that said "I've been splashed at Jusenkyo!". There was pause. "How much..?". The Guide told Mr.Ilich who bought one. Ryoga saw the Shirt. "Can I buy 4..Make one Slightly-Small..?.". And The Guide doth supplied and Ryoga doth bought.  
  
James looked at the Campbed. It had been placed in a far corner in the Dojo, Ranma was sucking a skinned knuckle. "Well, There you go.." said Nabiki. "Uh, What is it..?.". "A Campbed, Idiot.". James looked at it again and felt a sense of forboding. He turned around and got ready to ask another question but Nabiki and Ranma had hurried off when they had the chance. It was obviously folded up, The thick futon was being crushed by the Metal Supports that supported the futon. It's legs had been pulled out, All James had to do was unfold it. But when he looked at the Metal Bracket, He instantly knew he need a crowbar. James walked foward and attempted to unfold the Campbed. There was a mighty snap.  
  
Soun looked up from his Shogi Board. "Nabiki, Could you get the guest out of the Camperbed...?".  
  
Mr.Ilich fell down on his knee's and praised the god's. The Australian's in the Airport looked at him oddly. In a record time he managed to Drag Ryoga through Jungles, Found a Car, Hijacked it and drove Carefully but slightly insanely to Beijing. Of course he had to Hijack several Cars, But the owner can't refuse when a Loaded Cougar was pointed at them. And now he was near Gate 45 Waiting for The Plane to Japan and Tokyo, Next to him Ryoga was reading a Translated Steele Novel. It had been a really eventfull day.  
  
James rubbed him arm. He lay on the futon, The Camperbed gloated in the corner. When Nabiki pulled him out, He'd clung on to the Futon. Darkness was starting to set in, And James then started to doze.  
  
Mr.Ilich dozed in Seat, Ryoga who sat at the window seat, was looking out the window and watching the clouds go by in Semi-Boredom. Neither of them or any of the Passenger were noticing the Stewards who were acting very Suspicious. Then most the Passengers knew they were acting Suspicous when they drew out gun's and hijacked the Plane. One of the Stewards kicked a serving Cart over and produced a Auto-Matic Pistol. Four other Stewards arived from the Small Kitchen at the back, where they just tied up the other Seward and Stewardesses. "Freeze! Hands up! This is a hijacking!.". "One of Steward's motioned to another. "Hey, Kai Are you sure there isn't anything thing like Cop's and Super Hero's aboard..?.". "Sure Chusenki.". "Good, This is my first Hijacking and I don't want to look like a 2-bit Criminal..". Then he noticed Ryoga and the dozing Ilich. "Hey! You two! I said hands up!.". Ryoko looked in the direction of Chusenki and nudged Ilich. "Hey, We have trouble..". Mr.Ilich laid there motionless, Ryoga frowned and got ready a Chi blast, Though he hoped he would be quick enough to take out all 5 Hijackers. He didn't want to get short, Seeing now they all had there weapons present. "Kai, Rough them up abit, And the guy on the right look's like someone with a little cash on him..". Kai moved forward ready to Pistol whipp Ilich with a Generic Hijacker covering him by pointing his gun at Ryoga. "This is gonna hurt me more than you..what the hell I don give a f-!!". Mr.Ilich gloved first rose like Torpedo from the Ocean and slammed in Kai's face, Vacating at least three teeth. "What the hell!". Ryoga threw his Chi blast at Kai's number two and knocked the poor bloke out and into some Rich-European Lady's Lap. "Well I never!.". The Lady pushed the Hijacker off her lap and stomped ungraciously in his face. Ryoga and Ilich were standing Back to Back. Ilich had Chusenki in his sight, Chusenki fired 4 rounds of his gun nervously. All shots missed, Mainly because Ilich had dived for Chusenki's Gun arm, Making him shoot a seat four times, and then broke the arm that the gun was held in professinally. Chusenki screamed damply and fainted. Ryoga had taken the other two hijackers out with Vicious kicks to the heads. "That's what you get if you mess with a Commando.." muttered Ilich two turned around and stepped into some cold water that had spilled out of a tubbler on the Serving Cart Chusenki kicked over. Then the entire 2nd class gasped. "Well I never!" said The Lady who instantly fainted. "Vhats ze matter..?..never zeen a Russian before..?" said Ilich. "Ryoga, Get my Trousers from the bag under my seat!.". Ryoga groaned. "Your going to have to pay me for this.".  
  
The new day began for James by being caught on the head by a piece of flying wood. He opened his eyes, winced and said "Ouch.". "Sorry!" called Akane from the other side of the Dojo. James rolled off the futon and managed to stand up. He aproached Akane. "Morning." she said. "Wsfgl..". "The Bathroom is that way.." Akane pointed. "And get Ranma up, Will you..? Tell him we have to go to School. James just caught the Pail of Cold water and blinked for a few moments to assess the situation. He then shrugged and stumbled out the Dojo, To the Dining Room Nabiki was eating. "Ranma's room is that way.." she said without looking up from her Rice Bowl. "Th'nk you.." mumbled the sleepy-Midned James, And he stumbled towards the direction Nabiki pointed. He faced the Screen door with the guest room, put down the bucket and quickly slid the door open. He spotted Ranma fused with the quilt of the futon, grabbed the bucket, Aimed and splashed the water. James just blinked when Ranma became The Red-Headed Blue-Eyed and Busty female known as Ranko or to Kuno "The Pigtailed Goddess". Ranko shot up, coughed and spluttered. "What the..?.." she said, staring at James. James finaly assembled his first sentence of the day. "Akane sent me to get you up and get ready for School..". "Yeah Yeah, I know.". James turned around and headed towards the Bathroom. Ranko shut the door and rumaged around the room for some dry clothes.  
  
At last things had calmed down on the Plane, Though Mr.Ilich was finding that the permenant Hangover that came with the Cossack-Form was, well, a pain. "Ryogo, verte iz your bag...?". Ryoga did not look up from Translated Stephen King and clumsily dragged his bag out from under the chair. "Asprin in in the main pocket, You have to rummage around for it.". Mr.Ilich bent down, Put the Blue duffelbag on his lap and unzipped it. He was met by a Pair of Lime-Green Feline-Ish Anime eyes. The thing that the eyes were attached to waved. Ilich zipped up the Bag. "Questions: 1:Vhere did you get zis bag..?..and 2:How big is it..?.". Ryoga looked up. "Bought it off some guy in The Airport, Said it could hold anything..why..?.". Ilich sighed. "No Veason.". Ryoga turned back to his book and Ilich winced as a pain shot through his skull, Forcing him to massage his Temples. He made note to blow up the Rich Womens Car, Using all the Hot Water for tea should be a crime.  
  
Ranma, Now back in male form again, Wolfed down his food As Akane waited by the door. "Come on Ranma, We're going to be very late. Ranma choked on some Rice, And then started eating again. Nabiki had already left without them and the clock was inching towards 9 AM at a Nerve-Wracking speed. "Come on, You baka.." muttered Akane. Ranma finnished. "Ready!". Akane looked up and praised Heavens. Who in return who promised her a good Morgage in another lifetime. Then James casully walked out the Shadows, Another Assassin's Guild Taught Talent. "Can I come..?". Akane mentally groaned. "I need to find a...". James tried to remember the title. "Ye Olde Jobbe Centar.". Akane frowned. "Nerima has several, Follow us.". "Oh, How nice of you.". Akane made a mental note, Ditch the annoying gaijin at the nearest Job Center.  
  
And Lo!, They left. James lagged behind Ranma and Akane, Wondering what job's could he do..?". Maybe there were Pub's here that needed a bouncer. He wasn't a troll but the Assassin's Guild Frightened everybody at home. It sure Frightened the Cyan-Haired Girl. Yep. She was laughing with terror. As James fed himself confident lies, Ranma walked under the window of the Old- Woman that always splashed her, And thus Ranma had a pail of Cold water tipped onto him. Enter Ranko. Ranko gritted her teeth and stomped as fast as she could to the corner and waited for the other too.  
  
Meanwhile. Kuno stood atop of a Roof of a Shop across the Street, Wearing his Brightest Robe. God knows why nobody could see him. He was on his way to School, And he had was looking forward the whole time untill he head the splash of the water and he stopped running forward, Turned around and saw The Lovely Akane Tendo and His Pigtailed Goddess. Kuno pulled a Pair of Binoculars from nowhere and scanned the three. He lingered slightly looking at Ranko's chest, Wondering why it was Wet. But he quicky returned the Binoculars from whence they came and struck a pose. "So the Evil Sourcerer Satome has created a Minion to escort my loves to his Evil Dominion..I shall decent and destory this minion and save my loves. Such a Genious plan, Heh. Heh. Heh.  
  
Back to the streets. Ranko trudged boredly on with Akane at tail, James lagged behind. "Almost there!" called Akane. James stopped and blinked. Akane and Ranko were both look cynicly at Roses that weren't there a minute ago. "Foul Demon!" called Kuno from the rooftop. James blinked. "Eh..?". "Evil Minion!". James looked around. "Me?". "Foul Black-Clothed Scumm Dweller!". " I beg your pardon!?" "Don't worry my loves, I shall save thee!". Ranko and Akane groaned. "Kuno, Go away!, We're going to be late!" snapped Akane. "Poor Fair Maiden!, What potion did the Evil Sourceror inject you with..?". Ranko growled. "He did nothing you annoying Freak!, Now get out of my way!". Kuno frowned. "You!" he said pointing at James. "Me?" "Fool!, Release there minds or die a pathetic death!". "What the bloody hells are you going on about?". Kuno smiled evily, "I have the stuff to destroy you, I will not waste my magnificent skills on your puny body, for it shall brake if I punch it. James frowned. "Now listen here..". "Fool!". Kuno threw a medium sized glass vial of Sake into James face. James howled in pain as the Sake splashed into his eyes. Akane shook her head and made a sympathetic sound and Ranko winced. The howling stopped and curses began. "What the bloody hell was that for, You stupid moronic Wanker!". "Hmmm, It seem's the holy Sake did not take effect. Very well, Mortal Combat it is!". "What! ". James lept back and almost fell on his arse. His vision still blurry and painfull from the Sake. Kuno produced his Bokken from his sleeve and slowly walked up to James. "You may have the first blow, Scum.". James eyes narrowed. He did not like this person, James liked almost everybody he met or at least got on with them. But having Sake tossed into your Face could make even the most timid person mad as hells. Kuno stood there waiting, James decided it was time to show this moron what Charles "3 finger Smudger" taught him. Ankh-Morpork brawling. With AM-Brawling there is no honor. The loser is lucky to go home with his teeth. The entire Scorpian House had been taught it. Scorpian House was Mainly Middle-Class and Lower-Class boys, And the Assassin's Guild had very limited views. Such as Scummy Classes learn Scummy fighting. James decided the time was to show this twat the baisics of AM-Brawling. He kicked Kuno, Very hard in the groin and slammed a pair of Brass Knuckles he had kept in his right pocket ever since he was 15. "Honorless Dog.." said Kuno breathlessly. There was a pause. "Why didn't I do that..?" said Akane. Ranko shrugged. James looked around for a puddle to wash his shoe in. "Foolish Cad, I'll get you!" cried Kuno, Who was then attacked by Crows and was chased off, Or hobbled off. "Uh, Who the bloody hell was that..?".  
  
The Jetplane number 246 of Beijing International Airport bounced gently on the Run-Way as she landed. As soon as the stairs were attached, The Japanese Police rushed aboard and quickly arrested the Hijackers, Then rushed back out. Nobody said anything about the Hero's, Because this sorta thing happen's every day. 5 Minutes later, Outside the Airport Ryoga stood there, waiting for Ilich with the Duffelbag in one hand, You could clearly see something was in the bag, due to the lump at the bottom. There was a dull blast from the Carpark and Ilich, Still in Cossack form and looking like a very smug bastard. "Alvight Ryoga, Open the bag.". "Why..?". Ilich almost facefaulted. "You can see something is in it!". Ryoga blinked. "There is..?". Ilich cursed his luck. "Please, Just put the bag of the ground.". Ryoga did so and Ilich aproached. Ilich quickly unzipped it and jumped back. The bag gasped and out lept, what Ilich thought was a normal girl. Then he noticed the Magenta Cat-Ear's, Tail and slightly longer and pointy Toe-Nails. He also noticed she was wearing a very thing Simple dress made of thin cloth that hugged her thin and lucious body, Highlighting her curves, All of her curves. Her breasts were not too Big, A big C cup..wait a second. Ilich rewound the description in his head. He'd released he'd never been so interested in a females figuire before. He looked down at his body and wished he bought some boxers. "Ryoga, Get me zum hot vater this instant!".  
  
"Okay, This is one of them. Bye!". Akane and Ranko ran off. James looked at the Job Center for a long time, Then swore. The Job Center's windows has been painted white, The sign removed and scratched into the paint was a sentence that will never be uttered anyware else. 'Close due to large lack of unemployment. James sighed and decided to search the street's himself. And Lo! for the rest of the day, James traped down the streets spotting one Job center every two hours. But sadly all the results were the same. By 2 P.M James gave up and decided to aimlessly wonder around. He saw some strange sights. An small old man bouncing along the pavement with a large sack on his shoulder that spilt female undergarments, being chased by a huge crowd of angry females, All weilding blunt objects. James then came across a 15 year old Japanese Male, Wearing the Furikin high male uniform and strange head-bracelet around his head that held candles. He was kneeling on the pavement drawing what James first thought was a Octogram but was disapointed to find an extra point. "Uh, Excuse me.." said James. Then the boy howled and covered the Pentagram. James blinked and sighed. Aren't there ANY sane people here..? he thought. "Excuse me...But what are you doing..?..And is there any more Job Centers around here..?". The last question had a hopefull aura dancing around it. "Eh..?" said the boy who looked up. The boy looked like he had not seen proper sleep for a month A look that reminded James of the day that all students at the age 14 had to disect a cute looking rodent. After his, James could not sleep for a Night. And poor 'Watcher' Travis, He had to be pulled down from the Guild Bell-Tower. "My name is Gosunkugi". "My name is James Sto-Helit.". James held out his hand waiting to receive a handshake. He got nothing in return. "Sorry, I have no money." said Gosunguki. "Uh, No..this is a..oh nevermind..". Gosunguki stood up and brushed the Chalk Dust off. "What I am doing is an ancient Voodo spell..blah blah blah blah..". James mind switched off. The topic of this Voodo was not as interesting at the magic back at home. You never needed to travel half a continent to get a root or a potion when The Magic Emporioum is across Sator Square, quoth a Student Wizard Friend of James. Gosunguki went on for five more minutes. Then the smell waltzed around the corner. James blinked. He released something was going to happen. Gosunguki stopped talking and paused."Strange, This is the longest period of time where I haven't been beatin' upm Attacked by Black Cat's or struck by lightning...oh god...maybe I shouldn't of said that..". The Smell's tiniest Molecules hit James nose. James moved forward violently, Knocking Gosunguki to the ground. "Hello! Wanna be my fried..?" he asked the smell. "Eh..?" said Gosunguki wearily from the ground. James looked down. "Whops, Uh, Sorry mate..um but you know..food call'eth that sort of thing, You can uh..Redraw that can't you.?". "Yeah, Sure.." said Gosunguki flatly. James blinked, stepped over Gosunguki, ran up the street and around the corner. Gosunguki slowly got back up. His first thoughts were revenge at the fool who had knocked him down when he landed on the ground, But all thoughts of Violence were long erased. For the first time in years Gosunguki did not feel tired, lifeless and psychotic. He looked down at his pentagram and blinked. It wasn't chalk anymore, It was red glowing runes. The Thaums inside Gosunguki buzzed Happily. "I have magic!" cried the young student. The threads of boy's and Girls walking down The Street Gosunguki was on, Crossed the road towards the other street.  
  
Ranma, Now in his male form walked on the wall next to Akane, Both looked weary, Another tiring day of school was over. "Man, Principal Kuno is a real weirdo.." said Ranma. "Uhuh..". Akane nodded aswell to seal the agreement. "I mean, listen to the accent, it's so f-". Then Gosunguki floated by in mid-air cheering and handing out small boxes of Chocolates. When he was done with the last student behind Ranma and Akane, he returned and laughed slightly psychoticly. "Guess what!". Akane and Ranma slowly looked at each other. Then Akane spoke. "What..?". "My dream's have come true..!, I know the secret's of the Black Art's!, I'm going to Vegas or that Place in Britain with a tower and going to do future shows! Wait! Is that more Students!". Gosunguki floated off North with more box's of Chocolates that apeared out of nowhere. "Akane.". "Yes..?". "Did a insanely happy Gosunguki just float by, gave us theese, And said he was going into show buisnees..?". "Can your imagination produce Belgian Chocolates..?" said Akane. Ranma shook his head. "Neither can mine.". There was a pause. "Well, That was odd." said Akane. Ranma nodded and the two set off for home once more.  
  
Mr.Ilich, Now back in his former Jusenkyo form sat infront of the Catgirl who was wearing his jacket in a McDonalds. He was already regretting letting Ryoga go out and attempt to buy the Orders. The Catgirl was not bothered by the surrounding's, She was busy napping off the Jet-Lag. Ilich was wondering if there was a payphone, After this experiance he was never going to order a guide again. Ryoga came back, His clothes tattered and his face was slightly scratched, But sucess!, He had the Food. 3 Chicken Burgers. "Man, You'd think Big Cat's would be friendly..". Ilich stood up and took the Tray from Ryoga. Ryoga carefully sat next to The Cat-Girl. "Hey, Vake up. Yoo-Hoo..". Ilich snapped his fingers and poked The Cat- Girl. The Cat-Girl yawned, Blinked and Sat up. "Hey is that Chicken I smell..?" she said. "FOOD!". The Cat-Girl attempted to seize the last Chickenburger but it was quickly seized by Ilich. "First we have some questions we have to ask you..?". "We..?" said Ryoga, who was still recovering his attack from a Lioness. "Oh alright. Me.". Then Mr.Ilich noticed the attension of the the entire McDonalds. He coughed and turned around ignoring them. "Now then miss, You get your Capitillistic made burger if you answer a few of our question's. The Cat-Girl nodded quickly. "One. Why do you know Japanese so well..". The Cat-Girl shrugged. Mr.Ilich made a dissapointed noise. "Two, Why were you in Ryoga's magic Duffelbag?". "You both have Jusenkyo aura's..now give me my food!" wheedled the Cat- Girl, Who, Like a Cat was jumping from emotion to emotion. "Aura's..?". Ilich looked at Ryoga for help. Ryoga sighed. He was wishing just to lie down, His Customer was getting on his nerves. So he explaned the aura. "So let me get zis straight..I have a aura..?". Ryoga nodded. "Everything does, Theres all sorts.". "Can I guess the colour...?". Ryoga nodded. Ilich nodded. "Red." "No Way!, How did you know..?". Ilich sighed. "Everything important to me is Red, Uh Miss..?". The Cat-Girl was starting obseesivly at the Chicken Burger. "Wha..?". "What is a Jusenkyo aura..?" said Mr.Ilich wearily. "Oh, Just a black edge around your aura..". "I see, And how come you know about Jusenkyo..?". "I don't know..cause maybe I fell in it..?". Ryoga and Mr.Ilich looked at each other for a moment. "Sorry, Continue.". "I was once a Little Girls Plushie...."  
  
The little girl looked at her reflection in one of the many Jusenkyo ponds. She put her plushie of a little Dragon down just near the pools. She kneeled down getting ready to touch the waters when-"Hobe-Sei!" shouted a concerned mother who was wearing a Kimono and standing near the guide. "Yes Mama..?". "That water is dangerous, Don't get too close.". The Child nodded and moved back slowly. She brushed her plushie that tipped backwards slowly and then with a 'splosh' fell into the water. "Get back quickly, Young Child!" shouted the Guide, Who then sprang forward, seized the young girl by the shoulder and dragged her back. Then a huge Tiger erupted from the Spring and leapt out ran towards the guide, Turned left slightly and then leapt off the footpath and then into another spring. This time a Purple Tiger striped Cat lept out and hissed before zig-zagging around the path area making the Mother, Child and Guide Sweatdropped. Then the Cat fell into the final pool. Then braking the surface of the pool is the body of the Cat-Girl that Ilich and Ryoga are currently talking too, Coughing and gasping. Then when the shadow fell on her, The Cat-Girl said her first word. "!". Okay, First Exclamation but you know what I mean.  
  
"..And then the guide took me in, Gave me some clothes and sent me towards that Amazon Village. There I learnt how to act human, Speak Mandarian and most important of all fight.". Ilich nodded. "Can I have some food now..?" said The Cat-Girl . Ilich gave her the Chicken Burger and then watched with stunned silence as she consumed it whole. "Mmm, Yummy.". Ryoga made a mental note, Never to harm a Chicken again. "Where are we anyway..?" asked The Cat-Girl. "Japan.." said Ryoga and Ilich. The Cat-Girl gasped and seized Ryoga, And then dragging him across the small table and then pointed at her bare left thigh. "Is this THE Japan..?" "!" said Ryoga. "What does it say..?". A look of seriousness flashed across Ryogas face. "It says, 'Made in Japan.". Ilich nodded. "That's answered some of our unanswered questions. I wonder if they do good Tea here..?".  
  
The Fat Bald Middle-aged almost Bankrupt Agent leaned back in his chair, Which creaked loudly. Oh great, He thought, Another Nutjob who thinks they have a magnificent Talent. "I'm telling you Mr.Yurakashi, I can do things you wouldn't beleave..!" said Gosunguki who was standing in the middle of the room. Mr Yurakashi frowned and then leaned forward. "You know what I see..?..A 15 Year old in a School Uniform that needs some sleep and a more normal hobby.". "You want proof..?". Yurakashi chuckled mentally. "Go on, I could do with a laugh.". Gosunguki bowed his head, Closed his eyes and clapped twice. The Small Dingy Office of Yurakashi grew four times the size, Water Sprung from a hole in the floor, Which was quite puzziling since they were 6 stories, Steam jetted into the air and the walls became Bamboo. Then Young Female Nymphs, Many of them looking suspiciously like Akane had also apeared and began to play in the Hotsprings. The Roof had become a wonderfull clearglass skylight showing the Sunset. Yurakashi gaped, Still sat at his Desk not noticing that he shoes were under the warm water level. Gosunguki was standing of a stool that had apeared from nowhere. "Also, If that is not enough check your Middle Desk-Drawer.". Yurakashi slid open the Drawer and gasped. Last time he looked in it was a pack of cheap soggy Cigarettes and some small change, Instead there was many thick bundles of 10,000 Yen notes stacking neatly beside each other. And ontop of the Neatly stacked notes was a Box of the finest Cuban Cigars. Yurakashi blinked, Pinched himself twice to make sure this was all real (Although the Warm Water in his Shoes could have vouched) and then let his special Agent sense take over. He opened the box and took out the Cigar, Put it in his mouth and searched for a lighter to light it. He patted his pockets for awhile and then Gosunguki snapped his fingers. The Cigar was lit with an inrush of air and a popping sound. "Okay Kid, Heres your choices. You can either start from the bottom and be a lounge Entertainer and take a chance at the Big Time as soon as possible..". Gosunguki blinked. "I'd like to start small...see what I could do..give me time to think of even more entertaining tricks.". "Alright Kid, Picture this..A small Sake bar in the South of Tokyo, Then in less that three months!, Vegas, Broadway, Soho and Blackpool!". Gosunguki's eyes lit. "Blackpool!, Really!". "The world is your Oyster Kid! But first we need to get some decent stuff for the both of us..get those to put some proper clothes on and a bag for the money. We're hitting the streets!". Gosunguki's dream was about to come true.  
  
Ukyo sighed as she handed the Fifhtieth Okonomiyaki to a middle aged man who bowed, Payed her and left quickly for a table. She sighed. The place was only had Thirty people in it, Not nearly the max amount. How she wished she could serve more customers and get there Okonomiyaki there faster. Earlier on she put up a sign saying 'Wanted Staff-Please apply within.' on her shop window. The morning had passed by sluggishly, Then at 2 PM she got a rush of customers. She was now starting to struggle with the orders. Then A young scraggily looking Gaijin walked into the Okonomiyaki Resteraunt. Ukyo noticed he was wearing mostly black clothes, Feeling slightly alarmed she made sure she could get easy acess to it if trouble started. The gaijin aproached the counter, he was looking around still registering his surroundings. "Um. Can I help you, Honorable customer..?" asked Ukyo. The gaijin coughed polietly. "Yes, What is that smell..?.It.. .smells delicious!". Ukyo beamed with pride. "Oh that's my Okonomiyaki, You can buy some if you like". James blinked. "I don't have any money. But do you know any place where they might be hiring...?". "Oh, Did you not notice the sign..?..we're hiring" "Really..?". "Can you do small menial jobs like washing up and cleaning windows..and wait..?". James nodded. "How much is the pay..?". Ukyo pulled out a Calculator and tapped a few keys. "8,000 yen a month, You may get bonuses and keep tips". James smiled. Sounds easy. "Count me in.". Ukyo tossed James a plain white white unisex apron. "Your shift starts now". James was astonished at the speed of the plates that were thrown at him, But he clumsily caught them. An hour later James had come to hate the word for Waiter, Internationally.  
  
Outside the McDonalds, Ilich, The Unamed Cat-Girl and Ryoga stood near a Payphone. Ilich put the receiver down. "A Taxi is coming for us, I'll pay". Ilich turned to Ryoga. "How much will you will accept..?". "Weeeel, You can buy this duffelbag and call it quits. Thanks for the hat you bought in Australia..". Ilich mentally shuddered. He almost got trod on by a Kangeroo. "How much for the bag..?". "2000 yen would be enough, It has a small rip in it anyway.". Ilich handed the Yen over and Ryoga gave him the battered looking Duffelbag, And then took the money. "Well, Goodbye, It's been fun. I'm off to see Akane.". Ryoga turned around and walked off. Ilich turned around and met the stare of the Cat-Girl. "Okay. Let me guess, You have nowhere else to go, So you are sticking around with me..?". She nodded. "You need a name, Miss". The Cat-Girl looked distant for a moment. Then looked at the Tatooed label on her arms. "Urirama Toy Corparation.." she muttered. "Pardon..?". "Uri!" declared the Cat-Girl. "My name is Uri.". Ilich nodded. "Good, Now Miss Uri if you ARE Planning to stay with me..we better get you some real clothes..it's getting cold already". Uri shivered. It was true, It was almost 5 PM and the sun we beggining to set. Then the Taxi arived and Ilich carefully herded Uri into a Car for the first time. Bet's on a disaster happening..?  
  
The door of Ukyo's Okonomiyaki swung open as Ranma and Akane walked in. "Man I'm hungry, Those Chocolates don't fill you up at all!". Akane looked annoyed. "Even if you had half of mine..?". "I toldja Akane, I'm a growing boy. I need things like protein and Stamina to keep me healthy.". "Ranma you Idi-" Then James popped up from nowhere making the both of them scream. "James..what the hell are YOU doing here!" stated Akane. "You know the jobcenters..?..It's amazing. They've all been closed because of lack of unemployment.". "Really..?..They were open a week ago.." said Akane. "So how much do you get at this job..?". "8,000 yen a month, But I've gotten 700 just to stop apearing out nowhere and scaring some Customers.". Ranma nodded and walked over to his stool. "Hey Uk-Chan.." "Hello Ran-Honey..I've prepared an extra five for you, You look really hungry. "Waiter!" demanded someone. "In a sec, How much does your father need to buy new Koi..?". Akane thought for a minute. "They're 5000 Yen each, He's gunning for 8 Koi Max. James stood stock still. He heard the wind wistle sadly for a moment. "Waiter!, hey WAITER!". James groaned. "Kill me". And then James wondered off towards the table of the demanding customer. Akane walked towards the counter and sat down on the stool near Ranma. "One Sushi Okonomiyaki please.". "I take it you've met our New Waiter" said Ukyo. "Met him..?, We provide free board and room. He's strange isn't he..?". "Depends on what you mean by strange...he told me he was from a place called Ankh-Morpork..". "It gets stranger...". Akane told Ukyo about what James called the Disc. "No way! Do you think he could be mad..?". They both looked at the waiter being polite to another customer. "Could be, At least he's polite to the customers". James faked a smile at one of the Customers annoying Children. "So why are you giving him free R and B..?". Akane sighed. "He fell into the pond, Killed some Koi with some cheap clothes dye annd then made a watermark on Fathers table.". "Have you told him about the table..?.". "No" "That's wise".  
  
Ilich knocked on the door of the Privite Room in the Japanese Resteraunt. His contact had told him to come here, Mainly because of the food. Oh and Privicy but mainly the food. "Please Enter" said a voice inside. Ilich slid the door open entered the small room and slid it closed. "Nice to see you again, Did you enjoy the food I sent you?". Ilich paused for a moment. "Not really, But it was a nice thought". The person who spoke made a annoyed noise. Ilich turned around. There was a girl, Aged in her Mid Twentys kneeling at one end of the table. She wore unusal clothes. Very unusal. She had A Tanktop made of Iron, Chainmail Hot-Pants and long Aluminuin plated Thigh High boots. Her hair, which was black and short, had a Chain Rapped around a tuff on the back. "Greetings, Miss Benten" said Ilich politely. Benten nodded. "Have you tried the food here anywa- of sorry, Forgot." Ilich shook his head. He had known Benten for years, Someone he had queerly walked into during a quick Assasination for his Goverment in '88. Not surprisingly they both fired shots at each other and missed, The Bank however was not so lucky. It lost one of it's original Walls that day. "Hey, Sit down." said Benten. Ilich sat awkwardly at the other end of the table. "Seem a little quiet for someone thats been locked up for 11 years and finaly free'd?". Ilich shrugged. "It's been a crazy week". Benten nodded. "Hey, Is that a Browning 9mm Pistol you have?" asked Benten. Ilich produced the weapon and placed it on the table. Benten picked it up and shifted her position. "Nice, You got any other weapons?". Ilich placed a Cougar Magnum, A battered looking Kalishnikov and a even more battered looking Cavlary Kligenthal sword. Benten took each of the gun and emptyed the Clips and bullets from them. "Been busy, I see..?" she said holding the AK47 Clip. It was missing 8 bullets. "Not really, I haven't killed anyone apart from a bird". Benten blinked. "I'm only doing this 'cause I owe you 'kay". Ilich nodded. Benten slotted the Clips back into the Guns and Ilich scooped up the Magnum bullets and put them in his pocket. Benten then pulled out another Duffelbag from nowhere and put it on the table. The table started to creak. "You'd better use these for good only." prompted Benten. "What, You'd make me promise..?". Benten smiled sweetly. "Can you say 'No I won't kill anyone' to this face?". Ilich considered it. "No.". Benten sighed and shook her head. "Have you got a piece of clothing I could wipe my prints off with these things?". Ilich handed her the pair of trousers he always kept with him. Benten opened the Duffelbag in a carefull motion and removed off the Weapons inside, And wiped them down. She handed each one to Ilich, Who took them and hid them inside his Greatcoat. "I hope you'll aprechiate the fact I went into the most dirty dingy Gun Stores to get these. And I got groped by a pervert.". "I trust that you sent him on his merry way in your own fashion?". "I broke his jaw.". "Ah". "I was hoping the promise would be enough to pay for these, And 'Yknow the bond of Friendship but I think I can take this..". She picked up the Browing and Ilich made a noise of a kicked Puppy. "Aw, C'mon. Pleeeeeeeease!". Ilich sighed. "Fine.". Benten took the Browning and hid it in Subspace. There was a sweet little silence. "I don't suppose you could pay my bill as well?" said Benten. Ilich facefaulted.  
  
It was almost Six Oclock. James trailed Tiredly after Ranma and Akane. He was actually wishing he could do those tiring Practice Runs again. You know, Get Grappling hook, Climb quickly under the threat of a Rubber Crossbow Bolt hitting you, Untangle the knot in our grappling hook, and of course panic. James was hoping his Father would work hard enough to get some sort of title from the Patrician, As well as The All-Family pension to go with it. He also hoped his Older Brother Richard would die, But these wishes would sadly not be true. As they entered the Tendo Garden, James had the mind to turn around and shake his first at the now empty Koi pond. As the door of the Tendo house was slid shut by Akane and as James headed for the Dojo, hoping that his small collection of Ankh-Morporkian Litriture had dried off, he was confronted by Nabiki. Oh god's, now what? he thought. "What is this?" she asked. It was asked in the same way as a Child would point at a piece of Roadkill and ask it's parents what was it and of course, What had it been. She was holding a purple piece of paper that James had never seen before. It had been folded up into a small square, And she held it between her index and 3rd finger. James quickly snatched out of her fingers with astonishing speed and skill. He then opened it and read it.  
  
JAMES YOUR MOTHER GATHERED THE FAMILY AT THE UNSEEN UNIVERSITY AND WE ALL HAD A  
BRIEF DISCUSSION ABOUT THIS QUEST THEY SENT YOU ON. THEY KNEW YOU WERE  
GOING TO FAIL, SO WE ALL COMPROMISED A BACK UP PLAN. WE'VE SENT YOU OF THIS DIMENSION, THIS WILL GIVE YOU TIME TO DESTROY THE OBJECT THEY WANT.  
WE'VE ALSO GIVEN YOU TIME TO PREPARE, BECAUSE THEY CAN GO THERE TOO. DESTORY IT QUICKLY, THE DISC'S FATE LIES IN YOUR HANDS. IT ALWAYS LIES IN  
SOMEONE'S HANDS, JUST DON'T DROP IT.  
  
And under that was a Omega sign, James did not have to guess who wrote this.  
  
P.S:YOUR MOTHER SAYS "wash behind your ears." James sweatdropped. "Well?" said Nabiki. "It's a family letter, for me.". Then James noticed Nabiki was wearing a stone ring and he promptly fainted.  
  
Gosunguki adjusted the Red wine Bow-Tie he was wearing. Infront of him was the stage, A real stage. With the Huge Red drapes and everything. He was wearing a Sparkly Jacket as well, A little to garish. He would of gone with something a little bit more modest. But that didn't matter, for it was his first show. Behind him was an equally garished up Kart full of all the stuff he needed for his Voodo magic. The time was 6:05. Four hours ago, he was Gosunguki, A 15 year old Love lorn failure at everything. Now he was a First Class Magition with his own Apartment, Audiance and a small Fanclub of Girls he created. "And Now! For the first time ever, Please Welcome the Phoenix Theatre's very own proffesional Magician, Magical-Gosunko!". There was a round of applause, And then Gosunguki stepped onto the stage (Stage- Hands pushed the Kart behind him) and observed his Audiance. It was mainly Married Couples between 26 and 45, Plus a small group of Drunken Salarymen. Gosunguki took a deep breath and pulled an Elephant out from his jacket. And that was just the starter.  
  
Tokyo Mall was a huge bulding for a huge Populace. It had Shop for almost everything. Even a Shop for Flags. And Ilich was heading there to pick up Uri, He dropped her off here earlier on after explaining the Exchanging System of buying wanted Items and gave her a very large amount of Cash. But Ilich is not in this Paragraph, At least not at the moment. In the very Center of the huge bottom floor was many fountains. On the 13th Fountain Sat a Man in an Overcoat trying not to look suspicious. Which is quite hard to do, When you're wearing an Overcoat. Nearby there was some Children playing with Marbles and eating there lunches in there bentos. The Overcoated man, himself had a Bento beside him. Five minutes passed and then Overcoat placed two small metal Spheres in the bento next to him. However, It was not the Bento he was meant to put the Spheres in. Mainly because he forgot his Bento was on his left and a Child's Bento was on his right. Overcoat, His mission done, got up and left the Mall. One of the Children walked up to the fountain and looked hin his Bento. He then removed the two Metal Spheres and made a confused sound. Another child aproached him. "Hey Morobishi!, Where did 'ya get those Marbles?". Morobishi shrugged. "Lets go back and try them out!" said Morobishi. The two ran off to join the others. A moment later Ilich walked bye, Waiting for Uri to apear. He watched a Security Guard run by him. "Hey! Hey! You Kids! No playing with Marbles in the Mall! Hey!". All the Children Scattered, Some laughing delightedly others more seriously deciding to vacate. Ilich walked over to the 13th Fountain and spotted the Marbles. A charming little games that will finaly fade way in five or six years time..." thought Ilich. And then he spotted the 2 Spheres in the middle of the normal scattered lot of Marbles. Odd, They do Neo-Metal ones now? thought Ilich. Ilich bent down quickly and scooped them both up. He then walked towards another area of Fountains. Five Minutes later another Man in an Overcoat walked towards the 13th Fountain, Stepped on and crushed some of the Marbles, And found the Bento where the first Overcoated man should have put the spheres. And then he swore in French.  
  
Ilich was watching the water of another Fountain when a cry brought him to attension. Umi ran down the aisle of Fountains and skidded to a hault infront of Ilich. Ilich noted with much alarm the clothes she was wearing. She was wearing a Tight Yellow T-Shirt with some logo on it, A Pair of Black Tight Leather shorts (What the American's called Hot-Pants) and some classy looking trainers. She had her long Pink-Hair cut, It was now short and the length was just about under the ears. "Like the hair?'. "Um. It's very nice". She grinned. "They even had a Specialised Pair of these so I could fit my tail through them. Hey, What-cha staring at?". Ilich snapped out of it. "Um, You look very nice..." "Kawaii?" said Uri hopefully. "Um. Yes, But..frankly how do I say this?. Your nipples are visable. Uri looked down. "And?". Ilich figgited. Never had anything had been so awkward in his life. And then she handed him a small paper bag to him. "Here's your money back!". Ilich looked blankly into the bag. "Uri, This is THRICE the amount I gave you.". "Neat, Isn't it? I handed them your money and took there's from that Till-Thingy..". Then the Security Guards came around the corner. "There she is!" yelled one of them. Uri stuck her tounge out at them as they advanced. Ilich sensed they'd be some action and decided to move away from the Fountains, You could get arrested if you wore No trousers in a public place. The Guards, Now with handcuff were almost near Uri. Then Uri lept, Landed infront of one and punched him into the air, And then quickly roundhoused one into a distant fountain. This action bough the attension of the group of Men, Women and Children around the fountain. Uri landed, her chest bouncing slightly. Then she got applause from a large group of men and a small group of Women. Delighted with the applause she started to jump up and down in the air in short jumps, squealing "Look at me!". Ilich groaned, She was just like a Cat. Except Cat's never wore revealing clothes and never bought trouble. He noticed More Security Guards ariving and grabbed Uri's arm. "I think it's time to say goodbye now!". Uri made a dissapointed noise. Ilich ran for the door, leaping the last fountain in an impressive leap, Bonus points for still holding onto the staggering Cat- Girl.  
  
James came around, And he knew instantly he was on the floor. He had been revived by Kasumi flapping a small fan in his face. "Thank you.." said James weakly as he got back up to his feet. "How long have I been out?" Nabiki was leaning against the table with a bored look on her face. "'Bout five minutes..". James groaned and steadied himself against the wall. "Oh dear, I don't suppose you'd like a glass of water?" asked Kasumi. James declined and Kasumi nodded, removed a feather duster from nowhere and continued to clear the dust from the table. "Um. Why did I faint again?". Nabiki showed him the ring on her third finger. "Oh dear, I don't suppose I could have that glass of water now, Please?" Kasumi stopped her cleaning and rushed quickly towards the Kitchen. "Where did you get that!". "I found it amongst your stuff.". James mentally realed. "You went through all clothes?". "And that backpack.". "That's rude!" "Who's staying in this house?". James paused. "Oh". Kasumi arived with the glass of water. James drank it and handed the glass to Kasumi. "Thank you.". Kasumi smiled and took the glass and placed it on the table. Nabiki sighed. "I'm not keeping it, If thats what you mean.". James sighed and relaxed a little. "But when I put it on, It glowed an odd green colour.". Thump. This time James passed out and did not wake up for an hour.  
  
Another day dawned on Nerima. The news was wizzing around the District. That a certain student that lived here had became a Super-Star overnight, As well as more sinister news.  
  
It was a dark black chamber, And inside it was three Auditors. It's hard to explain what an Auditor looks like, Because mainly they don't look like anything at all. They are celistial bodies. They do wear something to stand out, Mainly to avoid confusion. What they wear is just a plain Grey Robe with the Cowels up. The main objective of the Auditor is to destory all things fleshy and exciting. They seem to think Animals and Humans are not a necacity, more of a destructive plauge. Infact only people can stop the Auditors, Death, they're main enemy or the Auditors own boss Azriel. Now the Auditors were not mifferd, they are not allowed Emotions or else they will burst into flames. Only Humans and Animals may have emotions. Anyway, They could have been miffed if they were alowed emotions. #Brothers, The ring has been detected at last# said the first Auditor. Now, The ring. Yes I know the whole Evil-Rings-Worn-giving-people-powers conceipt is annoying and now overdone, But shut up a minute and let me explain about the ring. It's not THE stone ring it's-self, But the small stone that holds the power. And this power fuels a spell that can not only Destory the Discworld but any Parrel or Parasite Dimensions around it. The words are Mori Mori Undante. The Auditors created it themselves but clumsily lost it. And after a series of incidents it ended up in James hands. #Where is it?..Does the Great Grandson of HE still have it?#. #No. We must attept to recapture it. Send them immediatly.#. #We shall crush him at last!# said the 3rd Auditor. And then the third Auditor burst into flames and vanished. A few seconds later a new Auditor, looking exactly as the other two arived. #Let us commence..# it said. Auditors were not allowed to have personality. Because thats what makes they're World a bad place.  
  
Uri yawned and lept out of bed, pausing only to remove her nightdress and headed towards the bathroom. "Morning Ilich-Kun!" she called. Ilich was in the Living room of the Hotel mulling over a Map of the Nerima District. The sond of a tap was heard, It was Uri getting the large Japanese bath read. Ilich stood up and walked towards the door. "I'm going out, Uri-Chan..Might be for awhile". Uri poked her head out of the Bedroom door. "Don't forget to pick up me some Manga's okay?". Ilich nodded and Uri smiled. Ilich left the Hotel room and walked towards the lift.  
  
James walked out the back door with a big of Rubbish, and headed towards the dumpster. He felt slightly jumpy today, Nabiki was wearing the ring. He was fully armed once more, expecting Auditors or something to jump out the shadows and attack him. He had left early and met no problems except a Pick- Pocket, who learn't the Assassin's Guild law #1. He'd also learnt how sharp a Dagger can be. He quickly spotted the Dumperster and tossed the Rubbish Bag's in. He knew something was going to happen. He turned aroud looked out the alley-ways mouth. Nothing. He blinked again and there was a Thief holding a gun up to head. "Hands up!" "I don't think that's possible. I can only work them". The Thief sighed. "What I mean by hands up is 'put your hands up in the air' is raise your arms in the air in a position if I can see them.". James did so. He always followed people advice. "Now, I'm going to say this simpily for your conviniece..give me all your cash or I'll implant lead into your guts." Just like home, Thought James. "What happens if I don't have any money?". The Thief pulled back to cock of the gun. "Then I'd either shoot you or force you to take some from the till from the shop next to us..and since I don't want to spend the rest of my life in embarassing situations in Prison showers, Go next door if you value your life...". James blinked. "I hope you'd like to reconsider". "Why?" "Most people do when they have someone quite strong behind them. The Thief turned around and saw Ranma in his female form. "Wah?". "Happy Landings" said Ranma cheefully and gave the Thief a nasty uppercut that threw him very high into the air and into the amosphere. James watched the Thief's acent and gave him a perfect 10 for the scream.  
  
Mr.Ilich was strolling down the street like a character in a cheesy Victorian Love-song, Hands in his greatcoat pockets when he saw something fly down from the sky. It was the Thief's Gun. Ilich caught it easily and examined it. "Ooh. A Berrata. Nice" He then checked the gun's clip for ammo, Which was halfway full. He then slotted the clip back into his gun and opened his greatcoat. After he had stored the Berreta, Ilich continued down the street walking towards his destination.  
  
"Thanks again for saving me." said James. 'No problem." Ranko replied. "I was just waiting for Akane around here when I saw that guy. Lucky, huh?". James nodded. "I've got to tell Ukyo about this, maybe she'll cook up something special for you." The yippe was heard all around Tokyo.  
  
Meanwhile, across the street in a tattered grey stained overcoat was someone watching. "He's right across the street.." it hissed. #Is her armed?#. "No, No weapons I could see..". #Excelent Farszak..you'll get your...Farszak?". Farszak couldn't hear the Auditor, Mainly because he was hit by Shampoo's bike and sent down the street and into a wall of a shop. She was panting, tired of the quick dilveries she had just made (The exact time, Delivering 34 Seperate meals to 12 houses and a Apartment was 8 minutes and 20 seconds, And she never even left the bike). She was obviously tired and very annoyed. None of the Clients had gave her Tip. They ignored the fact that she had crossed half of Tokyo Via bike leaving ruins of devastation and destruction. She turned her head and saw to her surprise and anger that that gaijin at the Tendo house was flirting with Ranko.  
  
Ranko was bent, laughing her head off. James wondred what she/he found so funny. The joke he told was one of the ones that float around the Universe, Mainly entered A Drunken Students head at the Pub. He sighed and started to tell the joke again. "A Morporkian, A Klatchian and a Quirmian walk into a pub..". Someone tapped James on shoulder. James turned around and was looking in the eyes of a pissed off Shampoo. His releasation of what was going to happen was very quick. "Please gods no!, At least not the face!". "Uh, Shampoo.." said Ranko. It was very fast. Ranko blinked a couple of time and saw Shampoo trip James up and started to kick him up into the air like a ball and then smartly into a open Rubbish- Can. James had been kicked over 300 times in a startling 10 seconds. His clothes started to smoulder. "There..Airen should not be worried.." said Shampoo. "What the hell?". All this was a very confusing moment, And in the darkest corner of the Back of the Okonomiyaki Resteraunt a Cigarette was lit. "Now, that has got to hurt." The Rubbish-Can groaned. "Um. Who are you?" asked Ranko. "I am.." The swell of Violins as the music starts to swell, and as the dark shrouded figuire stepped forward there crunch and then a surprised dying Squeak. "Um, You stepped on a Rat.." said Ranko. Romuski "Nurdbot" Travishek, hopped around swearing in violent Russian and groping for a hankerchief to clean his foot-cuff. Then his Greatcoat opened, and everyone in the alleyway minus James saw what the Robot was armed with. Rapped around Romuski's Rubbish-Can waist was three Bandolear's, The bottom one Had a Sword Scabbard attached, containing an 18th Century Kligenthal Sword as well as a line of Bolt-Action bullets, A Box of Cartridges for a missing Browing and in the Brownings holster was the Berrera. The second Bandolier was mainly full of Bolt-Action bullets, Clips for Auto-Matic Weapons and a Bayonet pouch containing one Bayonet. The Final Bandolier was larger than the other two and was wrapped around the waist and across the Robot's Torso. This one contained a couple more Clip's, Some Grendades and were the Sash and waist Bandolier met, was a Bowie Knife. Two weapons, Were on his back Via Shoulder straps, The Straps crossing eachother. On his right shoulder was a Lee-Enfield Bolt-Action Rifle. On the Left was a battered looking Kalashnikov. Romuski followed the stares. "Vhat?..Never seen a Red-Communist Robot's Arms before?'. Shampoo and Ranma looked at each other. "No.".  
  
The Auditor looked at it's small Platoon of Zombies wrapped in tatty looking Robes, Each issued a Wizards Stick with NO Knob on the end. They'd been once humans, Suduced by Madness. Easy people to find in the Discworld. Other were temped. They were the Unit of thr Auditors, Or "Branch" as they liked to call them. They knew there Target, And what to get. #Follow#. And they did.  
  
Shampoo had seen some strange things in her time. People changing Genders by Water, Her Grandmothers powerfull Martial Art's Techniques (Which are quite amazing for someone at the age of 300) insane people like the Spatula girl, But this one topped today's Menu. She heard the conversation the two were about to have with Ranma, Some word she couldn't understand, Mainly because they weren't Japanese Originated. But she understood the baisic's of the Conversation.  
  
Romuski walked towards the Rubbish-Can. He knocked on it Politely. "Good Morning, This is the Milkman." "Piss off!" came the echoed reply from the Rubbish-Can. "Your Mother would wash your mouth out with Soap and Water with that kind of attitude and language.." mused the Russian Robot. "Yeah, Well You didn't get the shite kicked out of you. Ooh. What day is it?". Romuski pulled a Old-Fashoned brass pocketwatch from his Greatcoat. "It is Wensday, the 11th of June 19--". There was a pause. "Blank-Blank?". Ranko interupted. "I'm pretty sure it's 1989..". "Yes, Shampoo thinks it is 1989 also..". Romuski snapped the Watch shut and put it back in his Greatcoat. "Well, My watch seem's to have stopped.". "Anyway, Do you know the Chap you met in Siberia?". "Oh you mean the Sod who stole my robe and left me to die in the cold, why?". Romuski kicked the Rubbish-Can, hard. "That person it me!, Idiot.". "Oh". Said James Appologeticly. "I don't suppose you could help me out of this Can-Thingy?". "Maybe I don't want to" sulked Romuski. "Oh please, I'm starting to get Claustophobic in here!" said James. Romuski solved the problem by kicking the Can onto the ground. "Um. Thank you. Ouch..".  
  
After a brief apology and offer for a free dinner at the Cat Cafe, which James politely refused, Bur what really upset his was his clothes that smoulderd, he'd been attached to them for quite awhile. He set off towards the Tendo residence. He turned around and noticed Romuski following him. "Okay..why are you following me?". Romuski threw something at him. James caught it clumisly. To describe what if was, you'd have to soak your own socks with cold water and leave them in a Freezer for 3 days. "What the bloody hells?". Romuski threw his cigarette onto the pavement. "Your Robe..I kinda left it outside a shop in Siberia.". James tried to unfold it, he broke one of his nails. "Um. Thanks.". Yippe, he thought. Now he had to carry this around. "I have to thank you as well.." saod Romuski. The Robot took another Cigarette from a pocket in his greatcoat and lit it, then wedged it in the glass mouth. James would get dizy if he tried to think of all things thing he'd seen so far that'd be a big No-No to Physics in The Disc. "If you hadn't smash that old lock and activated my senses, I would be collecting dust untill the world ended." James blinked. "No problem..". "Hey, Do you need a person who knows the whole of Asia and Europe like the back of his hand?". James blinked. "Well. Yes. Actually. Whats your pay?". "I have enough cash as it is.". The two set off towards the Tendo house.  
  
Kasumi opened the door and blinked. Another strange person had joined the current guest. The person in question had to duck slightly to go through the door. Nurdbot's exact size was 6 foot 2. James was 5 foot 4. Kasumi started worrying. "I'm sorry but we haven't got enough food for you bo-". The Greatcoat was removed and she saw a tall Russian Robot wearing a Large buttoned up Light green jacket and a Tall Furry Hat with a Red Star on it. She froze. Romuski and James looked at eachother. "Uh, Miss Kasumi..." said James. "Whats the matter with her?" hissed the robot. "Forgive her, I don't think she's seen something like you before.". "The other girls acted all- right when they saw me..and you.". "Yes, Because they go out more than she does..". Kasumi finaly reacted. "-od.". She blinked. "I don't need to eat miss, the offer was kind enough.." entoned Romuski graciously. Kasumi nodded and slowly backed out looking pale. "I know I shouldn't of brought you here.." muttered James. Romuski was very imtimidating, even when unarmed and acting polite. There is something about him that's orders you to be quiet of he'll rip out your spine and use it as a Skipping-Rope in a Macho way. James placed his frozen robe on the ground near his shoes and walked towards the dining room.  
  
Akane was finding the excuse hard to chew. "So the reason you were late coming home is, because you saw a armed 7 foot tall Robot behind Ukyo's.." said Akane skepticly. "It was 6 foot.." corrected Ranma. Akane ignored this. "Ranma you Baka!, I told you I was making cookies..but they crumbled up to dust be acident before you got here, And to add insult to injury you got and spend almost an hour at Ukyo's stuffing yourself with Okonomiyaki!". Ranma knew what was coming. He felt it. He knew he should of shut up right there, apologised and groveled but something insisted that he'd keep going. "But Akane, it's true!". Akane's Mallet had apeared once more from nowhere. "Ranma NO B-!". The door slid open and James stepped in, followed by Romuski. The room froze. "Oh. Sorry..are we interupting something?". The Mallet slid from Akane's Grip and bounced onto the Table. Romuski sighed. "If this was going to happen all day, maybe he should stick to wearing the greatcoat. The silence was broken bu Ranma. "See!". Akane finaly unfroze and then double-taked. "No way! That's impossible! Technology hasn't got that far! even down here!". "Military Technology can, miss.". Kasumi walked in from the Kitchen. "So..I see you've met our new guest.." said Kasumi. "Ah, This must be the place Ryoga told me about". Akane and Ranma looked at each other. "Ryoga?!". "He was my guide for a day..Took me places I haven't been in years. Decent Chap, He should be recognised as one of the hero's of the latest Terrorist act". James watched the following conversation bemusidly. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Soviet Unit Number 245, My Name is Romuski Travishek, named after my father who was the head Scientist of the project that created me. Project Ultimate Soldier". He went on. "My code name is Nurdbot, My Rank in the Soviet Army is Major, I am also a Spetznatz Captain. My age should really be 23..I was created in 1980, The project stemmed from 1965 until that date". "But I am much older than I look, I have much experiances in my time.". He finished. "Um. Very nice to meet you.." said Akane. "You must be Miss. Akane..Ryoga told me about you.." said Romuski. "Um. Hi. You might have met me before.." said Ranma. Romuski looked at Ranma for a moment. "Ah, Yes. You must be Ranma. Ryoga told me about you to. I asume you are him, or chaning gender via water is an epidemic here.". "He's quite chatty, Isn't he?" said James. "It's very nice to meet you, would you like something to drink..?" said Kasumi. Romuski declined. Kasumi smiled and walked back to the Kitchen, Almost normaly. James groaned. The choice that Kasumi had offered Romuski was Green Tea. This reminded him of the old Tea back at home. He blinked and asked a question. "I don't suppose you have any Tea-Leaves?". Romuski handed James something. It turned out to be a Teabag of proper Tea. "Oh, Thanks.". Romuski nodded. "No problem, Comrade James. I seem to have alot of them. I like the stuff myself". "But how can you taste or smoke?" blurted out Akane. Romuski shrugged. "I have no idea myself, It's just a habit". James dashed towards the Kitchen shouting Kasumi's name like a Scientist shouting "Eureka!".  
  
Nabiki walked by the door that led to the Bathroom and heard happy humming. She paused for a moment and then shrugged. She left for the dining room. James had a right to be happy, His first cup of tea in ages. Also, The amosphere of the place was starting to calm down. Something obviously was going wrong. James went to the dojo to quickly change his clothes.  
  
When James entered the dining room Soun, Genma, Akane, Ranma and Nabiki were sitting there. Most of them were still gazing at the Robot who was now flicking through a batterd copy of Dracula. "So, Mr.Robot.." started Soun nervously. "Romuski, My name is Romuski.", corrected the Robot as he re- read the sentence about John Harkers dispair. "Akane, Dear..if that really a 6 foot Robot sitting at the table reading Dracula?" asked Soun. "Yes.". Soun blinked. He was about to swear off the Sake for good. James entered the Dining room and said a cheefull 'hello' and was greeted by a bitter silence. He sat down near Romuski and waited for some form of conversation to start up. Romuski noticed this at last and put the book down. "Mr Soun, I understand that you are holding my client from leaving the house due to the responsabilites of his debt". Soun went pale. "You aren't taking legal action..are you?". Romuski chucked. "No, Comrade Tendo. I'm not a Lawyer, Though I'm thinking of getting a degree..". "So what are you trying to say?". Romuski reached into one of his Green Coat's pockets and started to pull thick wad's of Yen notes, one followed by another. Soon there was a huge pile of Wad's of Yen Notes. Soun took two piles and flicked through them. Each note was 50,000 Yen. "Akane, Can I borrow your hankerchief?" asked Nabiki who put her hand over mouth to disguise the fact she was drooling. "James gets his debts paid, In exchange for this small amount of Cash I have gained over the last...10 years.". Soun tried to regain his former pose. "Nabiki, be a dear and find something to put all this money in". Nabiki lept to it. "Yes, Daddy. I'll get some Carrier Bags..". She looked at the pile on the table. "Better make it one of those Shopping Carts". "Bring three more.." added Akane. Nabiki rushed off panting in a non-tired way. "Well Comrade, My work here is done.". James nodded and smiled. "Thank you. Be prepared by the way. I have a feeling the Streets are crawling with Evil.". Romuski undid his jacket and pulls out an Ingram, he slotted in the clip making an impressive sound. "I'm always propared.". Then he stepped forward and caught his cuff-foot in the Tatami mat and fell face down on the floor. Romuski made some soft of Groaning sound. "Can somebody drag me outside and let me gain my sense of balence back?". Ranma and Genma got up and picked Romuski up. "Man, This guy is HEAVY!" grunted Ranma. "Foolish Boy, Don't show you weaknesses..". "Oh shut up." said Ranma flatly. Genma took a combat stance and dropped half of Romuski on the floot, making a rather loud clunking sound. Romuski's vicious swearing was muffled by the mat, And the two Metalic Marbles rolled out from a pocket onto the floor.  
  
The Auditors looked down at the Satome house, they had heard and seen everything. #He has any ally..# anounced one. #We must deal with him quickly, let us summon another agent#. They all disapeared quickly.  
  
Romuski walked down one of the Nerima, The sky was getting Dusky. He decided to take a long walk anyway. When he stopped again, The Moon was Full in the Sky, Which he thought was quite odd because it was not the end of the month. Then he heard a Rustle and Romuski leapt forward and ran at an startling speed. He kept on running down the street and then ducked into a convinent alley-way. He quickly dodged the piles of Rubbish and soggy Cardboard boxes and knocked down some Rubbish Bins. Whatever was chasing Romuski crushed the Rubbish-Cans and kept on the chase.  
  
Mousse whistled cheerfully as cleaned the windows of the Cat Cafe with warm water, having a small fantasy when Shampoo and him were to be finaly united when heard the sound of metal hitting the pavement, then a second or two later a unknown stranger ran by, obscured by a Greatcoat. The strangest thing was that he saw sparks shoot from the ground as he ran. Not the usual sparks, actual sparks. Then only a couple more seconds later was the sound of 5 Rubbish-Cans being crushed one after the other. The door to the Cafe opened, Shampoo stormed out with a bucket. "Shampoo say Mousse being too noisy! she gave warning, you not here it!". Mousse always wondered where she got that pail of cold water from. Just as Shampoo closed the door to the Cafe, leaving a soggy and confused Duck in a pile of clothes, Another Dark shape leapt from nowhere and ran past the Cafe. Mousse shivered, He sensed if without his animal senses. He hoped whoever met that creature was prepared and then moved towards the slowly cooling bucket of warm water he was washing the windows with.  
  
Romuski ran through the streets of Nerima, leaving the district for another unamed one. He ducked into Alley-ways, and weaved through the streets. He crawled under gaps and leapt over walls. However this was all in vain, All it was doing was making his Greatcoat dirty. It was quite easy to see he was going to run into a dead end. "Oh shit.". He turned around, Noticing he still was holding his ingram the whole time. He waited for the Shadow to approach. When it was near enough, Romuski could see it was wearing a dirty Overcoat, Balaclava and three tenticles on each side. There was a silence. "Well Comrade, You chased me around a district and a half and right to here, You could at least introduce yourself..". said Romuski in a cheerfull and confident voice. The thing began to speak, it's voice was a whispery- hiss. "I am Morlock, The Inevatable. My masters have sent me to wipe your puny body off the face of this mortal plane as well as the person you promised to protect". "Cheefull person, And haven't got those Tenticles a role in a hentai movie?". The Thing hissed. "Do not mock me and my brothers taste for Sexual exploits..". "Touchy, Aren't we?". Romuski lit a Cigarette and wedged it in his mouth. "Fool, for those comments I shall just smash you to pieces on the very ground you stand on!". "Can't we at least have a honorable fight?". The Thing moved forward toward Romuski and snickered. "Maybe..". Romuski let it get close, but not too close. The thing was planning to rip his head off with it's tenticles and crush it. Then Romuski raised the Ingram and pointed it directly at the Things face. "Say hello to a small part of the German Weirmach when you get to hell..". And then he opened fire, the round of bullets split and ripped the Things head off. The body sank to the ground and Romuski asumed it began to bleed. He disposed of the body with half a bottle of Alchol and a Lighter and then left for The Hotel he stored Uri for awhile. **************************************************************************** ********** It was the next Morning, And as Ranma and Akane were sparring in the dojo James lay on his Camperbed wedged up against the right wall of the Dojo, wedged in a corner. He finaly had a day off from work, and was bored. He had slept more than enough, Anymore and he'd get a headache. "Heads up!" shouted Ranma. James rolled off the bed as a Chi blast flew above and scorched the wall near the camper bed. There was a pause. "Bugger this for a game of Soldiers.." said James. He walked towards the exit of the dojo.  
  
As James walked out of the Dining room he slipped and fell on his behind, and landed in a heap on the floor. A few minutes passed and so did a Jet- Plane. James managed to sit up and scan the floor to see what he slipped/tripped on. There, in the middle of the floor was 2 small Silver orbs that reminded James of Marbles. He scooped them up from the floor and looked at them as they rested on his palm. Suddenly he felt a flood of Nostalga. Kasumi poked her head out from the right side of the open screen door of the dining room with a look of concern. "Are you alright? I heard a thud..". James smiled and didn't look up. "Yes, I'm fine, Miss. Thank you asking .". And with that he slowly got up to his feet and walked out the house.  
  
It was a sunny day outside, James sat near the door, looking at the two Marbles and remembering his younger self. It's amazing what could trigger long forgotten Memorys. James remembered the time when he was five, just a year before he had to be shipped off to the Assassin's guild, playing Marbles in Peach Pie street with other Middle-Class Children. His Father had bought 4 sacks of these types of Marbles from a Magic shop near the Drum on Filligree street. He loaned the Marbles out and at the end of month he only had half a sack of Marbles remaining. He looked up and winced as the sun glared on his glasses. He shifted a little. Little did he know that his peace was going to be broken.  
  
A hour passed, It was getting boring being Nostaligic. James would have sold his soul for one of The Assassin's Guild students to aproach him and ask him for a game of 'Cripple Mr.Onion'. He had a greasy Pack of Cards somewhere. Then he heard a bell ring. He had heard if before and then released it was the bell on that dreaded contraption that Ran him over 3 days ago. He stood up and edged towards the door. One of the Marbles dropped on the floor. James hurredly bent down to pick it up, But with horror he saw the Contraption's wheel had planted itself on his foot. "What matter? Gaijin never see wheel before?" asked a fammiler Voice. James sighed. "Hello Miss. Shampoo..would you mind getting the thing off my foot?". Shampoo did so. "Ranma's in the dojo.." said James. Shampoo rode the bike in there. James sat down against the wall and waited. He knew what was going to happen the next. The sound of Akane shouting at Ranma for being 'glomped', the sound of Ranma digging himself deeper into his hole and then Ranma being shot through the Dojo ceiling into orbit and down into the Koi pond. James watched a soaking wet Ranko stomp past and into the house. He turned his attension to the sky once more.  
  
Nabiki, dressed in her Yen Pyjamas, swallowed the last of the Riceball she was eating and then sighed. She was bored, And was hoping to put great use to the money her Father had inherited from that Pseudo-Robot person. But she knew Soun had kept it in a Secret Safe somewhere in the house, Swearing it was for serious use only. Funy, He took a small amount and went out on the two with Genma and few old Friends to hit Down-Town. They still were not back yet. She sighed and mentally prayed to the gods for something to do, even a menial chore. Then Kasumi aproached. "Nabiki, dear could you do something for me?". Nabiki looked up. "Yes, Kasumi?". Kasumi handed a shopping list to Nabiki and gave her 3 wads of the Yen notes they had received Yesterday. "Could you go on a big bulk buy at one of those huge Shopping-Markets in The Sazume District?". Nabiki mentally groaned. Almost anything, she should had added.  
  
Nabiki walked out the house, now dressed in shorts and Tanktop combo, and paused for a moment and started to wrack her brain for the answer on how to carry the stuff back home. She looked around and spotted James, who had dozed off, against the door. Inspiration struck. She casully poked the sleeping boy with her foot and then leapt back quicky as James awoke with a quickly dwindling scream. "Oh thank gods, for a moment I thought I was in one of the hells of Blind L-...". he trailed off and looked around his surroundings. He made a dissapointed noise and sat up. He then saw Nabiki. "Hello.." said James. Nabiki kneeled near James. "Would you like this ring back?" she asked sweetly. She pulled the Stone ring from her pocket and held it temptingly before James slightly magnified eyes. "Yes! Please give that back, I'll do ANYTHING!". Nabiki smiled deviously. "Well...".  
  
At the same time as this was going on, Romuski rolled off the couch he had been recharging on and head towards the Bathroom. He was planning to sponge the dirt and mud off his body with a wet sponge, but as he opened the door to the Medium-Sized Porcalean room, his plans changed instantly. The Bathroom was fine, structure wise. Nothing had been broken. But the walls had been splattered with something that looked like a very light shade of yellow liquid. Then he noticed the three bodies that were the same species as Morlock. Or were. On closer in expection they had been sliced up quite badly. Sliced was to efficent. Cut up, or butchered would be easier to stick a label to it. Romuski was jilted out of his examination by a over- kawaii voice. "Morning!". Glomp. Romuski seized a towel from the floor and handed to Uri, Who held it infront of her. Romuski turned around. "Uri, Why is there 3 bodies of unspeakable horrors in our Hotel Bathroom?". Uri tilted her head and mumbled a few things as she recolected and stopped. "Oh! Yeah, They just walked in and grabbed me asking me if I would like to play..". Uri went on. "I almost swallowed by Toothbrush.". Romuski groaned. Uri's short attention span was going into gear. "But they I killed them with my claws and then had something to eat. I forgot what I ate but..". Romuski nodded. "That's enough for now, Good girl. Could you go get me a mop and some warm water..". He looked at the corpses once more and hesatated. "Maybe some Rubbish-Bag's as well...".  
  
The Tokyo Coach rumbled across the road and paused at the Traffic Lights. Inside the Couch, Right side and 7th seat sat Nabiki on the outside and James near the window. Nabiki was wearing her Black tinted round Sunglasses and franticly reading a Magazine she bought before heading towards the Bus -Stop back in Nerima. She was trying to ignore the looks from the many Japanese Citizens on the bus, mainly because the gaijin they asumed was Traveling with her or god forbid, having relations with her. She suddenly became interested in a embarassing Story in one of the Articles in her Magazine. Meanwhile, James who was gazing out the window with the look of a guppy at Feeding time. The place was so huge, so urban, so..so CROWDED. He was Morporkian-Sto-Planiam, and lived in a City the size of a small Nation. He had been to Sator Square and places like Broadway, where thousands of people scuttled backwards and forwards like ants in a never ending river. But this place was huge. And it had so many advertisements. He made a very loud gasp, awaking Nabiki from reading the Article and making her groan. She wished this Bus would either stop soon or blow up.  
  
The Bus that was just mentioned drove by a small Sake bar, it could be clearly seen through the large window. The Barkeeper himself was feeling quite tired. He wanted to close up but these two honorable customers had given him 700 thousand. Yen, And he still had quite alot of drinks to serve. Both of the customers were completly wasted, And soon began to sing songs about 'The Honorable days'. The Barkeeper groaned inwardly and Soun burst into emotional tears after completing a verse.  
  
The doors of the huge Super-Market slid open and James rushed inside followed by a much slower and distant Nabiki. The Super-Market/Store was one of those huge ones, with about 90 aisles Minimum. It was quite full as well, And all the colourfull advertising sign's were offering the best deals this side of Tokyo. Nabiki released what disastors could happen if she didn't take stock quickly. "James.." she said. James turned around quickly. "Yes Miss?". She quickly seized James arm with one hand and removed her glasses with the other. "Listen, they're are SOME rules down here, okay?, just follow me and don't do anything ANYTHING without MY permission, got that?". James blinked. Nabiki's grip was getting quite hard. "Y-Yes, Miss..". Nabiki let go and smiled. "Good boy, now follow me..but no too close. Oh damn! I forgot!". Nabiki ran out quickly and returned pushing a large Shopping Kart. She stopped it by James. "Be a good boy, Push this and where I point and ask you to fetch the thing I am pointing at, Please fetch it." James nodded and soon the two were both in the thick of the Market/Store doing what they were sent to do. Shopping.  
  
Several Crows were busy pearching on the far edge of the fabled Canal of Nerima, looking into the peacefull and deserted area when out of the sky dive bombed a Raven with something on it's back. it landed near the Crows with a thud and threw the thing off it's back. "You stupid thing!" it cried. "I told you the wind resistence was to calm for a landing like that!". The creature picked itself up and brushed itselt down. It then went SQUEAK, The Squeak with loud, echoey and sounded like Lead Coffen's banging in crypts. Quoth the Raven also stood up, brushed itself down in area's if possible and examined his suroundings, it turned to The Death of Rats. "We seem to be in the right place, come on, Death said he was last at a place called the Tendo Residence." To describe what the Death of Rat's looked like, picture a Rat's Skeleton with blue glowing eye sockets, A Small black robe and a slightly larger Scythe. Whenever a Rat was trod on, he'd be there. Whenever a small child forgot to feed it's Christmas Hampster, he'd be there. Whenever A Rat eats a piece of Fruit Cake made by your Grandmother, hells, of course he'd be there. The DOR stepped forward and fell into the Canal. Quothe sighed and proceeded to fish his companion out. The Crows, slightly startled continued to watch the empty area infront of them.  
  
Nabiki groaned. She looked at all the types of Fish food on the Aisle infront of her. It was just marked Fish food on the Shopping List, Kasumi hadn't been very brief on what type of Fish food to get for her Father's Koi, And now Nabiki had to blindly guess the food type. She ran her eyes over the differant types of Fish food. Maybe she could remember the brand, she spotted the bags lying around the Kitchen Cupboards all the time. She moved up to the edge of the aisle and started to carefully scan the Fish food brands. Opposite the ailse were some fish tanks, Some of them full of water and fish, overs were just empty and waiting to be bought. James was near a small group of the full ones, with a small amount of goods pooling at the bottom of the Shopping Kart. James full attension was on the Smallest Tank ontop off all the others. The Fish inside were Goldfish. James liked Goldfish. They were a wonderfull colour, and were great companions. James also had a Goldfish when he was a Child, But lost it when his slightly older Brother Robert thought it was fun to release it into the Ankh. James winced, He hadn't remembered that in years, And made a note to exact revenge for Mr Shiny on Robert. He watched them swim around and wondered if they were hungry. James was ignorant on what Goldfish ate, so he hoped they ate anything they could digest, which is a very fruitless thought at times but it fit the occasion. He digged around in his Trouser pocket for the remains of a Biscuit, one of those hard sea types, removed it from his pocket along with the two Marbles he found and proceeded to carefully lift the lid off the fish tank. "What the hell are you doing?" hissed Nabiki. James dropped all contents in his hand, including the Marbles and turned around quickly, trying clumsily to shut the lid down on the fish tank. Nabiki groaned. She hoped this was only incident that was going to happen today. She dumped The Hokaido Brand Fish food into the Kart and walked towards James. James quickly leaned back, He discovered from experiance with his Mother and his Au-Pair that angry women are the most nerve-wracking things to encounter. Nabiki stopped and smiled sweetly. James moved forward abit, causing the badly placed lid to clatter noisily onto the floor. Nabiki dropped her cute act and shoved James swiftly aside, causing him to almost fall into a bunch of empty fish tanks. She then saw the Goldfish Tank. Most of Goldfish had fled to the corners of the Tank, which was at the bottom in the middle of the Tank. Whatever they were, they were giving off sound Vibrations and making the water ripple. They were glowing too. Nabiki relised she had to act. She'd be banned from the Store if anyone had seen James or Her messing around with the fish tanks. It had to be done, Even if she left the fish alone. Several people had walked through this aisle since she was considering the Fish food. She would be connected up to this and banned anyway. She braced herself, dipped her arm into the Fish Tank's water and quickly grabbed at the two offensive objects, both were vibrating violently and felt slightly warm. She brought them right out of the water, where they immediatly stopped vibrating but they still were warm. They were James marbles.  
  
"But there ish more drinks left!" protested a drunken Soun. "I'm sorry, Gentlemen, but it's almost 2 Oh clock, we must close..". Genma tried to turn around but that was quite hard, mainly because he was on the ground. "This ish disgraceful!" he moaned. Soun agreed with a Lampost. People walked around the two trying to avoid eye contact. Soun blinked. "Thersh an all night Bar down here shomewhere..". Genma considered this. "Onward!". And both of them stumbled down the street, A clear path already being created for them.  
  
Romuski Travishek lounged on the Hotel Sofa, A glass of cheap Wine in one hand. If if his sensors could read the taste and simulate some weak bastardised version of it, Romuski knew it would have tasted terrible. That's why he gave the bottle to Uri, who had drunk it all in 10 minutes and was passed out on the floor. He felt bored. He knew he couldn't do something fun, like rob a bank or go to Secret Crime Orginizations as a Hitman for hire, Mainly because the World would know he was once more awake. Mainly all defence and justice Ministries around the World would be baying for his blood. Uh, oil. He mulled over his last unfair fight. That thing...whatever his name was said something about James. Romuski sat up and crushed his Wine glass without noticing. "Shit! those things are going to kill the kid!". Romuski tried to get off the Sofa quickly, but slipped and hit the floor in one huge thump. He scrambled onto his feet and ran towards the bedroom and almost dived towards the closet. He opened it and examined his armoury. The Armoury had many Weapons from many periods. It even had 10 Flintlock Muskets, each with a small pack of thirty paper cartridges and even a pike. Romuski searched Franticly for some Bandoliers and soon had strapped them around himself, Crossbelt and thick waistbelt style. He choose several weapons, Including his Kligenthal sword, His Kalashnikov and his bolt-action rifle. Then he turned around and watched Uri stagger into the room and fall onto the Hotel two person bed. She groaned the groan of a 1st class Hangover. "Owie. Hey, where 'ya going?" asked Uri. Romuski checked the current clip of his Kalishnikov. "Out, to save the most clueless and doomed person in this current Universe. Could be dangerous..". Uri's eyes started to close. "Uhuh. Will you bring back a Present?". Romuski checked the sight of his Lee-Enfield. "Maybe. Oh, and change out of those clothes Uri, you've been wearing them for almost four days.". And with that comment his shrugged on his Greatcoat and left the Hotel room. Uri hoped he'd would not bring back more Wine.  
  
The people of Nerima looked be-musedly at Soun riding Genma in Panda Form and singing a badly translated English folk song, which contained more innuendo than a Carry On film and The Monty Python's own Nude-Nudge-Wink- Wink Man. They'd had got into the bar and had at least several more drinks before one of the Waitresses, who'd been groped by a drunken Salaryman, spilled the jug of cold water she had been carrying and caused Genma to become a Panda. The entire Bars freaked out, And they managed to stumble off before someone called the Tokyo Animal Rescue. Quoth and The Death of Rat's watched this from a roof nearby, both slightly amused. This place was fun.  
  
Nabiki sighed and leaned against an aisle. She looked at the Shopping Kart, Which only was halfway full. Great, she though. Father must have been in a hurry and just yanked out a couple of 10,000 Yen bills and handed them to Kasumi. She only had a quater of the shopping in the Kart. He glanced up the Aisle where she last sent James. "What the hell is he doing that's taking so long?". James looked at the bottle in his lefthand. It was glass, And said Ketchup. He looked at the one at his right. It was a plastic Squeeze Bottle that sat Catsup. What was the difference?". He checked the Ingridients and the Logo's, Both he'd seen on several other products they had bought and they were inconclusive. He held the Squeeze botte at the Floresant light and squinted. Nabiki sweatdropped and then growled. She was about to march up to James and seize both of the bottles from him, when she saw the hanging sign. She spotted a Clerk entering this aisle and quickly hurried up towards him. "Hey, what does that mean?" she asked pointing to a hanging sign. The Clerk looked up at the sign. "Well, it says Congraulation's Loya-". Nabiki dismissed that with the wave of her hand. "What does it actually mean?". The Clerk blinked. "The Store, Which is visited the most by many many familys, they've decided to get one of those Special Cards...". He paused for a moment. "Go on.." said Nabiki, The embers of a Idea growing in her."Well, The Card takes 70% off almost every product Price..". "Seventy Percent!". The entire Store looked around, wondering who had shouted that. "But there is a catch..". Nabiki blinked. "You must be Married or at least have a Fiance..". Nabiki slowly scanned the area. She spotted James, still looking at the two bottles of Tomato-Flavoured Sauce. "Miss?, I asume you are interested..?". Nabiki released the Clerk was looking at Stone Ring Nabiki was wearing. "Wha..?". The Clerk coughed in a embaressed way. "Sorry, I thought you were considering getting it, if so, we can arrange it..". Then Nabiki relised it. The Clerk thought the ring she was wearing a Wedding Ring or an Engagement Ring. Nabiki shuddered. Her Ring would be Gold and be-jewl-..wait she thought. Did he just offer me a chance to get this card?. Nabiki blinked and change her expression from her usual apathetic look to something more of a Kasumi set of expressions. "Oh! Of course! just let me consolidate with my husband!". She quickly sailed off towards James, making sure she was walking a kawaii-sweet walk, that all girls knew in Japan. However, Nabiki used hers Tactfully. James, who was still mentally debating about the Red Sauxe, was shocked when Nabiki, who had walked up behind him and hugged him in a very inaminate way. He dropped the Plastic bottle on the floor and fumbled with the Glass one.  
  
Romuski Travishek thundered down the pavement of one of the streets of Nerima, ignoring the astonished looks from the General Populace. He had to get to James, they both had payed there debts, but this could be serious. Not even Romuski noticed Quoth in the air, With the Death Of Rats riding on his back, following him.  
  
James was still shocked, a girl that was just a minor aquitance, was hugging him in a rather invading personal space sort of way. He hadn't been touched like this since..well..never really. He also had no idea what the hell to do. James brain shut off tempararly. Nabiki released nothing was happening. She clickly glanced behind her and scented the first whiffs of Suspicion from the Clerk. She poked James violently. "Hey! You!" she hissed. James brain came back online. "M-Miss Nabiki! We've only just kn-". Nabiki jabbed James again, Making him wince. "Shh! just pretend I'm intimate with you, Just Nod and agree when the oppotunity arises...I swear it will be worth it.". James considered this. "Can you buy me something in exchange then?". Nabiki nodded. "So what do I do?" asked James. "Have you ever seen Just Married Couples? the one that seem to have been marinated in Sugar?". Nabiki and James had a quick discussion. Then both of them turned towards the Clerk. Nabiki grabbed James by the arm and dragged him towards the Clerk. James face looked like this: ^_^. Mainly, because his Father would always look like at The Small Party's they were invited too. Seeing this Very Polite and happy face scared the Clerk, And James glasses which magnified his eyes, were not helping. "My future hubbie and I have had a little chat..". James nodded. "Yes, dear". "And we've decided we'd like to apply for this nice little card, right?" "Yes, dear". The Clerk was wondering if that was starting to hurt. He then snapped to attension. "Okay, Mrs?.." "Tendo". "Alright, Mrs Tendo, But we'll need to see your legal do-". Nabiki knew this was going to happen. "Could I please use the Ladies?" she asked so suddenly, the conversation before that question broke up. Nabiki quickly hurried towards the Ladies room, Pulling a thick wad of Paper from her clevage.  
  
Soun was leaning against the door of the Tendo Residence, Smoking, and ignoring the thumping Headache. Genma, in Panda fom, was sleeping in The Koi Pond. It was half-one in the After-Noon, And it was quite peacefull. Even Akane and Ranma were moderately getting along fine. Something was going to happen. Soun then Saw Romuski, The Robot that graced them with the presence of something called, alot of money, Rush towards the Tendo residence. Rumuski then tripped over, swore violently and hauled himself back off. Romuski ran towards the Tendo house, lept over the gate, avoided the Koi pond and aproached Soun. Soun decided to greet the donater very graciously. But before he could speak, The Russian robot spoke first. "Where is the Kid?". Soun blinked. "We have several?". Romuski swore again. "Where is Comrade James?". Soun shrugged. "Would Sir like to come in for a late lunch, in return for the generious donation to the Dojo?". Romuski declined. Fidgeting abit, The Russian Robot removed his Kligenthal sword scabbard, with the sword inside and handed it to Soun. Soun looked at the battered Scabbard with bemusement. "I suspect he knows how to use a sword, If he comes back, give it to him and tell him to be on his guard". Romuski turned around the leave and then the door opened and Soun moved aside to let Kasumi past. She was carrying a Basket of just washed clothes. "Oh, If your looking for your friend, he's gone shopping down town with Nabiki". Romuski thanked Kasumi, ran out of the residence and then remember the term, down town meant The Center of Tokyo. Romuski groaned in frustration before continuing on his death run.  
  
Nabiki sat in the closed stall, on the Toilet seat, crosslegged and sucking the end on a Biro. She looked at the blank Photo-Copied blank legal forms she had kept with herself. She was trying to be creative. She had filled out her forms easily, now it was time for the moronic gaijin that would be her ticket to this thing. She had started on James form, She had his name, his age and his marital Status. Now Nationality. She wrote English down in the many forged fonts she had learned, this one she called Official Number Four. Then she wrote London in the City/Province or birth. Nabiki started to hum as she filled in the bogus deteals about James.  
  
When Nabiki was finnished, He headed back towards the Aisle where she left James. The Clerk was there and was inspecting a Dented Can of Soy Beans, while James was sheepishly clinging to the Trolly. Nabiki started her wife impression immediatly. "I'm back! Sorry I took so long!". She hoped she'd only been gone for five minutes. The Clerk quickly looked up. "Ah, Miss, are you still interested?". "You bet! *Obnoxiously cute giggle*". The Clerk led Nabiki towards the Office. James groaned, dropped his polite face and sighed with relief.  
  
Quoth and the Death of Rats settled down on the Tendo roof and watched Ranma and Genma sparring below. Finaly the match ended when they were both called in for Lunch. Quoth started to preen himself when the Death of Rats asked a question. SQUEAK! "Yes, I know he'll come here. Follow the Octarine Trail". The Death of Rats tilted his head. SQUEAK! SQUEAK SQUEAK!. Quoth was broken from his fantasy of a battlefied. "What?". The DOR scrabbled around, spotted something on a Washing line in the far horizon and ran off. "I don't know why I have to carry him, he can do that" grumbled Quoth. The Raven waited for the Death of Rats to return. When the Skeleton of a Rat did return, he was carrying some sort of grey wash cloth. In a whip of a moment, he was wearing over his cowl. The Skeleton on the Rat tried to look immtimedating, which is quite impossible when the face of The Hello Kitty Character was on the grey cloth. "What? them?" scoffed Quoth. "He's one of his relatives, he should have sensed it by now. Don't worry, he'll all be kitted up and armed to the teeth, ready for them".  
  
The only thing James was kitted up on, was some moderately priced wine. And as for weaponry, a couple of No.5 Throwing Knives up his sleeves and Sock holsters. In his Right hand, he had a bottle of opened French wine, and in his left arm he was carrying four brown paper bags of Shopping. Nabiki was carrying one. The rest was being driven towards the Tendo house by a very heavy Van. Nabiki was planning to go on the Internet and locate all the over shops owned by Nakanoga Corp and go on a spree tommow. She still had plenty of Yen on her. She had noticed James was carrying the four bags at total ease in one arm, and the opened Wine bottle from the other. "Doesn't that get tiring?". James blinked. "Pardon?". Nabiki asked the question again. "Oh this? Strength is mearly something if your related to someone who can apear in more than one place at a time..". Nabiki stopped. "What?" asked Nabiki. James then relised he had not told Nabiki or the rest of the Tendo house about his family history. He never really did, because telling someone you were a relative of Death would not only get you a small share at Dinner but a possible banning from the room. Cold Shoulders all around. James mentally shuddered. "Uh, nothing. Must be the Wine after all..". Nabiki reguarded James suspiciously and then glanced at the Wine. It was really expensive stuff, James had choosen several cases of it. She was really irratated at the fact James could has gotten a much more less expensive thing. "Miss Nabiki.." asked James. "Hmn?". James cleared his throat. "I was thinking about the moral implications of what we are doing..". Nabiki panicked. She thought up a lie, it was a bad one, but it would do. "You've heard of that guy? Robin Cowl right?". "No". Nabiki blinked. Maybe she should have put alot more thought into it."Wait a sec..". Nabiki quickly sketched up something. "Well, he robbed from the Upperclass and kept it for jis family, he then freed the slaves of Egypt and formed the state of France". Nabiki mentally groaned. She never payed any attention about Europe in the History classes. She barely knew about Japanese History herself. Luckly for me, she thought, this guy doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about. James took a quick sip from the wine. It then all made perfect sense. "Oh. I think I understand that.". Nabiki relaxed. "Um, Could you take this bottle away from me please?, I feel A little woozy..".  
  
Romuski Travishek got off the Bus and then groaned loudly and agressively, ignoring the the small crowd of Japanese Salarymen that quickly hurried off. He searched a Moderate Part of Downtown and gave up. He hoped the Kid could fight. As he began to head for the Hotel, The Clear Sunny Sky became Grey with Clouds and Ominious thunder. Romuski swore. He forgot to bring his trousers.  
  
Nabiki looked up at the sky, startled at the Thunder. Funny, it was clear a minute ago thought Nabiki.  
  
Quoth and the Death of Rats looked up. SQUEAK! "Yeah, it's not a good omen..".  
  
Nabiki waited at the Bus-Stop for James, who was abling on at a Tipsy pace. While she was waiting, she thought about those two Silver Orb's that she fished out the Fish-Tank. She still had them in her shorts pockets. She hoped the Bus would arive, it was really starting to rain. "Funny Weather were having.." said James who finaly arived at the Bus-Stop. Nabiki mearly nodded. "Listen, about the ring.." started James. Nabiki removed the ring from her finger and held it inches away from James face. "You want this ring?". James nodded. Nabiki quickly secreted her ring beween her Clevage. "Well?, I'm giving you full permission to get it..". James went a very bright red. "Miss Nabiki! I beleave we had some sort of agreement!". Nabiki grinned. "Well, James baby, I can call you that right?". "It is a little intima-". ".that was earlier on today.." interupted Nabiki. "Now, I need this ring. It's on my finger in a image on my little cheap Ticket acount. I can't just have ANY ring, they'd start to get suspicious. Of course you can have it back, if you get the courage..". James blinked. "....". Nabiki dumped her Sack of food into James already full arms. "Carry this, please". James made a muffled protest, he was starting to feel a little tired. "No more objections or I'll hide it in a place it would take all of your courage, plus a large amount of cash and soft surface to get. Be good and listen to my demands and you might get it back, okay?". James considered this. That Ring was important. He needed it. James then did a very stupid thing. He nodded in agreement.  
  
Thankfully, it had not rained. Romuski was very thankfull as he walked down the pavement, gazing down to avoid making visusal contact with people. Like Nabiki, his mind had been wandering, thinking about the sudden change of weather. Romuski had nothing else to think about and in two minutes time most of the people in Tokyo apart from him stopped thinking about it. Romuski didn't, The infamous Japanese unofficial Raining Season was many months away and the humidity wasn't right. Aside from that, Romuski had made a plan for when it did rain. He'd duck into a Alley-Way and use the Rubbish-Can lids. If he stuck to the alley's, he'd be okay as long as he didn't step on something rusty. He then heard a comotion behind him. He turned around and watched a Kid of Fifteen years old, dressed in Scruffy clothes, running and laughing like he just heard the most amusing joke in the work. He was being chased by a respectable Japanese Lady. But then Romuski also noticed the Vehicles going down to road at a slightly quick Pace. As the Bus passed Romuski he noticed Nabiki Tendo and James sitting right at the back. Romuski turned his head slightly and watched the Bus as it got distant. As he was doing this, he aimed a quick and hard Kick at the Kid's leg. The Kid toppled to the ground. "Hell!, Damn! Ouch! My leg!". Romuski was now looking back down the street, using his locking program and Map's to follow the Trail of the Bus. Then he released it would stop at Nerima. Old fool. "They're you are Mam.." said Romuski as the Old Lady managed to catch up. Before she could say anything, The Tall Man infront of her wearing that huge Grey Greatcoat dashed off, oddly making cracks in the Pavement where his feet inpacted. She shook it off, Usually Weirdoes like that liked two districts down in Nerima. "Damn. Look's like I'l just have the satisfaction of Pistol whipping this Punk.". she stated, pulling out a rather Vicious Looking Handgun. The Kid cowered in the shadow. The Old Lady had to be held back by two passing Japanese Office Workers while they're female counterpart called a Ambulance for the badly injured kid.  
  
James placed the last Brown Bag of shopping on the very crowded Table. Kasumi stood by, unpacking the Bag's one at a time. "It was nice of you to offer to carry the bags into the house...". James nodded, he actually volenteered for that. At least he could be usefull for something. "...even though at one point your Belt split and your trousers fell down and you dropped the bag of Fruit, almost bruising the apples, to do them up again..". "Yeeeah..". James polite smile was starting to become forced. "And when you tripped over, shielded the Bag with the Bread in and almost got your hand trapped in the Sewer- Grate..". James blinked. "And remember those crates..". James swelled with pride. "..Including the ones Akane helped you carry..". He deflated. "Also, when you dropped that small Box of Father's Cigarettes, and he was watching. I never seen him move so fast". James felt guilty, because half the Cigarette's were soaked so he ran into the Kitchen and popped them into the Microwave, Something he watched Kasumi use. He then handed These to Soun just as Ranma and Genma, both afraid it was going to rain heavly, clumsily picked him up and dragged him inside. Now Soun was sitting in his usual place at the Dining room, huggling the singed Box containing 30 Packets of even more singed Cigarettes, croning 'My Baby." flatly every five seconds. "And then.." started Kasumi cheerfully. "You know what Miss Kasumi!" James exclaimed with politeness. "..I'll unpack the stuff for you. You got and cheer your Father up". "Oh my, that's would be ever so helpful". Kasumi smiled and quickly left. James, still with a forced grin, started to unpack the stuff and tried not knock himself out with something blunt and heavy.  
  
Nabiki was gathering her Bathing stuff when the Phone Rang. Kasumi quickly answered it and handed it to her. "Kuno-Baby! How are you doing?". The Blue Thunder replied. "Miss.Nabiki, I have called you because I must aquire the new images of my Red Haired Goddess and the lovely Akane Tendo". "Oh! You want your weekly smutty pictures Kuno-Baby? I have some good one's fresh and ready to sell..". "....". Nabiki grinned at the disarmed silence. She really had some good shots too, one of Ranko sitting on a stool in the furo, Scrubbing a small amount of Bubbles off her. If it wasn't for the group of Bubbles obscuring her right breast (her arms obscured the other one, scrubbing the area under the right gland) she would be naked and in a tastefull pose. My workhouse, she thought. "Are you still there, Nabiki Tendo?". Ah, glad we're speaking Japanese at last she thought. "Yeah, where shall we meet?". "The street across from my Residence tonight at Six PM sharp". Nabiki checked the time. It was 4:46 PM, plenty of time to freshen up and go down there. "Alright Kuno -Baby, see you there.". She put down the phone and scooped up her bathing equipment and headed for the Furo.  
  
James arms and legs were hurting, as he slowly shuffled across the dining room. Kasumi was sootheing Soun's feelings by remincing about the fabled Mrs Tendo. James knew somebody was going to stop him from flopping down on the furo, maybe reading a little bit out of his Hwel Magazine and then going to sleep. Akane swiftly tapped James on the arm. James lost all hope of relaxation."Hey James, could you take this to the Cat Kill Cafe? It's near Ukyo's, you can't miss it". Akane handed a medium sized paper note. "What is it?". "It's supposed to be a note warning them about Genma's sneak orders, posing for Ranma and all that. It even has a series of questions about Ranma". James read one out aloud. "'What is Ranma's Favourite Colour.'..". Akane nodded. "Alright then, I'll be off..if anybody objects..okay?..right then". James was not looking forward to this.  
  
Five minutes later, James was slowly slogging down the street, not noticing The Scurrying Shape of the Death of Rat's in the shadows. James was surprisingly cheeful, and the reason why was the fact that he'd taken all the present Alchol and put them in his bottom-less empty backpack.  
  
Genma was franticly searching around the Kitchen, with Soun watching. "Well?" asked Soun. Genma stood up shakily. "There is not a drop in the house" he anounced Solemly.  
  
James grinned sinisterly as the scream was heard for miles.  
  
Gosunguki sat in his Dressing room in his latest Television Studio, his agent was on Holiday in Spain but they could be reached via the Portable Portal 19-- Broadband Camera. He was depressed, even though the copies of Akane Tendo and every other Pretty looking girl could cater to his every whim. He sighed and watched the Screen Saver of Flying Toasters on his Hi- Tech Laptop. He checked the Digital Clock above his Dressing Table. 4:47, He'll be on Camera at 5. Tonight he planned to reserect and Interview Jimmy Hoffa, Napoleon and Otto Von Bismark and Interview them. Then he remembered he had to log online and Check his part of the Shows Message board. As he scanned through the Topic's, he discovered he had a Private Message from someone. He clicked a few links and began to read. Blue Enku had formed a cult for eliminating the demons of Japan, he requested Gosunguki's help. Gonsunguki mused this when a Window with the sweaty face of his agent, Mr.Yurakashi. "Hey Kid, I have some good news..". Gosunguki looked up. "Yeah?". "How would you like to be in a Movie?, It's minor roll but if you do half the Special effects you will get a large amount of cash, are you interested?". Gonsunguki blinked. "Yeah". Gosunguki pushed the request to the back of his mind, for now.  
  
Kasumi hummed as she flicked the Feather-Duster around the Dining room. She had calmed Soun down, who was watching a Japanese Samurai Movie with Genma and making bets who would win with salted peanuts. Of course, when they were not looking, they each stole the Peanuts back. She flitted around the room at a astonishing speed, clearing the dust from the flat sufaces with atheletic speed. Akane walked into the room, carrying a full clothes basket. "Oh Akane! Let me take that off your hands!" asked Kasumi. "Really? are you sure?". Kasumi nodded and Akane gently placed the Basket on the floor. The Basket was taller than the table, and out of the pocket of Nabiki's shirt fell the two Silver orbs, whiched rolled across the table. Nobody noticed this little movement and Akane left. Kasumi dealt the dirty clothes and returned to her task of cleaning. As she sweapt the Feather- Duster swiftly over the table's surface, the artifical feather activated a sensor which brought the Marble sized orbs into the air. Kasumi dropped the Feather-Duster and spotted the Orbs hovering. The orbs hovered over the table in stopped infront of Kasumi. They both started to glow dark blue and hum. Then two medium sized projections popped out infront of each orb. Something, written in European Text (Kasumi knew it was European with all the dashes and dots above the letters) and then blinked. Below the text was a computer loading Bar, which was 1/10th full, both orbs were loading at the same percentage. "Oh My!" exclaimed Kasumi. She wondered what they could be. For a moment, she thought it could have been a bomb. But if it was a bomb, she thought, It would have gone off immediatly. Still, she thought, I better do something. She decided to fetch Nabiki when she was done cleaning. She resumed her cleaning once more.  
  
James opened his 2nd bottle of Wine and leaned back slightly on the small crate he was sitting and sighed happily. James was not very talkative, he did not know how to flirt or tell a joke and he was not the most cool- headed person, but years of being a student and drinking cheap Alochol since the age of 15 (The age in Ankh-Morpork, if that's extreme but the age of in Klatch is 4 years old) and he was a expert at inhaling large amounts of cheap beer and manging to keep control of his body in a very extreme state of Drunken-Ness. He felt happier than he'd ever been in ages, and forgot the letter he was supposed to deliver to the Nekohaten. He smiled and look out the opening of Ukyo's alley-way. Even if the weather looked like the clouds were going to burst with Thunder, hail and rain, the heat was quite warm. James started to feel quite sleepy and yawned.  
  
Dark Shadows skulked across the walls of the alley-ways and shopfronts of the street, unseen by anyone. They were homing in on they're target.  
  
Romuski Travishek hurried past Ukyo's and then screeched to a halt. Avoiding the now wet cement, he aproached the Alley he past. There was James, sitting on a upturned crate with alot of bottles around him. He aproached. "Oh hello, Romuski!" said a cheerfull James. Romuski paused for a moment and declined the offer of Whiskey. "Are you sure?, It's a wonderfull day. The girls around here are ever so pretty..". If Romuski had eyelid's in his current form, he'd blink. And then something horrible happend. James broke out into a song. "I once knew a farmer, I knew him welll!" he sand, the faint echo's in the Alley not helping abit. "Shhh!, keep it down, Comrade!". James switched to a softer tone. "And he had a gaint..a giant..oh damn, I forgot what it was.". Romuski quickly turned around and scanned the street. It was empty, deserted and silent. The Robot started to feel edgy. He relised if it did rain, he'd loose most of his advantages that made him a fighting machine. Plus all the weapons and ammunition on him would suddenly be too heavy to carry. "..I think it was a carrot, but my gut tells me it was a Parsnip.." continued the drunken James. Romuski Travishek was now looking around quickly, in some sort of electronic edgyness. "It could have been..a. cabbage" mused James. Romuski snapped. "Shut up! Cease your drunken rambling and listen!". James listened immediatly to the 6 foot tall Russian Robot who had a portable armoury under his greatcoat. Everybody would listen. "I came across this..this demon that knew you..". James suddenly found himself getting quite Sober.  
  
The smoke rose from the burnt Okonomiyaki on the small grill, Ukyo did not notice mainly because she was locked in a endless sleep. Infact, a large amount of people in Ukyo's were also asleep, some sprawled out on the tables and Bar were customers, but the ones on the floor were the people that were on the street less than a minute ago. Satisfied, three shadows floated through the wall.  
  
Romuski had told his tale, and then crossed himself. James was now Sober. There was a silence. "Oh sod..I thought this place would be too remote to find me.." said James. James was now looking quickly around the alley-way. "Who are those demons anyway? Prey tell Comrade". "They call themselves the Auditors, they are supposed to be the Moderators of the entire Galaxy where I come from.."James stopped and licked his dry lips. Romuski made a impatient 'go on..' gesture with his hands. "That demon might have no been a a Auditor, just a henchman sent to kill you..I think they've been trailing me for some time now". "And why are they tracking you with this intent to kill?". James looked down on the floor. "A Ring, that carries the Spell that could eliminate all life in not only my Galaxy, but yours and thousands of others..". "The A-Bomb of spells..." muttered Romuski."Pardon?". Romuski shook his head. "Nothing.". "Oh shit!" exclaimed James. "What?". "Nabiki Tendo has the ring!".  
  
The aforementioned Ring, was on Nabiki's finger, the only item of clothing she was wearing during her bath. Nabiki herself was absentmindedly going through the list of things to buy tommow, wincing as she poured a bucket of medium-warm water over her head. Outside the furo, a shadow floated over the clothes basket and became solid outside the door of the furo. It's grabbed the handle of the Sliding door with it's scaley grimey hand and slid it open quietly. Nabiki froze and went through a quick mental register of the Tendo house. Genma asleep infront of TV, Father lying down in bedroom, Akane and Ranma in dojo, James probably asleep and Kasumi cleaning, she thought. She asumed that some pervert had broke into the house and was now standing in the doorway, oggling her and planning to do some very perverted things to her body without her permission. Nabiki took the situation quite calmly and bent forward to pick up a Trench Club, something she bought off eBay at quite a cheap price, mainly becaused the barbed wire was not part of the original weapon. She turned around to face the pervert who invaded her privicy.  
  
Zrekkaxold grinned evily, looking forward to grabbing this rather stunningly attractive girl and do the thing that all tenticle monsters did to you asian girls. She was coming towards him too, damn that ring. It wasn't going to move. Zrellaxold, however had his eyes fixed of Nabiki's bust, and stupidly did not notice the Trench tool to the last few seconds of his life. The Hard Oak staff, with several roll's of barbed wire wrapped around it crashed into his face three times. When the 3rd blow had landed, Nabiki turned around muttering 'Friggin' Perverts..' and slammed the door shut. Zrekkaxold was not used to the physics in the word he was occupiying, and instead of just being knocked out with a few cuts and bruises, his face was the result of what a Trench Tool would really would do. The demon's body toppled backwards into the clothes hamper.  
  
"I'm sure they can take care of themselves at that place.." said Romuski. As long as Ranma doesn't get splashed, thought James. "Have you got any weapons on you?" asked Romuski. "Just 2 Throwing Knives in my sleeve holsters" said James. Romuski swore. And then they leaped out for the darkness at James. Time actually froze. Romuski didn't notice a thing, untill he checked his clipping meter later. Romuski's computer used the tearm for Clipping as high movement and activity. There was three of them. The leader, who looked like something wrapped in a Grey robe, a neat one, not a tattey one like his two demon hencemen, was going at James throat with a pair of sharp talons. Romuski looked into the cowl of the robe and could only see darkness. Romuski swore again, he was wasting valuble second's. The Robot pulled out a Sawn-Off Shotgun from his greatcoat with his left arm, aimed blankly at the first two hostile and pulled the trigger. The Sawn-Off's powerfull recoil came into action but was defeated by the steel grip of Romuski. James, was seeing this in slow motion, and he knew it. He saw the shot, a inch and half away from his chest. The shot slammed into the Auditor, who was moving at James with glacier-like speed, ripping it's side apart. A small amount of shot that missed the Auditor hit the Demon in the chest and ripped it open, spilling oily thick yellow looking liquid in the air. Time unfroze and Romuski watched as the Throwing Knife zoomed through the air and into the throat of the last living demon. The demon colapsed on the ground, making disgusting bubbling choking noises untill it's head exploded. James jumped back and looked up to see Romuski holding a smoking Magnum. "Sorry, I should have warned you. Can't stand those noises..". James nodded and wiped the sweat off his brow. He looked at the ground, the demon's corpses were still there, both with pool's of there oily yellow blood, but the Auditor was missing. Romuski spoke and broke James out of his glance on his ground. "What the hell happend there?". "I don't know what you are talking about.." said James calmly, but clearly lieing. Romuski dropped the Smoking Sawn-Off onto the ground and aimed his Magnum at James. James broke into a new sweat. "No more Secret's now, Comrade. Answer my question".  
  
The shadows knew all about the action, and were all homing in on the area.  
  
"Why did time just slow down.." asked Romuski. "I really thought you would not notice that.." said James. "I almost didn't". James leaned against the wall, shaking slightly. "When I was summoned to the Patrician's office, along with a few friends of mine and briefed about this mission (why did they choose us anyway?, wasn't this thing more of a Warrior's Guild kinda quest?) you know, about the ring?". Romuski nodded. "My Parents told me something, they said I was a relative of Death, His Great Grandson to be precise. And if that wasn't enough, my Grandmother is time as well. I tell you, it was abit shocking and I didn't beleave it until the time slowing thing happend. Look at me, do I look like the swallower of Ocean's latest in the blood-line?". Romuski shook his head. "You'd think my name would have at least one Zed in it..." said James. Romuski then remembered one of the first rule of combat. Never stay in the same place, too long. "Shit!, Ve have to go!". Romuski ran forward and grabbed James the the collar of his expensive Agatean Silk Shirt, Assassin's Guild of Ankh-Morpork approved Item of Sektober 24th and ran, dragging the Student Assassin with him. "What about your Gun!" said James. "Forget it! I can buy a new one!". The Shadows oozed into the alley, paused to melt the demons, absorbed the liquified demons and then continued there slow chase.  
  
James and Romuski stumbled through countless alley-ways and doged back into the streets. They ran across the street into another set of alley's until they got to a dead end. "Bugger.." commented James. Romuski viciously punched the wall. The center of the Wall instantly shattered, and after the last brick had fallen onto the ground, Romuski dragged James through the hole in the wall and into another set of alley-ways.  
  
Nabiki, dressed in a plain sky blue dress, walked into the dining room and stopped. The orb's were still both hovering in the air, each of the bars were halfway filled. Nabiki turned around to fetch James and bumpted into Kasumi. "Whoop's, sorry 'bout that Kasumi. Is James up?". No, I'm afraid he left with a errand..sorry..". Nabiki turned around and looked at the orbs menu bars. "What do they say?". Nabiki mused. "The one of the left says 'Loading' in French, the one on the right must be German or Dutch. I asume it says the same thing". Nabiki checked the time. It was 5:18 PM. She sighed and waited for the Bars to fill.  
  
The duo slid into another alley-way. "No..more..please!" said James. Romuski made a 'tch..' sound but waited for James to catch his breath. "Do you know how to use a gun?". James looked up. "A Gonne? one of those things! No way!". Romuski slipped his Kalishnikov off his shoulder and slid off the safety catch. "I suppose our only way out is to fight?" asked James. Romuski nodded. "I had a damn sword, but I gave to that Soun fool, he should have remembered..". "But with that Slow-Motion talent of yours might come in handy". James managed to get most of his breath back. "I suggest stealth, those demon's aren't what you call smart". Romuski scanned the Alley-Way. "I've found my place to hide already...".  
  
Twelve Demons crept into the alley-way, all of them were holding something that looked like a sword, but with lot's of spikes added to increase the pain. They had chosen Hak-a-lak as there leader, because of the size of his Tenticles, not by his IQ. Frankly, It was amazing how long there species had lasted on the Discworld. Hak-a-lak looked the same, like all the other demon underlings. Hak-a-lak scanned the alley-way. On both sides, Trash and debris had collected. He detected nothing, but as he was leaving, he tasted the faint tinny taste of Octarine and then was looking back into the alley- way. James jumped gracefully from the roof of the Building that belonged to the right alley wall, landed smartly and snatched the thick nylon cord of his Grappling hook. Time slowed down, the world took a light blue tint to it. James swung the Grappling hook around once by the rope's end and released it into the crowd of demon's. Hak-a-lak and five other demons were mildy slapped by the Nylon Cord but the demon next to Hak-a-lak got the hook, plus the remaiding of the Nylon Cord around his neck. Then a arm punched through the Trash, and 3 rusty whale-oil drums rolled across the ground, and out of the trash rose Romuski Travishek with his Kalishinkov at the ready. "Go back to the depth's of hell!" cried Romuski. The flood of bullets from the Auto-Matic weapon flew into the crowd, instantly Killing the victim of the Grappling hook and two others. Hak-a-lak saw nothing but his target, the demon dived to the ground and crawled towards James, unoticed by the Metal-Golem. James had saw the leader himself and was trying to get his remaining throwing knife out of his left sleeve. One of the demons had also doged the deadly Gunfire and aproached Romuski. He discarded the sword, he decided he'd eliminate this thing by his own Tenticles and hands. The Demon leapt forward, trying to grab the Kalishikov from Romuski's hands, but Romuski stepped back. Fool! thought the Demon, who was called Daffak. Daffak leapt towards Romuski again, this time with Tenticles Stretched. He was planning to seize the Golum and crush it, but the Golem dived forward instead. Then Daffak felt cold ice in his Lungs. Romuski had planted his ribbed Kalishnikov bayonet into Daffak's chest and procided upwards, ignoring the disgusting sounds and screams of agony. Three Demons, Ran off immediatly. There was only 6 more left. Romuski had gunned down five and was finnishing off the 6th. That left James with the last one. James was backing off slowly from the demon who was inches away from him. Hak-a-lak had forgotten about the gunfire and was now standing up. Romuski had forgotten James, and was still Bayonetting Daffak. Time was now returning to normal, James ran up the alley-way, chased by Hak-a-dak. He turned around and let off a barrage of throwing knives at Hak-a-lak. James blinked and swore. He forgot that detail when he battling Ryoko, he could of defeated half of the Platoon without Romuski's help. He was now up against the wall, amazed at the fact that Hak-a-lak was still chasing him, even with 5 Knives in his gut. James turned around. He was trapped and he was going to die. Romuski looked up after he pumped a few rounds into Daffak's skull and swore. James closed his eyes. I wish I had a good sword right about now..". He opened his eyes and was shocked to find heavy broadsword with the blade of pure frozen time, his only link and proof to the fact he was part of the Death Dynasty. James turned around and plunged the sword into Hak-a-lak's abdomen. The battle was over.  
  
"Oh my!" said Kasumi, who had lost count of how many times today she had said that. Nabiki made a agreeing sound. The Loading Bar and Box had dissapeared. The orbs were now in the middle of the chests of two human shaped grids, What computer game characters look like under they're skin thought Nabiki. The one on the right looked slightly taller, but the one on the left looked thinner. Then two boxes for the each of them popped up. Nabiki read the one in French. "Loading Skin... I suppose the other says that as well..". The human shaped grid's suddenly became two human men. The right one had stern Germanic features, Blue eye's and sandy blonde hair. His hair had a natural grown look. It wasn't too long or too short. It was a plain haircut. The one of the left had a more Franco look, tall, slimmer than the other man on the right with a slightly larger nose. But the hair awe-stunned Nabiki. it was long, down to shoulders and was braided at the side with ribbons. Most of the ribbons were blue, and he also had a neat handlebar moustache. Nabiki's eyes strayed further down to the waist points. She grinned. Nabiki nudged her sister. "I get the one on the right, the guy on the left is yours..". "Nabiki!" said Kasumi, who blushed a bright red. It was bad enough seeing two naked men projections in her dining room, but her sister was making ecchi suggestions as well and the Dinner was not going to make itself. "Just kidding Kasumi..of course I could take them both on..". "Nabiki!". A new box popped up over each Man's chest. "It says, 'loading clothes'. Damn, I wish I got my camera when I had the chance. A few seconds ticked by and both the Men were now wearing clothes. The one on the right was wearing a Napoleonic era Uniform.(A/N: 16/Images/6ir.jpg- This a Prussian (N:Germany) Light Infantry Uniform, worn in the Napoleonic Wars). The Shako on his head made him seem very tall. The one one the left, had a very differant Uniform. For one thing, he wore a huge Bear-fur Cap, something like those guard's wore at outside The Queen of England's Palice, complete with a badge of a Eagle on it. He wore a much lighter blue jacket, which was closed up to the chest. Nabiki could see the jacket had some sort of rib pattern on one side. The other side, apart from a badge was blank. Nabiki could also see that both of the Men had scabbards with swords in them. The man on the lefts trousers were Blinding White and Skin Tight, the man on the right's trousers were slighty more baggier and they looked slightly more dirty as well. They both wore calve high Miltary boots, each made of cheap leather. The man on the rights boot's were scarred and dirty. Also, the man on the right was wearing small reading Specticles. Another box popped up. Nabiki read it automaticly. "Activating now..". The projection's flashed and took a much more solid look. Nabiki blinked. "Oh my!, very realistic.." said Kasumi. Both of the men blinked suddenly and turned around to look. Then they spotted each other. "L'ennemi!" exclaimed the one of the left, with a very light French accent. The one on the left widened his eyes and then screamed in rage, "Französischer Schwein-Hund!". They both reached for their Scabbards and drew real Kligenthal swords from the same place Akane must put her Mallet and slashed at each other at incredible speed and strength. Nabiki knew staying in here for awhile was going to be dangerous, so she dragged Kasumi towards the Kitchen as quick as she could. Behind her, The Prussian Light Infantry Man and French Napoleon Guard screamed Insult's at each other and fought a stale-mated duel.  
  
James and Romuski looked up heard voices. Voices from the Other group of demons, who had been alerted by the six who escaped. "Where did you get that..sword?". Romuski said the word sword like a Conservitive saying Goverment handouts. "I..don't know..". The Voices were getting louder. "Down!". Romuski grabbed James and threw him to the floor. James made a winded sound as he hit the ground. Romuski could see the many shadows of the group now. Opening his Greatcoat, the robot fiddled with one of his Bandoliers. "Catch what I throw down.." said Romuski. James caught 2 Clips and a Bayonet sheath. Romuski undid the Bandolier containing all his Grenades. He pulled the pin out of the closest one and threw it into the mouth of the alley-way. Then he two hit the ground, covering the most important part of his body, his face. There was a damp thump and the ground shook vilently. James felt something splatter against his face, and he felt a wave of nauseia flow through him. "You can get up now..". James looked up through his yellow flecked lenses of his glasses and saw Romuski Travishek staring at the gaping hole of where the mouth of the alley used to be. You could easily see the street. "Pity, Those Grenades were very expensive.." said Romuski. James looked the Splattered Alley-way. "Nice use of body fluids, reminds me a painting by Leonard Da Quirm..". Romuski looked up. "Who?". "Nevermind, let's just keep moving..".  
  
Nabiki peeked up from the Barracade of Metal buckets that the house had seemed to acumilate. The two European gaijins were still fighting in there. Nabiki winced when she noticed the minor damage, a crack in the wall, a dent in the wall, a broken painting or one of Akane's Martial Art's trophy's in the wall. Daddy is going to freak when he see's this, she thought. Behind her, Kasumi was cooking the evening meal with a look of calm and Tranquility. Nabiki turned around and looked at her sister, and then shook her head. "How can you cook at a time like this, Kasumi?". Kasumi looked up and smiled. "I'm sure they will tire themselves out..". "What about the damage?". "It's milder than the holes Akane puts in the roof..". Nabiki peeked out of the Barracade again. A Chair was broken and a few more cracks in the wall had apeared, others had snaked down. Also, the two rival's did not look the least bit tired, Which is impossible anyway, they're projections, holo-thingies, I saw them with my owns eyes she thought. Nabiki checked the time. It was 5:35 P.M."Oh god, I'm going to be late!" exclaimed Nabiki. She imagined a 10,000 Yen bill disintergrate into sand. Kasumi opened a Cuboard and exclaimed happily. "Oh! I'm glad you remembered these!" said Kasumi. Nabiki looked at the object she was holding between her hands. It was a medium sized box of Imported Tea-Bags. "I'm glad you remembered to pick these up, because after James display Yesterday, we needed a whole new box". Nabiki remembered James had drunk the entire contents of the Tea-Box they had yesterday. She winced at the thought of all that liquid consumed. You had to also feel slightly sorry for James, half-a-hour in the Bathroom can be agonising. James bladder should have gotten some award. "Oh yeah, that. Why?". Kasumi smiled cheefully and hunted for the Kettle. "Because, it's going to solve all out problems..". Nabiki blinked. "No way!, That's not going to work. What if you get injured?". "Now Nabiki, these Men look like perfect Gentlemen..I doubt they will hurt me..". Nabiki winced as she heard one of the Perfect Gentlemen's language. Then she heard something of great mass flow towards her direction and leap away from the Water Pail Barracade. A Chair, which Nabiki was sure they never had, crashed through the clumsy Barracade and had slid to a halt in the middle of the Kitchen. "It could be the only way.." continued Kasumi. And then, she finished making the Tea, got a tray, placed a few Mugs and a Teapot on it and gracefully left the Kitchen.  
  
The Prussian Infantry man growled and put as much downward pressure on the blade as possible. The French Napoleon Guard, however was slowly pushing his blade upwards against the Prussian Infantry man's Blade, trying to break the attack. They had been battling like this for almost ten minutes. Neither of them had noticed that had fatally sliced and stabbed each other in very fatal area's several times each. "Why von't you die, You Napoleon Vorshipping French Pig!?" snared the Prussian. "I was going to ask you the same question, mon ami.." sneered the French Napoleon's Guard. The Frenchman's sword started to slip, the odd thing was, it wasn't make the mettalic screeching sound that sword's usually made when clashed and scraped against each other. The Frenchman's Kligenthal slid from his hand and clattered onto the floor. The Frenchman stepped back and quickly shielded his face from the Prussian's forth-coming deadly blow. It never came. Otto blinked comicly at Kasumi, who had stepped between the two, clearly seeing the sword Otto was holding with both hands above his head ready to come down into a deadly cleaving strike, and had offered them tea. The Frenchman lowered his hands and looked at the German infront if him in the same comic stare. Kasumi's voice once again penetrated the silence. "..I said can I offer you some Tea Gentlemen?". The Prussian Infantryman dropped his cleaving pose and sheathed his sword into it's scabbard. The Frenchman picked his up and did the same. "We'd would like some Tea please miss.." said the Frenchman. Nabiki's jaw dropped.  
  
Several Rooftops away from the latest conflict area, James and Romuski were getting ready for another attack. Romuski was pouring over a map while James, next to a pile of Throwing Knives, was experimenting with this strange new happening. "Ve seem to be in the Yohukua District, Nermima is not that far away.." mused Romuski. James looked up from the knife he was playing delicately with. "So what is the plan?". Romusk placed the map flat on the ground, anchored it with some rubble and efficiently unshouldered his Kalishnikov, dropped the empty clip case on the ground and slotted it into the Soviet made Assault-Rifle. "Simple. Plan a quick and safe route, get back to the house unscathed and warn the others of these demons presence, by the way..". Romuski stood up and pulled a Jet-Black Dessert Eagle from his Greatcoat and handed it to James. "And what's this?". Romuski paused for a moment and pulled a Cigarette from nowhere, lit it, and placed it in the area in his glasses mouth which he hollowed out for his Cigarettes. "It's your new best friend, comrade.". James looked at the Dessert Eagle. To him to looked cold, mettalic and mass produced. "..I don't like it.." said James. "Vhy? decent gun. If you aim right it can take your enemy's head right off, Crack! like a ripe mellon". James griminced. cursing his detailed imagination. "I mean I don't like the feel, it just doesn't feel right when I'm holding it". "Tough, take what you can get. Next time we fight those guys, you might not be so lucky". Romusk then handed James three clips, each all filled with full Magazines. "When the gun is empty, release the empty magazine by using this catch here..". Romuski took the gun and pointed clearly to the release. "..Them simply slot the Clip in, and when the Magazine is empty, drop the clip like so..". Romuski showed James how to abandon the empty clip. "Also, to get it off the safety, simply pull back this catch here". Romuski did so. "I see.." said James. Could you show me how to do it again?". Romuski sighed and showed the process to James again.  
  
"Well..this is nice" stated Kasumi, sitting at the end of the table. The two European's both nodded, each of them sitting on opposite sides of the table, pausing every few moments to glare at each other, Kasumi sat on a Cushian in the normal Japanese style, Both the Frenchman and the German sat on there Cushian's in a awkward crossed-legs style. "Yeah..nice" said Nabiki, who was inspecting the damage. It was not as bad as she perceived. The furniture has received very minor or not damage at all, pieces of chair that Nabiki had never saw in her life littered the floor of the room. Her biggest concern was, the real crack, the one she saw that expanded back in the Kitchen. It started at the top of the wall, near the ceiling and continued to the halfway point of the wall. "Kasumi, do you think Daddy would notice?". The oldest Tendo sister nodded. Nabiki sighed. "I better call those guys who always fix our damage...I bet they are having a Golden age" she muttered and stalked out the room. "Do your Gentlemen like your Tea?" asked Kasumi, politely. The German picked up the Hello Kitty mug with both hands and took a sip. There was a small hissing sound as the Tea passed through the German's projected light and evaporated in the extreme heat. "If I vas alive, Mizz, I bet it vould taste lovely.." said the German seriously. "Indeed". agreed the Frenchman in impeccable Japanese. Kasumi smiled. "Oh, I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself.." said the Frenchman. "Henri Pauttleo of Napoleon's Guard Cavlary, Major, and my 'friend'..". This time, the German spoke up. "Otto Schmalberg of The Kaiser's Light Infantry, Captain". "Or I was.." said Otto bitterly. Kasumi looked at Otto and Henri, Henri seemed to be alot Older and Calmer, Otto however was young, barely over twenty and he had all the features of a Rouge. His blonde hair, long ach his shoulders, was tied back in a smart Georgian Pony- Tail. The Specticles, he wore, were large circle shaped ones with several small scratches on the glass. Otto also had a small scar on the edge of his Jaw. At the moment, his face contained a bitter and defeated look. He now put down the mug on the table and began toying with his Shako. Henri, however, was very differant. His hair was a normal haircut, except at the front where he had a few bangs with Ribbons tied to them. His skin tone showed he had once had a tan, that was now almost gone, and he had a well educated look on his face. You could also see the hint of his cheekbones on his face. A silence hung over the table. Kasumi decided to keep the conversation going. "So, where are you from?". "I am decended from the many Nobelmen outside Paris, until the Revoloution that is. Then I lived in Paris until the army called me up..". Kasumi sipped her Green Tea, she specially prepared herself. "What was Paris like?". Henri sighed. "It was wonderfull place, a place of culture, food and idea's. I wonder if it is still like that?". Otto snickered. "A zity like zat in Europe doez not last long. It probably is a long dead hole in ze ground..". Kasumi glanced in Henri's direction to see his reaction. Henri just sat there and took a sip of his tea. When the hissing sound faded, he looked sharply up. "Really, compared to your city of Berlin? a..what do you say? Cultural wasteland?". Otto gritted his teeth. "We'd thought you'd care enough about Berlin, but we were surprised at the weak resistence we got. I'm not Surprised, German culture is nothing during peace time". Otto stood up, hitting the table with his shins making it wobble and spill abit of Henri's tea. "You take that back, French scum!". Kasumi was wracking her brains to find a topic to detour violent action that looked unstopable. Then Akane walked in, wearing one of her normal dresses and paused. "Kasumi, who are these guys?". "Holo..holograms.." said Kasumi, still trying to figuire out a way to stop Otto and Henri from breaking out into another violent duel. "Losing your temper in front of our hosts, Otto? tsk tsk..". A look of embarasment flashed across Otto's face. "We are both sorry for the damage we have done.." said Henri as he watched Otto quickly sit back down. Akane walked around the room, Inspecting the damage like Nabiki had done. She spotted the crack in the wall. "We better get this fixed before daddy comes down..". Kasumi nodded. "Nabiki's phoning now..". Kasumi then sighed and stood up. "Oh dear, I have all this to clean up and I have to put Dinner on.." said Kasumi. Otto and Henri exchanged glances. Otto cleared his throat. "Excuse us, but me and Henri would like to take care of ze minor damage..". Henri nodded. "It is the least we can do..". "Oh, that is so kind" said Kasumi. She turned around and headed towards the Kitchen. Henri and Otto stood up, both of them putting they're Shako and Bearskin Cap back on. Akane sat down and watched as the two cleaned and cleared the room up in a efficient speed. She shook her head, when will the wacko parade end?.  
  
Ranma pushed open the doors of Ukyo's whistling a merry tune, his eyes half- closed. "Hey Uky-!". Ranma almost stood on the prone body of a Salaryman, who, he thought first was dead. Then Ranma noticed all sorts of people were lying on the ground, scattered around the food joint, or lying on the tables. He spotted Ukyo sprawled out on the counter, sleeping with a unreadable look on her face. Ranma hopped and stepped over the mind boggling amount of bodies on the floor, finaly reaching Ukyo. He quickly checked she was breathing by putting his palm of his hand near her mouth, shallow, but she's breathing thought Ranma. "Hey! Uk-Chan! Wake up!". Ranma started to shake Ukyo gently at first but the speed starting to increase at a eye watering rate. But Ukyo remained asleep. Ranma looked around desperately. "What the hell is going on?".  
  
James landed on the pavement a street away from the area he and Romuski had last discussed the map. He profesionally rolled on the ground to break the fall. He then stood up, checked the street for any hostiles. It was clear, good. However it was creepy how deserted the street was. James snapped his fingers twice and then whistled. There was a thud and the ground shaked briefly, Romuski had just stepped off the buildings roof and landed smartly on his feet, causing the ground to crack underneath him. He Immediatly unshouldered his Kalshikov, told James to follow, and ran. James quickly caught up and the two headed towards the direction Nerima was in.  
  
Akane groaned. Lots of of very very odd things were happening. She accepted James falling from the sky, the robot was a little weird but now, watching the two European Holograms Arm-wrestle was making her consider the sanity of Nerima, maybe the whole of Japan. The room was once more clean, apart from the crack in the wall, Kasumi was cheerfully making dinner and Nabiki had quickly left five minutes ago for a Doctor's apointment, or so she claimed. Akane doubted a Doctor would give you 10,000 yen notes for free, unless he was insane or very rich. She scanned the the pages of the Manga she was reading and then looked back up. It had been ten minutes since they got locked into a Stalemate and they both were starting to sweat, but only because of the detailed skin program copied many actions including sweating, crying and losing hair. They're hats (Holographic Images) lay scattered on the table. It was a surprise chalenge for Henri, who nabbed it right away. Now the two were locked in arms, both growling and sweating holographic images of sweat. Akane sighed, the low toned growling became really annoying after five minutes. She decided to make a suggestion. "Don't you think you guys have been doing that enough now? nobody's winning..". Otto and Henri glanced briefly at Akane. "Vhat? draw with ze French?" said Otto, countering the slightly rising strength of Henri. "Yeah". "DRAW with a Frog! I'd rather loze!". Then Otto's arm thumped onto the table at a very painfull angle. Otto yelped in surprise. "You got your wish.." said Henri. Otto flexed his arm to see if any damage was done, purely out of reflex. Kasumi briefly entered. "I hope you gentlemen aren't hungry..I'm afraid we don't have any food you'd like". Otto picked up his Shako and Henri placed his Bearfur Cap apon his head. "Thank you for your gracious offer, madame" said Henri. "But seeing as you say, projected images of our original selves..". "You mean our dead selves?" said Otto bitterly. "Whatever you wish to call it, as I was saying, we do not need to eat or drink..". Otto groaned. "Oh. Okay. Akane...have you seen Ranma anywhere?". Akane blinked. She remembered Ranma muttering going to Ukyo's, despite the fact Kasumi was almost finished with dinner. Ranma, you jerk! she thought, a brief flash of anger crossing her face."I'll go fetch him Kasumi-Chan.." said Akane sweetly, but she walked angrily out of the room. As soon as she had left, Otto started humming 'Ride of the Valkiers'  
  
Ranma had layed Ukyo down on the floor, leaving her to get a glass of water to splash in her face. He was so rushed he spilt some on himself and became Ranko without even noticing. She knelt down and tried to get Ukyo to stir from her sleep, well concealed by the counter. She froze when the door swung open and she heard voices, not very nice noises, very harsh accentless light voices. She quickly peeked up to see who it was and briefly saw two figuires, they're back turned because they were sitting on the stool's infront of the counter. Both of them were wearing ragged dirty Grey Robes. "Man, that spell really is powerfull.." hissed one of the figuires. The other figuire nodded. "Those Wizard's are usefull for something I suppose..". Figuire one spoke once more. "What's the name of the spell?". "Lillypucks fantastic Night Cap..". Figuire 2 then shook his head at the name. "Hey, any attractive young girls among them?" asked on the figuires Ranko froze, great she thought. "No. Pity". "Damn, why did we come in here?". "Because you smelt food, Narvikkah.." stated Figuire two. "Maybe, why are you here too, Snivvich?". "I happen to eat, as well..". "Whatever, let's just hope we get what we want and kill the spawn of the Death Family..". Ranko carefully picked up a normal spatula from the floor and rose slowly, tapping Snivvich's shoulder. Snivvich made a 'huh?' sound and turned around. Ranma slammed her first right into the center of the demons face and then fully rose and caught Narvikkah around the throat with her left arm and snatched the spatula from the ground with her free arm and pressed the stainless steel corner at Narvikkah's throat. "That's nice. Tell me some more..". (AN:Guess the Anime that scene was originally from...)  
  
James and Romuski lay on there stomach's ontop of a building looking down into the street. At the far end was Ukyo's and Outside of Ukyo's was alot of demons, some of them of evil cruel looking grey Horses. Many of the demons were carrying the swords James and Romuski had encounered earlier. Other were carrying what Romuski thought were pipes, but when he saw a butt, a Trigger and a sight on them he guessed vaguely what they were. "What are those?" he said pointing at one the many figuires armed. James looked through Romuski's plain brass Telescope, which was handed to him when the question asked. "Those are Gonnes, like yours.." said James. "Invented about 35 years ago on the Disc by Lennard Da Quirm, a great man who has invented many things. Some good, some bad. The bad ones are not on purpose..". "The plans were seized by the Patrician and handed down to the Guild, to keep in a locked box in a Museum...but it was stolen by the last Guild Leader, who went on rampage with it". "If I was on the Disc, and they found out I passed this info to you, I would have had to have a brief chat with authority" said James quietly. "Better than most things..". "No, Romuski, When I say chat with authority, I'll be killed in a very violent way. Possibly with Pikes. Better than having a talk with Lord Veternari at any rate..". James paused and shuddered. "Describe this 'gonne'..". James went through the general description. "No, how many bullets can it fire?". James frowned, remembering his earlier experiance doging the bullets. "Six Max. They have slots of Six bullets they shove in it and they eject when empty, like those clips of yours..". Romuski noted these details. "Now, how are we going to get out of here?". "We could take another route..." replied Romuski. James shook his head. "They'll pick our scent up, eventually..". Romuski considered another idea. "We could fight, like men..". "Are you kidding? there is at least a hundred of them, forty of them Armed with Gonnes, the rest with Swords or Pikes..". "Pikes?". "They're in these holsters on the horses, wicked looking rusty things..".  
  
Ranko dusted her hands. She had justed dragged the two demons, after tying them up, and dumped them in the storeroom, making sure she had locked the door. Ranko had noticed there were alot of these guys outside, armed with with various weapons. Most of them were not looking at the shop, but up or down the road as if they were waiting for someone. Ranko knew they were waiting for. She got as much as she could holding Narvikkah at Spatula point. Acording to the demon, the James they were after was the one staying at the Tendo residence. Apparantly that's all Ranko could get out of the demon, she quickly knocked him out and went to look for some rope. She found some in the store room, went to tie up Snivvich first, then walked towards Narvikkah, who was lying face down on the floor. She spotted three or four Tenticles, all looking like something out a La Blue Girl manga. She shuddered and tied Narvikkah up. She spotted Narvikkah's sword, picked it up and damaged the tenticles on both demons, so they couldn't untie themselves when they woke up. After that, she dragged them both to the store cuboard and locked them up. She dropped the sword and went to get some hot water. She found the sink where she got the glass of water, turned the hot tap and waited. Nothing came out. "What the hell?".  
  
Somwhere, far north of Tokyo, was a Water Plant with a medium sized hole through the ceiling. Inside the water plant, several of the main pipes were bent quite badly, one of them had the legs of the unlucky thief who tried to mug James. Several Plant workers were milling around talking, the place had a medium amount of Tokyo's Fire Brigade. A flushed faced Supervisor was talking to one of the Firemen. "Still in there Mozoki?" asked the Fireman. The Supervisor nodded. "We can't get him out, look's like we will have to sacrifice the pipe he's in..". The Fireman nodded and left the Supervisor, told another fireman and then walked towards the pipe. He aproached the pipe and rapped the area near the protruding legs. "Hello. This is Akiri Yamuguichi..I'm a fireman. Do you hear me". A muffled reponse from the pipe was heard. "Good, listen very carefully. We can't pull you out, so we are going to used a medium sized saw. It might get a little close and snag you. It's pretty rusty, so you are going to need some serious tetnus shots afterwords as well..". The Thief in the pipe whimpered.  
  
"Must be something wrong with the pipe.." muttered Ranko, turning it off. She considered heating up some water when she heard some heavy movement outside. The deceided to leave it and get out of here. With one last looked at Ukyo, who was concealed behind the counter, she uttered a quick prayer and exited out of the side door.  
  
Ranko closed the door silently and tip toed to the enterence of the alley. She quickly peeked out and back in again. There was alot of them, crowded outside Ukyo's and sprawled onto the street. Some even had horses. She silently crept towards the back of the alley way not noticing the discarded sawn off shotgun untill her foot hit it. She froze, but nobody came. Ranko wiped the sweat off her brow. She looked at the shotgun on the ground. Ugly little thing, she thought. Never the less, she considered taking it as a weapon. She decided not too, mainly because she had no idea how to use it. She leaned against Ukyo's wall and started up at the sky. It was very heavy with dark grey looking clouds. She scanned the top of the buildings as well, and then just as she passed the furtherest one she could see for the 2nd time, she spotted a glint of glass. She blinked. Should I go where that blink is?, maybe I should stay here. Ranko's gut told her staying near a bunch of demons with tenticles with just a brick wall blocking there view. Ranko decided to investigate the glint of glass. She hoped the demons would be watching just the street still, she moved back slightly and jumped lightly but high into the air. She landed on the top of the building next to Ukyo's and instantly fell onto her stomach and paused. They're was no sound. Ranko hoped they thought that movement was just a bird. She crawled to the far right of the buildings roof and repeated the performance.  
  
Soon, Ranko was on the very last building in the street.. She had to jump two more times and climb the wall silently to the top of the building where the glint was. She took a deep breath and crossed the street in one gigantic jump.  
  
Frensic poked Kakkagh and pointed to Ranko's movement, mistaking it for a bird. The two nodded and fired they're gonnes blindly, pausing only to sadisticly laugh and then grow bored once more.  
  
Ranko gasped as she heard three rushes of air near her back and landed clumsily on the roof top. She resisted the urge to scream and held it in. What the hell was that?" she thought. Ranma, crawled across the rooftop and deceided to climb the last building. She carefully dropped from the top of the building. Ranko carefully and quietly landed silently and tip toed to the wall of the last one. She scrabbled up the buildings wall, crossed the last and easly lept to the building where she saw the glare of glass. She landed and instantly saw who it was and she was not surprised. James was sprawled out on the floor peeking over the ledge with a Telescope, Romski was a little bit away from his cleaning his dismantled Magnum with a oily rag. Both immediatly looked up at her as she landed. James rolled on the ground, controlling his scream with his eyes bugging out. Romuski just went back to cleaning his gun. "Get the hell down!" hissed James. Ranko blinked. "Oh yeah!". Ranko quickly dropped to the ground. She crawled over to Romuski. "What's the matter with him?" she said. "Him?, he's just edgy at the thought of dying..". James went back to scanning the huge group of demons with the Telescope. He groaned. "I have no idea's, how about you?". Romuski put down the oily rag and started to fit the gun together. "I have fragments of one..". "Let's hear it then, Uk-Chan's down they're all alone, and with creep's like that..". Ranko paused and shuddered. Romuski put his hand in his great pockets and removed two small things. He held them up into the light. They were both very small, and they looked like lumps of black Plastic. "These, are Irananov Landmines, the smallest but powerfullest in the world. They're the most hard to detect, being made from plastic explosives, mostly..". Ranko was not impressed. "That's no use, don't you have to step on those things to make them explode?". Romuski glared at Ranma. "Let. Me. Finish". Ranko shivered at Romuski's tone. "Okay! Okay! geeze!". "And..?" said James, who was enthusiastic about this plan. Anything to get rid of them. "I can easily toss these in the middle of the street, they'd be mistaken for rocks or something. Maybe they'll send someone over, we can easily deal with them". James nodded. "Silent Killing is what I'm trained for..". "The question is, how are we going to get the whole group of them to walk over the mines. They'd just shoot you and me, so it has to be something valued...something they want..". The two both went into thinking poses, Romuski rubbing his forehead, James tapping his chin. Ranko blinked for a moment and then groaned. "..I know what you are going to think..". James raised a eyebrow. "Really?". "You are going to say, "What are they going to desire the most?" and he'll say "What do demons with tenticles desire the most..?", and then..". "Chocolate Pudding..?" said James. Ranko paused. "What?". "What do demons desire the most". Chocolate pudding.." stated James. "Comrade, where in hell would we get Chocolate Pudding?" said Romuski. James shrugged. No!, Girls! Schoolgirls in short dresses! Sleazy things like that". James looked at Romuski with astonishment. "Is that what you were thinking?". "No. I was thinking what every Mercenary would want. Gold, and since there is no gold here and Ranma has suggested..". Ranko swore. "Dammit, I just volunteered myself didn't I?". James and Romuski nodded. Ranko groaned.  
  
Five minutes later, Ranko was staring blankly at the long sleeved shirt she was holding, half of it had been torn off. Romuski, the wearer, had given it to her. Tall as Romuski is, he's very narrow as well. "This will barely fit me!" she said. "Zat's the whole point.." muttered Romuski. "You have to be appealing to this horde, apealing enough to cause chaos and get them all to run straight at you...". Ranko blinked. "Why?". "I will throw the mines in the middle of the street all you have to do is run past, make yourself noticible, lure them towards the mines and..". Romuski clicked the safety off the AK-47. "Make sure you don't get the hell blown out of you..". Ranko stared distastefully at the shirt. "If this goes wrong..". Romuski lit a Cigarette. "Don't worry, it won't..besides if it does, you can defend yourself and we'll surprise them as a back up plan..". "Not much of a back up plan.." muttered Ranko. "Better than nothing...". "Now get ready..". Romuski and James turned around as Ranma struggled into the small shirt. "Ready!". James and Romuski turned around. James closed his eyes. "Yikes! This shirt really shows my chest off!". The Shirt was straining against Ranko's asset's, clinging flatly to half her madriff while showing the other half bare. Ranko pulled her Dragon Trousers up as far as she good. James steeled himself mentally and opened his eyes. "This has to work..". "Excelent..let us procede with stage one!". Romuski threw the two pieces of plastic right down into the middle of the street. "let's hoped nobody noticed.." said James. Romuski briefly crossed himself. "Get Going, Ranma". Ranko nodded and moved towards the edge of the quickly. She started climbing down the building, ignoring her assets. God, this better had work she thought. Ranko made it to the bottom and turned around she was in the direct line of two of the demons. The demons both looked at each other and nodded. They then both ran recklessly into the alley-way towards Ranko. Then in a few seconds, the two were clawing at the throwing Knives in they're throats. James and Romuski stealthily climbed down the building. When they reached the bottom Ranko shook her head. "That was close..". Romuski unshouldered his Kalishnikov, James tugged the Dessert Eagle from his pocked and held it carefull in his right hand. Ranko nodded, took a deep breath and broke out of the alley-way into a run. She then broke out into a sterotypical bimbo scream.  
  
The demons had sent scouts to find the source of where those rocks had come from, were stunned to see a half-topless girl run out of a alley-way screaming 'Eeeeeek!' and grabbing the demons attension instantly. Ranko's asset's and the shirt had did they're work, she had crossed the street and immediatly turned around and headed towards the alleyway. Somebody in the crowd of demons called out "First demon get's her get's first p-" but thankfully the rest of the sentence was drowned out by the roar of all the starved demons who charged forward in a horde. One of them stepped on the first line, at the same time one of the sinister looking Horses stepped on the other. Ranko turned around and threw herself to the floor as the explosian rocked the ground. A few moments passed, Ranko started to sweat. The Redhead stood up and viewed what was left of the area infront of her. It was, to put it bluntly, decimated. The street where the landmines had been was totally ripped up, leaving scattered debri, a huge crater, former pieces of demon and most alarming a huge fire. Ranko heard the screams of fright and pain from the demons. "I wonder if we've halfed the odd's..". "Get her!". Ranko blew the head off the leading demon with a Chi blast, but the 5 others had things that looked like guns aimed at her. "Shit!" swore Ranko. One of the demons put down his weapon, grinned evily and walked towards her, Tenticles suddently slippingout of his robe and then he was jolted sideways as a bullets riddled through his body. Ranko watched as Romuski and James sprang from the nearby Alley-way, steeled up for the attack. Three of the demons were ripped apart by the Kalishnikov fire, James ran towards the last one, who raised his gun at the student Assassin and they both fired at the same time. The Dessert Eagle, much powerfuller than than the weaker version of a early rifle disintergrated the demons head, while the bullet from the demons Gonne seriously grazed James left arm. The last one dropped his weapon and tried to flee. Ranko cut him down with a Chi blast. "You okay?" asked Ranko. James nodded, trying to ignore the mild stream of blood staining his black Agatean silk shirt. Romuski tore a piece off a robe of one of the dead demons and tied it tightly around James wound. James thanked the robot and they both turned around and looked at the devistation they caused. Ranko whistled. "Those mines cost me something.." muttered Romuski. James blinked and squinted. The fire had spread into a Curtain in the street, leaving a few gaps in it. But was that more movement on the other side of the fire?  
  
Jannkah was angry. A minute ago, he and his friends were chasing a busty racehead and a minute later all his freinds were dead, the group was scattered around this devastated area, The commanding Officer has vanished ages ago. Most of the horses were dead, along with they're riders. Gonnes, swords and Pikes littered the area as well as bodies of the demons. Jannakah growled. He heard gunshots from the other side of the fire-curtain and quickly gathered the survivers together.  
  
"Oh god's, there's plenty of them left!". James pointed at the movement on the other side of the fire curtain. "Better get a Weapon.." Romuski said to Ranko. Ranko nodded and searched the ground for something suitable for a Martial Artist. She found a slightly singed Cavlary Pike with a blade attached to it as well. A very rusty and serrated blade. The words, Bone saw, popped in Ranko's head for a moment. She picked it up and span it around in her hands. She swung and thrust it in the air a few times, then held it full satisfied. Romuski knelt on the ground and aimed his Kalishnikov at the fire curtain, ready to switch his aim. James placed a Index finger on his head. "...For what we are about to receive.." muttered Romuski. The Horde charged through the area's uneffected by fire and were instantly replied with gunfire.  
  
They're were some Horsemen left, Romuski noted as he fired. Five to be exact. One of them had a sword, the rest had the pikes Ranma was holding. Romuski fired a quick burst and plucked one of the Riders of they're horse. He pulled the trigger again, and heard a click. He released the empty clip and searched for the last one. As he was applying his clip to his gun, James was taking out the demons that had got the closest, Romuski watched James fire at a demon running towards him with his sword outthrusted and then staggered back as his chest disintergrated. Romuski opened fire with his newly reloaded weapon and cut down the other two horsemen before the horde reached they're targets. At least they're was thirty of them left, and twelve of them made the mistake going for Ranko. Ranko simply thrust the pike into the neck of the first demon, span around with the Pike Outthrusted to stop a circle from forming and then dashed forward in every direction a demon was in and killed them each with a fatal thrust. Ranko winced as her last target sliced her shoulder in a attempt to decapatate her, causing a mild cut. The demon who just did that was not so lucky. James was moving quickly, blasting the demons that he aproached at close range and he was soon through his two clips. "Oh bugger!" thought James as her heard the gun click as he aimed at his target, the horseman with the sword. The Horsemen chopped down viciously and James jumped back, watching the tip of the blade rip through his shirt. James felt a flare of anger, that shirt has cost him 27 Ankh-Morpork Dollar's. Then he remembered the huge Broadsword that hung from his Knife Belt clumsily. James pulled it out quickly and sliced the sword at the horse. The Horse paniced, threw it's rider off and started to trample the demon. James moved back, holding the sword in a defensive position. After the horse finnished Trampling the Rider, it fataly attacked another demon and then was cut down by a Gonne bullet. James rolled across the ground doging another Gonne bullet and looked down at the mess of the rider. Serves you right he thought. James attacker with the gone was mowed down by Romuski, along with three more demons before Romuski's Kalishnikov ran of bullets. Several demons with swords ran towards Romuski and quickly encircled him. Romuski held his gun tight to him, the Bayonet dull with the blood of the demon he'd killed earlier. The robot lunged at one demon, who knocked the Auto-Matic Rifle out of Romuski's hands. The demon threw it quickly behind him and laughed. Romuski noticed a battered sword belonging to the species that had just taken his weapon right near his foot. Romuski stomped on the pommel and the think sword with spikes flew up into the air Romuski caught it by the handle, held it in both hands and slashed out in most direction's, cutting his attackers throat's and pierceing there hearts. The only demon left was the one that humiliated Romuski and removed his beloved Kalishnikov. The demon started to back up, he'd dropped his sword in shock when he saw Romuski despose of the other demons. Romuski slashed at the demons neck, and decapatated him instantly. The body landed on the ground and twitched. Romuski held the sword in one hand and picked up his Kalishnikov by it's shouldertrap. He noticed there wasn't much demons left. Ranma had slammed the pike through one of the last mounted demons and blasted the other mounted demons. James was locked in a very quick duel, won by the fact that he had cleaved his enemy's head in. Then the remaining demons broke, they ran for it. Six or seven of the demons ran down the road. Romuski calmly pulled his Magnum out and took aim. Somebody tapped James shoulder as James carefully wiped and pushed the broadsword into his Knife belt. James turned her head and was punched out. He fell to the floor and was dragged off towards another set of alley-way's. As they began to drag him, James cut his finger on his own sword and groggily pressed the ground lightly, leaving a light bloody finger print. Also, the cloth bandage from James Gonne bullet graze and fallen off and left a thick smudge. James dissapeared into a alley-way.  
  
Akane stalked around the corner, fuming and muttering things about Ranko that'd turn the wind blue. When she was in full view of the devastated street, she stopped and gaped. In the middle of the street was a crater, small fires and large amount's of Debri. Half of the fire of Curtain had died out now. She saw several figuires standing in the middle of the street. Romuski, Ranma and four other things..better make that three, corrected Akane as one of them dropped dead from Romuski's gun. Romuski finished two off, but they're was one left at the futherest end of the street. Ranko kicked a piece of debree which flew into the ait and landed on the last demons head. Akane ran towards her fiance. "Ranma! Are you okay?" she asked when she finaly reached her. Despite a few cuts and bruises she had received from the battle or being to close to the explosion, she was mainly okay. "Yeah, I'm fine" said Ranko quietly. Akane hugged Ranko. "Uh, Ranma..why are you wearing a ripped thin shirt.." questioned Akane. Ranko sighed. "Ask the gaijin's, they'll tell you you the whole action packed story..". Ranko waved a hand in Romuski's direction. "Hey, where did James go?". Romuski Travishek noticed and swore rather violently, kicking a huge piece of road into the air. "Poor bastard.." muttered Ranko. She knew these guys would be rather pissed off, and in the mood for some torturing and revenge. Looking at the weapon's the dead demons once held, Ranko shivered. Akane blinked. "What IS going on?" the Tomboy asked. Romuski swore once more. "James was kidnapped by those damn things right under our damn noses..". Akane saw Romuski Travishek did not take defeat well. Akane examined the ground. As well as battered weapons, debri and scorched ground, she saw drying light yellow liquid and burnt chunk of what she first thought was pork. Then she knew what it was. Then something caught her eye, a small spot of red, with a red smudge quite near. Then she spotted the torn bloody cloth bandage. She carefully picked it up and looked it over. "Ranma, you said you saw my shotgun earlier?" asked Romuski, who finaly dropped the sword he'd use to kill several demons. Ranko nodded. "In the alley-way next to Ukyo's, can you also check on Ukyo as well?". Romuski nodded and walked off towards the alley-way next to Ukyo's. Ranko looked at the corpse of the dead rider, with a pike sticking out of his rib's. She considered taking the pike home and mounting it up on a plaque. She shook her head. "That's a stupid idea.." she said quietly. Akane looked up. "What?". "Nothing, what you got there?". "Something I've just found, did you really do all this?". She motioned to the hole. Ranko shook her head. "Explosives, The Russian's..". Romuski came back a few minutes later, putting his Sawn-Off Shotgun under his greatcoat. "She's fine..". Akane stood up. "You know those things right ?, did they bleed red blood?". Romuski and Ranko shood they're head's at the same time. "They bleed this yellow oily stuff.." said Ranko with a look of disgust. A small amount had splashed on the shirt she was wearing. Akane held up the makeshift bandage, with a flower of blood in the center. "Seen this before?". "Yeah, that was his badage..". "Also, check this out..". Akane pointed to the light trail of blood marks that led into another nearby alley-way. "I can't beleave I never spotted that.." said Romuski. "Ranma, get changed and throw away that shirt..". Ranko catched the Chinese Red Shirt. "As for me, I'll scout ahead and wait for you too..". Romuski ran right into the alley-way. "Hey! Wait!" called Akane. "Is he mad?, we have to think about something like this?". Ranko shook her head. "He can fight for himself..". The two left for the cover of Ukyo's.  
  
Gazzard never saw Romuski as she darted around the shadow's with a impossible silence and grace. When the Rifle Bayonet pierced his stomach, and the butt slammed into his head he did. The demon gracefully fell to the floor, Gonne slipping out of his hand. Romuski caught the Gonne and placed it down quietly. He killed the other scout ontop of the building to the left of the Alley-Way he entered. He climbed the building at a startling speed and slit the other demon's throat with his detatched Kalishnikov bayonet. The Bayonet, crusty with several demons blood was now attached to the Lee-Enfield Bolt Action Rifle, Romuski made sure his Bayonet were made for all types of guns. Romuski quickly concealed the 2nd scouts body. He then turned around and waited for Ranko and Akane.  
  
James opened his eyes and closed them again as a pain darted through his head. He carefully opened his eyes once more. His vision was hazy, he knew both his wrists were bound, he was pinned up against a wall with his clothes. Infront of him was two grey blobs. His vision finaly cleared and then, he wished it didn't. He was staring right intoa empty hood of a auditor. James soul chilled for a few seconds. #Sto-Helit, to your left is a demon called Nizzkard, he has no weapon's. To your right is a demon call Farzark, he has a Gonne aimed at your head..both will inflict major pain and death if you don't co-operate#. "But..if I co- operate...you'll kill me.." croaked James. This was awarded with a silence and James felt a first slam into his gut. The world whited out. "What..ring?". The Auditor stared blankly at James. He turned to the Twilight-Auditor and whispered something. The Twilight-Auditor barked out a order and the demon on James left punched James again. #I ask you, where is it?#. James smiled grimly. "Why is..a..raven like a writing desk..?" asked James wondering where the hell that comment came from. #Sto-Helit, you will tell us..". James was winded again as another punch slammed into his gut.  
  
Romuski Travishek tapped his foot impatiently, when he finaly saw male Ranma and Akane run towards the alley-way. "Ready!". Romuski noticed Ranma had the pike he was using earlier, Akane was holding one of the vicious looking swords. "Did you have any trouble?". Romuski threw the stub of his Cigarette on the ground and chuckled. "None at all. Just a few unfortunate scout's..follow me and keep your weapon's at the ready". Akane and Ranma nodded.  
  
James groaned, his glasses were hanging off his face and his eyes were watering. He felt as it he'd swallowed one of those Grenade things Romuski used. There was a click and James felt the end of the cold Gonne barrel on his Temple. #I'll ask you one more time, spawn of the interfearer...where is the ring?#. "....". #Answer or you'll die.# ".... I won't tell you..". The Auditor shook his head. #Very well, you will die. Proceed with the execution#. James was surprised, he didn't actually think they were going to kill him. He closed his eyes, regretting many things Including wearing his most expensive clothes today. Inside James, the Thuam's were screaming, trying to figuire out a way of how to save they're host. Then something else was triggered, something that made magic look like a toy. James eyes snapped open, But behind the glass of his specticles was the deep blue glow of several dying Nova's. The Twilight-Auditor stepped back making a scared sound. The Auditor next to him watched without showing any emotion. James hands moved right through the rope's hemp. James stood they're massaging his hands for a few moments. He turned to look at the demon holding the Gonne and grabbed the weapon by the Barrel and dragged it from his hands. James examined the weapon closely. Then in he slammed the Gonne down on the demon's head very gracefully. James turned to the other demon, the one that had punched him. He adjusted his specticles and smiled. The 2nd demon looked behind him and considered fleeing. Then James spoke. ISN'T THIS A DRAMATIC TURN IN EVENTS?... James snapped his fingers and the Hourglass of the Twilight Auditor who was sneeking up behind him with the Gonne apeared. It was almost empty. James threw the Hourglass on the floor and trod on it. The Twilight-Auditor burst into flames. The other Auditor just faded away. The Auditor who'd been punching James for almost twenty minutes straight was now staring into James Specticles, where the blue glow was magnitised. He couldn't run. Can't. Run. James aproached him, and drew his Broadsword from his Knife belt. And then he grinned a jolly grin.  
  
Akane and Ranma's heads shot up when they heard a scream that echoed in the cramp alley-way's. "What the hell was that!?" they both exclaimed. Romuski ran forward, Akane and Ranma stumbled over the the Debri in the Alley-way.  
  
When they entered the area James was in, they had to rub they're eyes. The walls were splattered with demons blood, there was things that vaguely resembled once bodies on the ground. On one wall was several lines of Morporkian, written in the oily yellow blood. Romuski Travishek made a impressed noise and inspected the alley-way. "Ouch, this is macabre" muttered Akane. They all closely inspected James. He was Kneeling clutching his sword, hilt first blade down in the ground. He was strangely wearing that tatty black robe. He looked like some sort of Georgian Gentlemen posing as a Medievil Knight. Ranma spotted the corpse of one of James unfortunate captors and went grey. "Oh Man..". "What'cha looking at Ranma?" asked Akane. Akane noticed the Corpse. "Ouch! He must have been the screamer..". Ranma went to amusing shade of green. "And you guys cry at just a kick down there, this must of really hurt..oooch..he twisted the blade as well..". Ranma darted into a dark corner to throw up. Romuski kicked James mildly to wake him up. "Piss of Smudger Prinklens! I don't care if they're giving out free bacon.." muttered James. Romuski and Akane sweatdropped. Romuski fired his Rifle into the air. James opened his eyes slowly and yawned. "Oh hello, Romuski. Battle over yet?". James stood up and stretched and then looked at the robe he was wearing with astonishment. He then viewed the general area. "Ouch, you really messed them up" muttered James. Akane, Romuski and a newly arived pale Ranma. "Uh, we think you did all this.." said Akane. James blinked and looked at the same Corpse Ranma and Akane were glancing at a moment ago. "Did I really do all that..?" said James. He'd never seen such messed up corpses since the Icono-Graph's of the Most Violent Assassin, Mr Teatime. (Pronounced Tea-ah-ti-me) And that was 26 years ago. James glanced at his sword and the writing in Morporkian on one of the alley-way walls. "Well, I guess I did this..I don't remember any of it..". James stood up. Ranma and Akane looked at each other in astonishment. "What does it say?" asked Akane. James scanned the writing on the wall. "It's mainly a combined protection and warding off spell..with some very foul words". James blushed, thanking god he was the only one here who could read Morporkian. Ranma shivered. "This place is giving me the creep's, let's go..". Romuski nodded. "Oh I remembered, Kasumi had Dinner waiting for us.." said Akane. "Great! I haven't eaten at all today!" said James. They all proceeded to walk out the alley-way. James bent down and grabbed the Gonne and then winced as a sun beam pierced his eyes. "At last! The weather is clearing up.." said Akane. James felt a electric charge of good will zap through him and smiled. He walked out with the Gonne.  
  
As Akane and Ranma emerged from the alley-way, quite abit from the two gaijin's and stopped for a brief chat. "Hey, did he seem a little taller than usual?" asked Akane. Ranma nodded. "Yeah, a Inch or so..". They paused as Romuski and James walked past. "What the hell is going on?" asked Akane. James and Romuski were both having a discussion. James was feeling quite cheefull, and didn't even feel the pain of his injury's. He paused and turned around. "Hey Lovebirds! chit chatting! You can do that when we get home!". Akane and Ranma frowned and broke up the conversation. They all aproached Romuski standing in the middle of the road examining the destruction. "Comrade James, stay behind for abit". James groaned. "Please tell me why?". "We have to clear up this mess, the bodies are almost decomposed but we have to get rid of all the weapon's". The bodies of the demons were now almost dry powder, they must decompose faster here thought James. Maybe it was the air, James detected a thick sour taste in the air. So Ranma and Akane set off and James helped Romuski clear the weapons and empty the dust out of the robes. While Romuski was disposing of robes, James browsed around the pile of weapons in a empty dumpster and took several Gonne clips. He paused and stuffed some more in his pockets. These Gonnes might be usefull. When all was done, Romuski called the Police and reported the damage and they both walked away from the crater and out of the street. When James passed Ukyo's, Ukyo waved at him with one hand while rubbing her eyes. She then went back to getting all the people she had found in her shop out of there. Ten minutes later, The police showed up.  
  
Kuno sat on a Bench in Nerima park, listening to Sasukis's latest report. Sasuki had seen the last moments of action at Ukyo's street, and presumed James was behind it as two demons dragged James into a dark alley-way. Kuno was very pleased. "So the demon Satome has released apon Nerima has other plans.." concluded Kuno. Sasuki nodded rapidly. "And when the attack was beaten back by the unknown defenders, the coward fled being dragged by two demons". Kuno rubbed his chin in deep thought. "We cannot alow such a menace to stalk our fair streets! We must go to the darkest means to eliminate Satomes demon..". "You mean..but isn't that a little extreme?". "Even so, faithful wretch, we must do it. Contact the most experianced fellow Ninja you could find..off quickly to your guild house!". Sasuki fled as fast as he could. Kuno waited on the bench for Nabiki to arive. Nabiki did arive. "Ah, fair Nabiki Tendo, doth thou savior..". Nabiki grinned, pulling the Polaroids out of her pocket.  
  
"We're home!" anounced Akane casually. Kasumi peeked into the hallway and gasped. Akane and Ranma gad just removed they're shoes and Romuski was polishing a bottle of Champagne. But what really alarmed Nabiki was the battered look from the latter two. Romuski's Greatcoat with splattered with something and torn in some places. James clothes looked slightly the same but what alarmed Kasumi the most was the medium sized blood stain on James left arm. "Ah, Chateu 1881" said Romuski, gazing lovenly at the Champagne he was holding. "Sorry for taking so long Kasumi" apologised Akane. Kasumi nodded briskly. "Oh my! Are you alright James?" asked Kasumi. James did not know how to respond to that. "We have to clean those wounds, into the Bathroom right this minute!". Nabiki ushered the exhausted James towards the Bathroom and then searched for a First Aid Kit. Romuski followed Akane and Ranma into the Dining Room and was surprised to find Otto and Henri playing a game of chess.  
  
James sat on the toilet seat and shivered. on the floor was his dirty slightly damaged best shirt that he once wore with pride. Next to him, Kasumi was bandaging the graze on his arm. James had a few big plasters on his hands and arms, plus a one on his cheek. He was currently holding a Ice- Pack to a huge bruise on his stomach caused by one of the demon henchmen. He winced as Kasumi made the final touches to the bandage. "Done. How did you get all these wounds?" she asked. James shifted position on the tub. "I have no idea myself, Miss.Kasumi". James winced again as he removed the Ice- Pack. "Oh my! I forgot about Dinner!" Kasumi quickly rushed off towards the Kitchen. James gathered enough power to stand up, head towards the Dojo to get a new shirt on. He passed the clothes basket, not noticing the pair of feet sticking comicly outwards.  
  
"Ah, Chateu 1881. I am older that this, monsier, but I can reccomend it. It's made in Parisian Vineyards?" said Henri, handing the bottle of French Champagne with care. Romuski welcomes the bottle back. "A price like that, I expect ze French Farmers spit in it.." muttered Otto. "German Beer tastes like a mixture of piss and elderberries." counted Henri with a snarl. The remark about his Nation's wine hurt him badly. Otto took this the same way, and was about to pull out his 18th century broadsword when Romuski stopped them both. "Comrades!, this is not the time for petty freud's and fights.." said Romuski. "Are you not reborn? In a world very differant from the one you left?" asked the Russian Robot. A musing expression came across his face. "In a sense..". "Then let us shrug off our feuds and Nation's hate for each other and enjoy this expensive Champagne!". Henri nodded in agreement while Otto, with a bored look on his face, played with the feather on his Shako. "Mr. Tendo? would you like a glass on Champagne?". Tendo, who had been sitting at the table with a look of manical glee looked up. "I would be delighted!". Akane looked up from the small Math homework she had been doing and rolled her eyes. She saw what had uplifted her Fathers spirit's. It was sitting in a crate in the living room waiting to be opened. Romuski Travishek went back to listening of the tales his new found friends told him. Kasumi ran past briefly muttering something about dinner. James walked passed bare-chested and returned a few minutes later in another new shirt, that looked like the old one but much more duller and rougher. He sat at the edge of the table and watched the Holograms wearily. The blonde one was sulking, The one with the braided hair and moustache was talking to Romuski in fluent French. James sat silently listening to the two for awhile. Finaly Romuski spoke plain Morporkian (Actually Japanese) to James once more. "Comrade James, this person here is Henri Pauttleo of Napoleon's Guard Cavlary..". Henri extended his arm across the table for a handshake. James complied, it felt strangly warm. "And this is Otto Schmalberg...". Otto nodded in James direction. "Ze Kaiser's Light Infantry, Austerliz..". "Oh, Is that your place of Birth?" James enquired. "Death actually.." said Otto. James blinked. "They are Holograms.." said Romuski. "Holo-what's?" muttered James. He was controlling the urge to gom over to Henri and put his hand through his chest, to see if he was a ghost. But that would be impolite. "Electronic Ghosts.." said Romuski. James deceided to stick with that thought, for now. Finaly dinner arived and the guests who did not neat to eat polietly moved themselves from the table and sit by, having chat's in French or German. James was concentrating on Mastering the Chopsticks still. He made a annoyed sound as the piece of pork he was trying to spear flew off his plate and smacked into the wall. "Cheer up, you'll master it soon.." reasured Kasumi who noted the look of anger, resentment and shame of James face. The newly arived Sister, Nabiki ran her eyes across the row of stain's next to the embedded piece of pork. "Master it, yeah..". Soon dinner was finished and apon a anouncement from Soun, the entire group of people shifted carefully into the Living room.  
  
There was two things of considerable size that dwarfed the Living Room. One of them was the wooden crate, The other was the mixed group staring slack- jawed at the wooden crate. "And this was just the Medium Version of it.." said Soun happily. "I see, and what iz the diffence between that and the Medium Version?" asked Henri. "We couldn't get it through the doorway.." replied Soun. There was a paused, James polietly coughed. Soun turned to Romuski Travishek. "As a honorable Invester in the future of the Tendo Satome Dojo, I want you to have the honor to open the crate?". Then he handed a crowbar to Romuski. "Geeze, is zat called Honorable Crowbar?" muttered Otto. Romuski took the crowbar, looked at the Crate and used the crowbar for it's purpose. As the front of the crate came down on James feet, he made a solem promised to stay away from crates in the future. Everybody looked at the objected that was once inside the crate, ignoring the gaijin's scream of pain. It was a huge screamed Television. "Okay, who saw that coming" said Nabiki. The Tendo Sisters, Ranma and the Author raised there hands. "And now.. would sir like to join me and Genma with Honorable task of connecting it up?" Romuski sighed but helped them connect it up. "And would you like to help us honorable to tune in all 98 Satalite Channel's?" said Soun. The responce this time from Romuski was a brief sentence of angry muttered Russian as he turned the Television on via the sandwich of the Remote. Luckily, all the channel's were clear. "And would you like to ho-". "Enough! You are pushing this too far" snapped Romuski. Soun sighed. "Would Ranma like to honorable carry the crate outside?". Ranma blinked and helped with the crate. Romuski, Henri and Otto left for the Dining Room.  
  
The Cork from the Champagne popped out and slammed into the ever-newly plastered ceiling of the Tendo Dojo, getting embedding instantly. There was cheer's and merry laughter from James and the European's. James didn't know what the merriment was about, but he liked champange. Romuski pulled several slender wine glasses from his Greatcoat sleeve and proceeded to place them on the table. He was about to pour the expensive French liquer when Otto tapped him briefly on the shoulder. The robot turned around and saw Otto holding out a huge plain Beer-Stein. "You must be joking, comrade.." said Romuski. The Prussian snapped his fingers in irratation. Romuski started to pour the Champagne into a number of glasses. "Everybody! Come here! Enjoy!" shouted the Robot. Before the Tendo house Occupants knew it, they were in the dining room each holding a glass of Champagne. "Um. What is this celebration about?" asked James. "Otto and Henri's re-birth into the world.." said Romuski. They all ignored the brief hissing of rapidly evaparating Champagne from Otto's direction. "So vhat do you think of the Champagne?" asked Romuski cheefully. "Oh...very bubbly.." said Kasumi. Akane and Ranma shrugged. "Slightly dry.." muttered Nabiki. Soun and Genma had already finished the Champagne and went back into the room to watch a real Manly Sport (Japanese Ice-Skating). As soon as the Champagne was gone, Ranma, Akane, Nabiki and Kasami left the room, The Artificial European's began to chat, sometimes going to English when James would have a small conversation and then back into French or German. Then all talked into the night, untill Kasumi asked them politely to finish up. Most of the House-Hold was in bed. Romuski thanked Kasumi for being such a lovely host, picked up his Greatcoat and left. James headed for his dojo Camp-Bed, his leg's feeling like weight's. Soon only Otto and Henri remained. There was awkward silence. The two could barely get along when it was just them and Otto decided to go outside to watch his first Night in years. Henri agreed and settled down with a book he borrowed from Romuski.  
  
In the street's of Nerima, Romuski was the only person to be seen. He stepped over the prone form of the Yazuka thug he just viciously knocked out. He started to worry about Uri, and sped up his pace.  
  
The Ninja watched the tall figuire speed across the pavement and into the night and then untied his Grappling Hook and threw it far toward's the ledge of a nearby Building. He checked it for it's firmness and swung across with quick but carefull haste. The Money the Kuno's were offering was quite alot for such a weak looking European Boy. He suspected he might have heavy guard and he had a phial of a mild sleeping potion than will keep the guard's at bay. He snuck deep into the night towards the Tendo residence.  
  
Otto leaned back in the chair that had came from nowhere outside the Tendo house. It was a peacefull night, and Otto was thinking. It was odd being told he was not the real Otto Schmalberg, just a projected copy of his original self. Otto dismissed this depressing thought and deceided to think about this new world, very very very differant from his time. He pondered over the strange things he had seen so far. That thing that was in that crate, the Russian Tin-Man and His Holographic Companion. Otto shook his head, leaned back and pretended to nap. His eyes shot open as a tile slipped from the roof and shattered on the ground nearby.  
  
The Ninja cursed his recklessness. He should have checked the tile's to see any sign in weakness. Now his maverik actions may have cost him his stealth. He waited for five whole minutes. The Ninja had heard no sound human life. He lept silently to the ground and edged through the shadows. Immediatly bumping into Otto. The Ninja left back, screaming in fright. The next action was pure reflex. The small throwing Knife bounced offed Otto's shoulder. Otto's reaction was also automatic, and he lunged for the Ninja. The Ninja backflipped gracefully and landed. "I don't know who you are, foolish gaijin, but you are messing with a Blackbelt master of several martial arts!". Then the Ninja lept back and did some sterotypical Martial Arts intimidation actions and noises mostly consisting of 'Hooo Yai!'. Otto watched this expressionless for three full minutes. Then the Ninja finaly finished. "Hah! are you afraid to engage in combat? Attack me first, if you must..". Otto stepped forward and slammed his foot right into the Ninja's crotch. Otto has two light settings, option's that Henri also has. They can both switch to either HardLight or SoftLight. HardLight gives the Holograms an abilty to pick up things, hold things and the abilty to solidify your entire body. Softlight is a baisic option. Even though you cannot pick, or hold things up, you are much lighter, impossibly to knock down or solidly touch. Unfortunatly for the Ninja, Otto had decided to stay on HardLight. It was a amazing that nobody in the Tendo house woke up during the ear- splitting scream uttered from the mouth of The Ninja. The Ninja toppled to the floor and curled up into a ball. Otto, already tired of this, grabbed his oppoments leg and threw him hard into the night's sky. The Ninja woke up a week later in the Middle of the Ukraine. Otto returned to the chair and mused at his pre-programed boy-hood memory's.  
  
And so, a week passed. James did his job at Ukyo's, Romuski spent most of the time exploring Tokyo, The Holograms would be seen drinking alot of wine, beer or spirits in many Bars, causing many a small fire. While Nabiki stock piled clothes and many other stuff she had purchased using her discount and ring for collateral. Then something extroaudinary happend to James as he was relaxing near the Koi pool.  
  
James lay sprawled out infront of the Tendo's Koi pool. He was holding a stalk of grass and absentmindedly was swishing it through the water. He was feeling a tired lazyness pulsing through his body and his did not want to anything but relax. The Koi scattered once more for a sweep of the glass blade for the 5th time. A slight breeze blew across the estate. James mentally smiled. Most of the wounds he had received a week ago were gone. James did not notice the minor pressure on his chest has he went into a semi-doze. "Caught anything, yet?" asked someone near his head. "No, the dammed things are to sm-". James opened his eyes as he started to close the sentence, and saw the skull of rat, wrapped up in a billowy robe, with glowing eyes, looking at him. SQUEAK! the thing announced. James was quite frankly, startled. Making a sound simmiler to ' Yaaargh!', the boy lept into the air (quite remarkable really, because of his prone position) and sent The Death of Rat's flying into the air.  
  
Ranma landed on the ground, also quite tired from a little 'thinking' on the roof and was surprised hear the sound of alarm from the gaijin near the Koi Pond. Then, something landed in his hair. Ranma's reaction was also like James reaction. The sound and motion was very simmiler, he was also running around in short circles. James had briefly calmed down from his fright and was about and spotted Ranma doing his amusing little panic- attack when he heard the voice that had queried him earlier. "Jumpy, aren't we?". James squawked once more and turned a full 360 degree turn. Nobody came into his field of vision. The first and most dominating thought that popped into James head and defied all logic was, they're back and they are coming to get ME!. James decided to turn and run and almost bumped into Ranma, causing them both to scream again and again and again. Finaly Ranma managed to speak. "W-wait! let's stop acting like this! This is how a girl would react to situation like this..". James, who came from a Guild that was run not only by the Guild leader, but the Wife had learned to respect women and treat them equally. They all did at the Assassin's guild, a very narrow minded person wouldn't survive very long there. "Isn't that a little sexist?". "Who gives a damn what it is! Alright, let's review. I have something in MY hair..? right?". James nodded. "And something has spooked you, right?" James nodded once more. "Alright. Get this damn thing outta my hair!" shouted Ranma. James looked at the shape, now entagled in Ranma's hair. He searched for something in the many pockets of his shirt and trousers. He finaly pulled out a pair of blut Scissors. Ranma's eyes bugged out. "No. Way". "But you want it o-..". "I have never had a haircut, get it out someother way!". James was also starting to feel his temper go. "There is no other bloody way! It's all tangled up! Hair grows back!". "Find someother way then!". James paused. "We could pull it out...it's tangled very deep and it might hurt..". Ranma remembered getting chewing gun in hair once and shuddered. Never again would the pulling out stratagy be used. "No.". James groaned. "Don't look at me then..". Neither of them had spotted Akane who had just left the house and was standing near- by walk up towards them.  
  
Akane watched the two panic and shout at each other and rolled her eyes, boys she thought. She walked up to Ranma and batted the thing out his hair, That was followed by a moment of embarassed silence. Akane then spoke. "Honestly Ranm-". This was interupted by one word. SQUEAK!  
  
James could not take his eyes off the 8 inch Skeletal Rodent that was threatining him with a miniture scythe. SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEEEK! echoed The Death of Rats. Then the voice that James had heard earlier interupted the Rat. "That was your own bloody fault, you shouldn't have been sitting on him..". James turned 180 degree's around rapidly. There was nobody in his viewpoint. "Down here". James looked at his feet. "No. That's too far, up a slight bit..". James adjusted his head. On the ground was a Raven. "'Ello, Quoth the Raven.." it introduced it self. Politeness kicked in. "James Sto-Helit Death, Son of The Duchess of Sto-Lat..". There was a pause. "One of the son's, anyway..". James felt a pricking sensation and glanced down to see The Death of Rat's scrabble up his Trouserleg, up his shirt and onto his left Shoulder. It then stood up, put his scythe under it's paw and set off a savo of squeaks. Quote rolled one of his eyes. "Yes, Hah Hah Hah..very funny..." said the bird sarcasticly. "...." said James. "You are probably want to know why we know alot about you, James Sto-Helit Death, Son of Susan Sto-Helit Death, family motto 'Novus Timeus'..". "Um. Yes..". Ranma and Akane blinked. "Ranma..is that Raven talking?..". "No.". "Ah.". There was a pause. "It's a Bird that's talking to him.." said Ranma. "Oh". "..shall we go in then.." said The Raven. James watched the Raven flutter up landed on James other shoulder. "Okay.." said James, who was now feeling quite faint. James walked towards the Tendo house. "Wait! I don't think Kasumi would want that..". Raven turned around and looked at her. "Don't worry, he'll be alright.." he said indicating to the stunned gaijin. "I don't suppose they've got some eyeball's lying around?".  
  
"..James, are you aware you have..a Raven and a Skeleton Rat on your shoulder.." said Kasumi. James nodded. Kasumi smiled. "Please clean up after them, then..". James nodded again and walked roboticly to The Dining Room. Kasumi heard the Raven speak. "My names Quoth, kid.."  
  
Quoth stood on a sheet of one of Soun's old Newspaper next to a small bowl full of Olives. Opposite James, Otto and Henri were playing a game of chess with a cheap chess set, complete with badly detailed plastic pieces and easily damaged chessboard. The Death of Rat's remained on James shoulder, now in a sitting position. Nabiki was leaning against the wall and Akane and Ranma were standing at the door, watching the newest odd revalation yet. The room was silent, aside from the sound of the Samurai Movie Soun and Genma were watching. Quoth broke the silence. "'Cor, these thing's are evn better than the ones we find in Ankh-Morpork!" said Quoth as he finished a Olive. "Of course, eyeball's beat them any day, but they're seem's to be a shortage these day's at home?". "R-really? what's happening on the Disc?" asked James. "Nothing much, apart from the Quirm Revoloution and all". James blinked. "Quirm revolted?". Quoth nodded. "There was alot of Tension around the Sto-Plain's and Ankh-Morpork..because they afraid it would happen to them..". "Why did they do it?". Quoth took this moment to devour another Olive. "..The masses had enough of poverty and desposed on The King...". James blunk. Ankh-Morpork had revolted twice in the past 80 years, and the masses we're still poor. "The most alarming thing is that Quirm has invaded all the small provinces around it and made a super- nation. They're talks of Uniting the Sto-Plain's and Ankh-Morpork... it's gotten really tense since they invaded Wressia and Hessia. "Did they take La Noxture?" asked James. Quirm nodded. James groaned, he'd inheritated a wonderful cottage there by a dead great uncle. "Of course it'll all end up in War, I don't care about politic's meself, it's all a field of eyeballs in my view.." muttered Quoth. James jaw swung open. "That comment was tasteful.." said Nabiki. "How can you say that! people will die!" stormed James. "Funny, being a relative of him would give you a much more relaxed attitude towards death.." said Quoth sagely. Otto looked up for a moment at the talking crow and looked down at the chessboard, knocking out Henri's 1st Bishop. "Why are you here? What do you know about me?" said James, feeling very tired all of a sudden. SQUEAK! announced The Death of Rat's. "Very well, James Sto-Helit, you are not only the Great Grandson of Death but also the Grandson of time..". Everybody apart from the Hologram's and Nabiki gasped dramaticly in the room. Otto once more looked up from his chess board. "Dun dun dun!" he anounced accent-lessly.  
  
....You were born on the 12th of Sektober at 2 AM under a patch of small and boring stars..". A grop of stars reserved mainly for Chess Board makers, very dull people and timid men who object to epic sized adventures who'd rather stay home on Saturday with a cup of Tea and small book about Fern's. "...you're mother, Susan Sto-Helit was a mentally strong women with a attractive body and strange white hair that arranged with a black streak. You're Father was two men trapped in one body, kinda like slack-jawed here.." said Quoth. Ranma's mouth snapped shut. "Hey! how'd ya know that anyway?". "I've been watching for a very long time..now back to my explanation". "...Jeremy Lobsang Time was a very distant and dull man who was lead around my your Mother, he'd like a cup of tea and a nice clock to fix..". James remembered his Father, he never saw him these day's without him holding one of those bloody clocks. "You were the second sibling out of four, Robert, you, Charles and George". James remembered each of his Brothers. He hated Robert for his good look's and sucess, and George was in the Junior year as the Assassin's Guild. Charles was being taught there too. "You're family was middle-class, Susan painted so called Modern Art and Jeremy was a 2nd class clerk for Lord Vetinari, the bonus was five free scholarship's to the smartest school and guild in the city". Quoth continued on. "At Sixteen you were called up to The Patrician's desk, were Vetinari, your mother and Father had a little chat..". James remembered the conversation. He and the entire Scorpian House had be called up for this quest. James was chosen to be the leader mainly because he had a nice haircut and he was the entity of sensibilty. "I thought that stuff Mother and Father told be before I left with the rest of the House was just a..a..". "Go on, say lie. You can't. There's proof thicker than your own marrow, boy". James nodded. It all seemed farfetched when he first heard it. He then remembered his sword, time almost stopping when he and others were in danger and walking through wall's without noticing them. He could barely remember what happen in that alley where he was taken too after his kidnap apart from that strange voice. "You've even met him as well, for a brief moment. And you have a letter..". James thumped the table making everybody in the room apart from the Hologram's and The Ice Queen jump. "Alright! I bloody get it already! I accept it". "Good, but we're also here with a message from the big guy..". "My Great Grandfather?" said James, still wincing at the strangeness of his words. "Yes, give it to him, Rat..". The Death of Rat's stood up and began to squeak, making rapid charade like movement's. SQUEAK! SQUEAK SQUEAK? SQUEAK SQUEAK!. Akane winced and smacked her ear with her palm. Ranma disgustingly poked a finger in his. "Um, what did he say?" said James. "He said that those chap's you defeated a week ago are coming back with a army of 6 million and they are hell bent on killing you and getting that ring back.." said Quoth cheefully. There was a thump as James fainted and landed head first on the table. Kasumi entered the Dining Room. "Oh my!". Quoth swallowed another Olive. "He took it better than I thought he would..".  
  
"Ooooh, god's.." groaned James as removed the cold washcloth Kasumi had placed on his head five minutes ago and groped blindly for his glasses. He finaly located his specs and slid them on. "What a awful dream, a talking Raven and a skeleton ra-". James opened his eyes and noticed the Death of Rat's sitting on his chest, crossing it's arm's and holding it's miniture scythe between it's teeth. SQUEAK?. James groaned. "Ah, awake again.." said Quoth. "So it wasn't a dream? and your prodiction..". "..of your Death via a huge army of somekind, yep it's true.." said Nabiki casually. "It suck to be you.." muttered Ranma. James got up and dusted himself down. He then stared at the wall for a few moments. "Right then, thanks for the only slightly bit usefull information. I'm now going to save them the trouble and kill myself..". As James got up, Quothe spake once more. "I didn't just come here to give you some personal news, but to tell you something else. Remember what happend in that alley-way?". James paused, memories of him towering above the demon's that has interrorgated him, holding a blue bolt of something by what looked like a sword hilt, looking very tall and very terrifying. The oddest thing his noticed was that his eye's were glowing a dark blue colour, the colour of dying Nebula's deep in space. "...." said James. "Ah, you do remember it. Me and and Ratty saw it..". The Death of Rat's objected to being called 'Ratty' with a angry echoing squeak. "Looked very painfull for them as well, remind me not cross you when you are angry..". James remembered the sound the demon's bodies made as his blade pierced there flesh. "You can handle obviously a hundred of them with ease with that kind of fighting, all that stealth and speed stuff helped too..". "But you can do much more...what odd thing's have happend to you before?". "Odd? Let's see, I've walked through wall's, found myself disapearing in once and apearing in another place after that..". Quoth nodded. "Those things are small, minute compared to the stuff you could do..?..You could walk through the gulf's of Space and time, you can live under the deph's of the Ocean. Time, light and physic's will mean nothing too you. You could eat the hottest curries and not be effected. We don't know about that one, it's only been done once". The Raven continued. "You can turn demon's into ash and water into wine, if you don't mind it being black and tasteing vaguely of blackcurrent". There was a pause in the room, everybody but James looked apaphetic, impressed or still shocked and confused. "And how is that going to help me?". "You ninny! have you been listening to me at all, with all that stuff under your belt you could possibly have a slim chance of surviving..that is if you had something like an army to help you?". "Und Army?" enquired Otto. Henri looked up from the chess. "Old emotion's stiring, mon ami?". Otto snorted. "I am not your friend..". James coughed politely. "You said something about an army?". Otto and Henri looked at each other. "We both have what we first thought was useless information from La Pucelle Data.." said Henri. "And Das Ferggini!" said Otto. "It tell's us how to make a cheaper, less durable or Technical version's of ourselves..". Otto nodded. "By using zeze ving called Micro-chip's and some other micoscopic sized objects..". James blinked. "Can you make them?". "We think we can, but we must get these Micro-chip's..". James nodded. He himself had no idea what a Microchip was, when he first heard the word he thought of a very small Ankh-Morpork chip. "Okay, I'm interested.." said James. Quoth could have grinned, if he had the face for it, instead he had a great feeling of satisfaction. Death had originally given him Scroll's to take to James, but on the way to this dimension, which was quite along way from the Discworld's own 2nd hand dimension. So he read them all, and thanks to his huge Raven intelligence, he had remembered every last detail on those scroll's. This was very helpfull, because the bag that contained them was washed down the canal they fell into and was without a doubt floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean by now. "I'll tell you tommow at 6 in the Garden, good luck.." and with that The Raven left the Table and flew out a open window. James blinked and sat down, not noticing the Death of Rat's scurry off.  
  
Five minutes after the Raven and thing left, Akane managed to find her words. "Y-your the son of Death?!" she managed to trail out. James got up and calmly brushed himself down. "Great Grandson actually..". Nabiki rolled her eyes, tension was growing in the room. "You could have told us! We could have had those things in my house! those demons!". "Akane's right, they could have caused havoc with those weapon's and tenticles, people may have died...". Akane paused and paled. "They have Tenticles?!". Ranma nodded, Akane paused and briefly shuddered. "What was I supposed to say, 'Hi, I'm a relative of one of the four horsemen can you please lend my room and board so I can pay you back for the Koi.'. Would you have given me a room then?". "That's not the point! you could of gotten us all killed, you stupid baka!". James kept his exterior cool, but inside he was panicing. He noticed Ranma nervously step away from Akane and then the Red Alert alarm's went off. Then there was the sound of a spoon tapping a wine glass. Everybody's attension shifted to Henri who was holding his empty wineglass in one hand a a crude plastic chess piece of the rook in another. "Monsiers, Mademosiel's, there is no need to fight. What done is done. If I were you, you should be worrying about the 6 million demon's coming in this direction..". James fainted again. There was a silence. "He's doomed, isn't he?" said Nabiki. All the room's occupant's agreed. 


	2. The largest man against demon conflict

Chapter 2- Disclaimer for Chapter 1 still applies.  
  
"Oh crap-ski!" exclaimed Romuski as he stared at the huge pile of stolen object's that had been dominating the middle of the living room in the apartment. In the middle of the pile of objects, behind with tail poked out comicly. Romuski avoided watching Uri's because of the the very light dress she was wearing, and kept his viewpoint on the area above it. He remembered seeing this huge pile of objects a couple of nights before, he looked like a complete idiot when Uri sleepily turned on the lights and saw his with his sword burried in the stomach of a huge Teddy-Bear. His thoughts were broken when he sensed something rub against his leg, he looked down to spot the cat that was entangled between his legs. The robot stepped over it and lightly tapped it with the sceath of his Kligenthal sword until it went away. The cats also mildly bothered him. They were all getting attached to this hotel room, and Romuski knew that it had a strict 'No pet's' rule. He really did not want to send a death threat to the manager after this would be discovered. The problem was this, Uri, a Catgirl who was very attractive, was a hormone magnet for all the male cats that had came into heat. Uri could also communicate with these cats, and she had been watching Television for a while now. Romuski was not surprised as he saw The latest DVD's, the latest game consoles and games and the latest Clothes among the pile of stolen stuff. He never thought cats would be good thief's. "Vhat I want to know, is how did they get zat in?" he muttered to himself looking at the classic bechstein piano in the corner. "Dammit! I can't find you're present, master.." said Uri as she popped up from the pile. "It's okay Uri, the thought of you giving one to me is enough.." said Romuski, who if he could blush, would blush. Uri smiled. "That's so sweet! I think I have some lace stuff lying around here..". The catgirl burrowed deep into the pile. Romuski started to think what she meant about lace. Then he remembered it was a mild tearm for very exotic clothes. "Ah ha! found you..". Uri tugged out a bunched up piece of thin cloth. She then began to undress. "Um, what are you doing?" said Romuski. The mostly nude Uri turned around rapidly, certain parts of her upper body obeying physics, and grinned a cute fang- toothed grin. "I can't wear them other my other clothes". Romuski stepped back. With his line of work you rarely met females, very attractive and naked ones were over the the impossible margin and he began to panic. Uri saw this move and pouted. "Aw. Somebody feeling anxious? HUG!" Uri lept forward at amazing speed, startling Romuski greatly. Romuski did what any warm blooded male would have done, he jumped back stumbled backwards towards the door, snatched the cheap leather 'pack from the ground and lept through the nearest window. Romuski, remember was a robot not a warm blooded human male. Uri blinked for a moment and shrugged it off. She ignored the broken window and returned to her pile of objects to find something else. Another cat entered the room carrying a bento in it's mouth.  
  
The surprised Japanese citizens jumped as Romuski crashed onto the pavement. Most of them were people outside of Tokyo visiting relatives and had not seen the weirdness that Nerima or a large amount of Tokyo offered. They watched as Romuski slowly got up and brush himself down, quickly taking off his 'pack and checking if things we're alright in there. When that was done, he looked up at the window he dived out and groaned. Nearby, a high ranking Official for the Japanese Police Force almost choked on the Tea he was drinking in a nearby cheap Noodles stand. He hadn't seen one of the most International 1980's most wanted jump from a hotel window and land heavily on the ground, causing just damaged to the pavement where he impacted. But he was there, Romuski Travishek AKA The Red Terror, The Red Cossack and The (former) Soviet Union's Super-Soldier creation. He watched the robot, who was wearing a brown greatcoat to conceal most of his body ,even though his face and legs gave it away, start to warl off. He gulped down his lukewarm tea, payed the vendor and calmly called the nearest Police Station for it's heaviest SWAT team. He then started to follow him, shivering as a drop of water landed on his wrist.  
  
Romuski looked up into the sky and swore, it was going to rain. He thanked god he bought his 'pack with him because the last thing he wanted to be arrested for indecent exposure. He walked a little bit away from the Hotel, and ducked into the nearest alley-way. He emerged in his human form, except now his beard had been shaved and he was wearing smart dark-prea-green trousers and cheap jet black smooth wellington boot's, he also had removed his soaking wet gratcoat and fur-hat, and he was now wearing a equally coloured Jacket that had a Red Star on each shoulder. His weapon's and bandoliers had wisely dissapeared. all but his sword with hung in his sceath. As soon as he stepped out the alley-way, the raining had finished. Romuski cursed his luck, forgetting a Umbrella. He noticed the Detective looking at the alley-way enterarence. "Can I help you comrade?" asked Romuski. The Detective turned to the man he asumed was from Eastern Europe, in his mid twenties and good at speaking Japanese. Very good. He just asumed he was a software desighner. There was lots of them these days. "No, I am afraid not. I seem to be looking for someone. The Eastern European produced a cigarette from nowhere and lit it in the cutted hand style with a cheap lighter. He then placed it casully in his mouth. "Was it a thief?". The Japanese High-Ranking Detective shook his head. "N. Nothing. Just somet- one that owe's me money". The Detective peered down the alley-way once more. "Good-day then.." said Romuski. The Detective muttered a reply and walked up the street the way he came. Romuski watched him go, and made note to be more carefull from now onwards. The World will soon know that The Red Terror/Cossack was back. He turned around and walked up the street humming an ancient Slavlic Cossack song.  
  
Inabi Seiro leaned against his own Car, Mobile in hand with a grim look. He had just told The Governer of Japan's Police-Force and the message will be passec to the Japanese Secret Service. That Message will be spread to the Prime-Minister, Emperor (for security reasons) and the American CIA, who, hopefully will tell the rest of the World Goverments. The Red Terror had done many illegal things. He robbed banks by hacking or manually putting a gun to a teller's head and uttering 'No small change..', he had blackmailed Minor Nation's Leader, He had assinated many International Politicion's and Mafia Leader and he was in charge in several minor Soviet's, or was. He had done some minor terrorist things, hostage situations where the attemped Rescuers were put in Hospital in a year, he rarely killed people liked that. He had to be stopped, even though the Soviet Union was down, he'd be working for someone else. This thing never failed. He took down an entire Israelie SWAT Team in 87 with just a sword and a pistol. Inabi knew this was going to lead to trouble, the question was, could the Japanese Police Force and Army stop him? Or did he have a blackmail info about a leading MP. Inabi shivered and thanked god he was just the messanger.  
  
Meanwhile, in the chamber of the Auditors, the current three chairmen were listening in on the whole conversation. #This is a unique development..# said one. #I agree, we must remember this for future reference..# said the 2nd one.  
  
Kasumi slid back the sliding door and was surprised by the tall slavonic man at the door. "Um, hello. Can I help you?" she said bowing. Romuski paused for a moment. "Is James in?" asked Romuski. "Yes, who should I tell him is here?". Romuski paused. "I didn't tell you about my curse, it's Romuski". Kasumi looked blank. Romuski sighed. "The Robot..". "Oh! I'll anounce it to him right away.. she started to walk off but then paused. "Did you know Ranma has the same sort of curse as you?, but with differant genders?". Romuski briefly nodded. "Shall I put some hot water as well?". Romuski thought about this. "Yes, that would be very nice, thank you". Kasumi closed the door after Romuski stepped in, and went off to find James. Romuski took off his Wellington's and placed his 'pack on the floor.  
  
The reflection's from the huge Television in the Tendo living room reflected off James glasses and assaulted his stunned brain. As soon as James saw the huge sprawl of Tokyo apon his discent, he knew this place was going to VERY differant. Television reminded him of The Clickies, something that happend forty odd years ago in Ankh-Mork during the Time of the Holy- Wood craze. It was predictably brought to the end when the creatures of the dungeon dimension burst out the screen masked behind the images of the actors and went on a rampage in Ankh-Morpork, which was ended at The Tower of Art. James thought briefly if the World has Octulace Celulious, but then remembered it was O-C was a bi-product of the waste of the Jewed 6 Pincher crab, a unique creature only found of the remotest coasts. One of the reasons because of that was that were going extincit because the claws at full growth (5 weeks) imobilise them from moving at all, not reccomendable for a long distance relationship for that species. As James was thinking all this, he was unaware that he was muttering 'Just like the Clickies..' every 2.7 seconds which was really starting to annoy Nabiki. It was starting to increase in colume and the Buisness Information was about to come up any minute. She wanted to see how her stocks in a certain online shopping site. She was considering to kick James mildly in the leg when Kasumi entered the room. "Oh James.." she said. James brain pestered the body back into the action. "Yes, Miss Kasumi?" he replied as he turned his head. "Your robot friend is here to see you.." said Kasumi cheerfully. She stopped and stared at James face. "Whoop's, sorry.." said James as he brought out a black hankerchief and wiped his chin. Must have been unactive too long, he mentally muttered. Then Romuski apeared in his human form. The man turned and greeted James. "Hello, comrade." said Romuski. "Oh, hello Romuski!" said James. James got up from the couch and shook his friend's hand. "So this is what your cursed form looks like?" said James. Romuski nodded. "Being human is weird for me and I'd rather get out of it as soon as possible. And the trousers chafe". James winced symapheticly. "And I think they might be itchy..". Kasumi smiled at the hints. "I'll go get some hot water then..". She cheefully headed towards the Kitchen once more. She paused for a moment. "All the others are in the dining room!" she called. "Excelent, I have a few stories about my stint in The Napoleonic Wars to tell Otto.." said Romuski. James followed his friend towards the dining room.  
  
Romuski winced at the wave of bad karma as he entered the room that the Tendo's used for eating. Not surprisingly, Otto and Henri were still there but Otto was reading a Encyclopedia and Henri was trying to doze. Opposite them, Akane and Ranma in his female from were not speaking to each other and Soun and Panda Genma were playing Shogi outside, sitting between the gap of the wide open doors. Romuski and James sat near the Hologram's, Romuski taking up the remaining space on that side. "I'm surprised you two are still here.." said Romuski. Otto looked up frowning from The Enclyclopedia. "Jah, We'll leave when ready. I'm just trying to make sense of what happend in the past 300 years..". "With the Japanese Encyclopedia?". "I'm trying to brush up my information on the orient" muttered Otto, whose shako feather had been ruffled. Henri mocked snored. Romuski clearly noting this conversation wasn't going to nowhere. "What happend to you two then?" asked Romuski. "Why should we tell you?" they both muttered. "Because there isn't a should in this". "Who the heck are 'ya anyway?" muttered Onna Ranma/Ranko. "Oh for god's sake. You'd think the Russian accent alone would tip you off". Kasumi swiftly entered with a Kettle. "Oh, thanks Kasumi.." said Onna-Ranma. Kasumi placed the kettle on the table and quickly stepped back. Just as Onna-Ranma was reaching for the kettle, Romuski snatched it and poured it right over his face. "Yeouch!!" Romuski screamed seconds before the robot was back in his original form. "Hey! I need that!" exclaimed Ranma. Romuski plonked the half-full hot kettle of water on the table. As soon as Ranma was back to his old self, the kettle was once more whisked away back to the Kitchen. Genma looked up from the Shogi board and produced his sign. -Boy! why did you not leave some for your Father?-. "You didn't ask for any.." said the soon to be tweaked Ranma. -That is no excuse! What kind of dishonorable son does not offer his equally disadvantaged father the kettle?-. Ranma growled. "You should have payed attension pop's" he said, his previous emotion being replaced by I-am-holier-than-thou attitude. Genma lumbered up to full hight and advanced menacingly apon The Martial Artist. "Baka moron's.." muttered Akane. Henri opened his eyes, he had just recalled something. "What's the time?" he asked. "Six PM on the dot.." said Akane. Henri smiled and waited. A minute passed. "James, you've forgotten the visit you had yesterday?". James was about the reply when he was bitten on the leg by The Death of Rat's. "YYEEEEOUCH!"  
  
James half stepped half stumbled outside, rubbing his leg while following The Death of Rat's. "You know, you could have chosen a less painfull way of getting my attension.." he muttered. SQUEAK? "Like how? Dog's touch there masters leg's with there noses.." which was actually quite a nasty thing for dog owners. SQUEAK pointed out the Death of Rat's. "I know you are not a dog, I was just pointing something out!". 8 Yards away, the small crowd that occupied the dining room followed lazily watching. "'ya know, I think it's great watching someone else do the training after awhile.." stated Ranma. "What do you suppose it's going to be?" asked Nabiki. "'Dunno. But for the powers that Raen mentioned it's gotta be something awesome, like blackhole hopping or continent juggling..". There was a paused. "Ranma, you watch to much Sci-Fi..". When the crowd noticed James had stopped near the wall, they stopped. Quoth was sitting on the wall, immatating some sort of zen like posture for Raven's while wearing a sock with a large gap cut out of the top to it could be fitted under his beak like a long ragged light grey beard. He had some sort of version of wisdom on his face. There was silence, James just stared the crow. The Death of Rat's looked down on the ground with shame as his companion started to attempt to mediatate. Then, confusingly, kabuki music started to play. "Oh my, I left the Radio on to loud!" exclaimed Kasumi who rushed to the Kitchen to turn it off. When she returned, everybody was still there gawping at the awful parady of a Mystical Sensei. James mentally groaned, this was not good.  
  
"What the hell's are you doing?" asked James calmly. Quoth's eyes shot open. "Patience my son, time will tell". James removed his batterd left shoe from his foot and waved it in Quoth direction menacingly. "Oh alright, it got to me. I should have known better than to watch those Drive-By clickies while we explored this place. "What are you supposed to be?" asked Kasumi. "Yes, we would also like to know.." said Henri. Quoth sighed. He was annoyed, he spent half an hour working this out and this is what he got got for his trouble. "I'm supposed to be the wise old zen like Karate/Kung Fu/ Kendo master that teachers the plucky teenager the art. Not the one that get's killed of course". James put his shoe back on. "What the hell has this got to do with training?" asked Akane. "I adding a sense of humor to it" replied Quoth.  
  
Meanwhile, a continent away in Great Britain, London, Slough, David Brent who was a boss of a branch in a paper manufacturing company winced for some reason. He shook it off, turned on his radio and bopped his head badly to some Techno.  
  
SQUEAK! muttered The Death of Rat's. "I'm gettin' to them, god's!" said the experated Raven. "Ah, bon. The reason at last at being here" said Henri. James turned around. "Why are you all here, exactly?". "We're bored!" came the general reply from everyone. Behind his glasses, James eyes rolled. "Ah. Back to me?" said Quoth. All attension was focused on Quoth once more. "Thank you. Okay James, listen up. I am going to teach you one of these usefull skill's everyday because A: It's very tiring and B: I cannot be buggered to do two, alright?". James nodded. "What you are going to learn is a simple shockwave, very easy to do. Doesn't neeed any thaum's at all to work". "Thaum's?" questioned Akane. SQUEAK replied The Death of Rat's. Akane frowned with confusion. "Uh, thanks for the info". "...the shockwave is mainly a defence, it can not only knock a weapon out of the assulters hand but it could also send the afore-mentioned attack to a far away place. Possibly Klatch. Hersheba is a good choice as well". "I see.." said James. "It's not that hard to do, you just have to get those rusty old gene's of yours and those thaum's working and it can be done". James nodded. He vaugely thought he could do it, it looked very easily. Much easier than slowing time for mutual defence purposes. "Are you up to the challenge?" asked Quoth gravely. A flash of thought skimmed cross James mind. "Alright, let's have a crack at it!" he said cheefully. "On one condition though?". "What?" asked Quoth. "Get rid of that sock, you look like a pillock wearing it".  
  
As soon as James request was fullfilled, the Great Grandson of Death, Grandson of time and the future Duke of miles apon miles of cabbage-field's was waiting to be taught a little bit of his heritage. The Tendo's, Satome's and Misc had settled down in the grass and we're passing popcorn to each other and having small conversation's. "Right then.." said Quoth. "Yes?" said James. "The Object is simple..". The Raven flew from the wall and perched on James shoulder. "You see that wall over there? you just need to knock something off it with the shockwave and that's it". "Really?". The Raven nodded. "We just need that something to knock off" said Quoth. Otto removed his holo-Graphic Shako and tossed it to James. James turned around and clumsily caught it. "As you can see, it is very denze" said Otto. James nodded and placed the Shako on the wall. He stood back a few paces back and looked at the wall. The sun was setting and silence, which was quite unusual, floated around the Tendo estate. James was considering to ask what to do next when his right arm to started to tingle. Though it was not tingling for any reason apart from Pin's and needles. James shook his arm in a irratated manner. Then it came to him, the 'let-the-gene's-do- the-work plan prevailed. James made a slashing gesture with his right hand and then the segment of wall infront of him exploded into chunks and chip's of mineriel. James winced and brushed the dust off his long sleeved shirt and trousers. The crowd clapped for a few seconds and then Soun's anguised voice from the group rang out. "God! MY WALL!!". Romuski sighed and searched for his checkbook in his jacket pocket. The Shako spun through the air in Otto's direction, then the german Captain smartly caught it.  
  
James looked thoughtfully at the smart gap in the Tendo Estate's front wall. Until now, the gate had a use. As Romuski Travishek wrote out another cheque to Soun Tendo who was in mock tears at the destruction. Nabiki and Kasumi were wondering where all the rubble had went, Ranma was wondering what was for dinner and Akane did not really care. When James finaly registered the damaged, he said a word which will be remembered by generations for well..generations. "Bugger, I blew it up!". "You did very well, James-Student.." said Quoth from the ground. "I think I can see that..". Meanwhile, Soun looked at the cheque Romuski had written out to him. "The wall didn't really cost that much..." he said. "Really, I'll take ze check back then.." said Romuski taking the check firmly between index and forefinger in an attempt to tug it out of Soun's fingers. Soun grasped hold to the cheque like a limpit to a rock. "However!..this may..pay for the damages he might accidently do as long as this course recides!". Romuski mentally sighed and let the cheque go. It didn't really matter, money nowadays was a petty thing. He had more than enough in many Anom. Swiss Back Acount's around The World. Still. With a worried thought about dinner from Kasumi, the small bored group started to drift back towards the house. The gaijin's and strange animals at the latter. Henri listened to the chirping Cicidas, watched the odd bird reel through the sky and ignored Ranma and Akane's most recent argument and wished he was alive. Really alive. Otto's thoughts raced over what has happend over the last 300 hundred years, Romuski was thinky about something else. James was thinking about tommow, ignoring the pressure of Quoth's claw's as they dug for purchase into his shoulders. The Death of Ra's was hopping behind James. Romuski, who was infront of the others, stopped at the doors of the dining room and waited for James. "Comrade, stop and listen for a moment". James, a natural at obeying people did so. "I noticed how bad you were handling that sword in the alley-way..such a thing is a hacking weapon, a engorged Knife". James motioned for him go on. "When it comes down to it, you won't have time use these attacks, so you must use the Warriors best friend. Ze Sword..". Genma, who was trailing with Ranma chose this moment to stop and criticise this comment. "Bah! Weapon's are not for true warrio-!". Romuski, still facing James grabbed Genma by the front of the GI and tossed him into the Koi pool. "Mr. Sto-Helit is not a warrior, he is a Gentlemen of a Golden age from where he is from" corrected Romuski. Ranma shook his head at his father's stupidity and walked into the dining room, followed by the soaking-wet glaring lumbering form of Panda Genma. "As I was saying...you must be tutored in the arts of handling a proper sword, like this..". Romuski unsceathed and tossed his Kligenthal at James who caught it gently by the handle and slashed at the empty air experimentally. James handed the sword back to the robot. "And your point being, Romuski?". "How would you like to be taught excellent Marksmenship and sword to ting down on one of the stool's near the counter. "I'll have vun as vell" said Otto removing his Shako. James and Henri looked at each other with puzzled look's on there faces, and then at Otto. They both knew Otto was a rather conservitive person, unlike Henri who was all up for Liberty, justice and attempting to enfore it on the world. Otto's view that every man has his place, but Otto's place would be a Colonel in charge of three thousand men, a sack of unlimited marks, a nice mansion near the Rhine and a Baronship for a bonus. "Uh, okay. Are you going to pay it?". James sighed. He knew the two did not have any money, so he decided to do a very noble thing to avoid trouble. "Um, I'm paying Ukyo.." said James. Ukyo smiled. James handed 14,0000 yen over Ukyo's. He had forgotten the money they had all stolen from Kuno. He found out a day later, and he wasn't very pleased with it.  
  
Smoke trailed lazily from the end of Romuski Travishek's latest cigarette. He was leaning on the wall to the left of the gate, easy to identify because there was not a chunk of it missing unlike it's sibling, the right wall. Kasumi was peacefully taking down the dry clothes and putting up the wet ones. She already had said hello and went on with her duties. Romuski watched a shadow wheel over him and heard the sound of fluttering. A bird had landed next to him. A black one. "'Ello, I'm looking forward to the lesson's your going to teach James today!" Quoth said cheefully. Kasumi picked up the basket of dry clothes and went back in. "Where is your friend?" asked Romuski. "Ratty? He's doing his job for awhile Won't be back for a few minutes. It take's time to help every rat on the disk that dies daily depart from his body and get back here. He may be a couple of second's off as well. He invented a amusing joke to tell them, to make it easier". Romuski couldn't possibly imagine how a rat who had just been ran over by an combine harvister would find a joke about cheese funny. Or whatever rat's joked about. There was a silence. "Does he know Death?" asked Romuski. "We both do. He has a nice house, you'd like it if you really liked the colour black to an extremety". "Vell, what is he like?". Romuski knew all things will enventually go, from people to buildings. "Death? He's actually alright. He likes a good curry and a joke. He even knows a few Hogswatch joke's". Romuski nodded. "Anything else, what about the afterlife?". Quoth shrugged. "Can't help you with that, I'm afraid. See you later!". The bird took flight. Romuski sighed and took out a brass pocketwatch and opened it. He should be here any minute, he thought. Then he heard a heavy Vehicle aproach the street and pull up.  
  
Otto scanned the Menu on the wall with raised eyebrows. Seafood, Pork, Beef, Chicken, Cheese , Asorted fruit and Yogurt? Ah, he thought. Here's one I might like. "I vould like ze Baked Alaska Okonimiyaki with rice, please". Ukyo bowed politely. "I'm sorry hun, we only do that on Sunday's". Damn. "Alright, give me a Beef Okonomiyaki. "One Beef and one Chicken comin' up!" said the Chef cheerfully. And so as Otto and Henri's Okonomiyaki cooked, people ate, James sweeped the floor and did some washing up and people much to Ukyo's happiness, baught some bottled-water. When the Okonomiyaki was finished, Ukyo handed them to Otto and Henri with dissposable chopsticks. The two ignored the chopsticks, and pulled out penknife's instead. For the next 11 Minutes and 28 seconds, Ukyo was going to see the alarming sight of the first actual made solid mode Hologram's eat the food. They did not exactly eat. They cut a piece from the Okonomiyaki and put it in there mouth. What happend next was the food was hammer with heat and electric current, and it would have given a wonderfull light show for those at the counter if Otto or Henri ate with there mouth open. James ignored this and kept on with his duties of keeping the shop clean and tidy. Otto finished before Henri and was getting bored. 


End file.
